Sister dating my ex

[LookOverHere]

My younger sister bumped into my ex boyfriend at a party, said she fancies him, said I’ve moved on, so it’s no problem to date him right? I feel surprisingly upset about it and have never dealt with this before. I know it’s not a crime to date a siblings ex; it happens, many would have no problem, but it feels upsetting to me. She is criticising me for being “possessive and sad”, accused me of still having feelings for him (I don’t in that way, just fond memories) and is calling me jealous. He just wrote me an email also calling me sad and why can’t I just let her be happy. It feels like a gang up and I’m in the way, and I’m getting a lot of criticism, although I haven’t said much. I just haven’t given an enthusiastic green light. They’ll go for it anyway, I think. I’m a new relationship and fairly happy in it, I just feel ick at a guy getting a chance to compare us sexually, and feel a bit thrown under the bus by my (ultra competitive) sister. AIBU?

How many guys are out there, that she would have to pick a boyfriend of her Sister? This i weird ,What do your parents say I wonder .I would leave them to it and concentrate on your current boyfriend!

My sister went on a date with an ex-boyfriend of mine. He was my 1st love, and we were together for 2 years. I wasn't very happy. I was married and pregnant, so my mum and sister couldn't understand why I was upset. One of my cousins married an ex-boyfriend of mine, and another cousin slept with someone I had already slept with. I do find it all a bit weird.

It's fucking weird.

Such a shame when our own mothers don't agree.

I felt so betrayed when my cousin dated my ex boyfriend, and doubly betrayed when my mum said it wasn't even a problem!

How dare they tell you you are sad

They are the sad ones

I mean, you were intimate with each other and now he wants to sh*g your sister?!

I dunno if they think that's normal let them get on with it

My kids dad (my ex) dated his younger brother's first love and they have a baby now.

They started seeing each other when the brother and her were still dating.

Ask her if he still has that weird mole near his balls.

Yeah, if she's competitive I'd defo ask if she's happy to have your cast offs.

Sorry for being disgusting, but I’d message her something along the lines of ‘oh I don’t mind really. Just remember when his tongues next in your mouth that it’s been up my arse’ 😂

Thanks everyone for replying, really appreciate it. I dated him on/off in my early 20’s, tumultuous relationship, it’s now 10 years on and we’re all in our 30’s. I said to her once I don’t like the idea and I ignored his emails, but their response is that I’m lame for not being on board with it. I think ok they fancy each other, but there’s also oneupmanship and gloating from my sis, and “I can get both” from him. I don’t think I have a right to stop it. I can’t stop it. I feel disappointed in her, like I don’t matter in this and our sister relationship doesn’t matter. My dad thinks it’s funny. My mum said her sister did the same, it’s not a big deal etc. Sigh.

Thank you for making me laugh! 😆

Send your sister a copy of Secret Smile by Nicci French. cos any bloke who does this is a weirdo, even if he's not exactly the same weirdo as in the book.

I would honestly as this point just pretend to laugh and get as much in as you can.

”does he still do that… thing?”
”I bet the shitty skid marks piss you off too huh”
”I remember this time he had a massive bogie and none of us could tell him”

etc

I think, because you can't do anything about it and they are both dicks, (in fact your entire family sound weird and dysfunctional, to be honest) that I would handle it by laughing every time it comes up.

I'd make comments like, 'I can't believe you are dating Jack! He was SO shit in bed, apart from having the emotional maturity of a 14 year old'. Every time he's mentioned. Like @icallitasplodge I'd be thinking of really passive aggressive comments to make.

'OMG it's so funny that you are dating the bloke I got rid of. Don't you feel a bit pathetic that you're getting my cast offs? I'd be really embarrassed telling people. Do you say, 'He used to date my sister and I really fancied him?'

I'd do a LOT of piss taking.

That is so strange. She is very weird to think this is ok much less act on it.

I did, 3 children later we still adore each other and DH’s family are amazing 🥰

Or just giggle and say, yeah I could deal with such a small dick anymore.

Couldn’t*

Had this with my sister who went on a date with a man I dated, I just found it gross and hated the idea he could brag about sleeping with sisters 😑 I would never have done that to her.

@NamechangeMarch24 well you're the winner! Bloody good for you!!

🙌

Well at least you dodged the lack of morals gene!

Hold your head high!

This is how I felt totally betrayed, the worst part was I’d been sharing how I was feeling with my sister before I left him. I remember telling her to enjoy my sloppy seconds, not my finest moment.

@NamechangeMarch24 maybe not your finest moment, but fucking spot on! I applaud 👏 you!

Your sister sounds like a bitch who has probably done it deliberately to get one over on you - her reaction doesn’t sound like she’s a very caring or understanding sister.
I would hate it. Given your ex’s reaction too it sounds like they are as unlikeable as each other, so deserve each other. If it makes you feel uncomfortable I would avoid them as much as possible or tease her about it, like you don’t care. He’s an ex for a reason, and I would remind her of those reasons and laugh at the fact that she would put up with him.

Yanbu

Of all the men in all the world to date your sister chooses your ex.

@Alwaystired23
Agree how many single men are out there who are definitely not an ex of your sister she could have chosen?

How would she feel if it was the other way around 🤔
Something weird about it...

it's very very weird,embarrassingly so (for them)