To feel like three days is the worst of all worlds?

[Letstrytogetwarm]

I know a lot of people would love this but hear me out.

I am currently on maternity leave and not due back till June but feeling a bit despondent about my three days.

My salary is obviously part time. As the part time worker at home I feel like the children, housework, cooking and so on fall largely on me. DH is good. He does do his share but in all truth and honesty isn’t around much. In fairness this is also true even if I was to work full time so I guess that’s personal to me / us.

But at work three days is sort of the tipping point to being treated as full time in terms of level of responsibility and expectations. Yet I can’t really progress in my career either (in fairness don’t really want to!)

I know lots of people love it but I just - don’t really. Wondered if anyone else is similar.

Where I am 3 days wouldn't be the "tipping point to being treated full time" perhaps you need to keep reminding them you only work 3/5ths of the time others do so need to focus on your core job and can't take on more. Don't try to do it all at work.

But you say yourself you don't want to work more than that? And I'd say it's fair that you do more work at home if your DH world full time?

I work 4 days (last year was 5) in my main job (I also freelance but I can do that when I want) and it's made such a difference. But that's me.

@vanillawaffle it isn’t so much that. It’s more because I teach so in terms of classes most have me three days a week then another member of staff for one day. So things like reports, data, parents evenings and so on rightly fall into me. (And results stress!)

That sounds like a teaching/career issue rather than a "three day week" issue.

I've worked three and four day weeks in the past and I loved working three days. Unfortunately I can't survive off such a low income or I'd still be doing it now.

We both work three days and have done for quite a while, it works really well for us. It isn’t a fulltime workload, but for us it has been enough to progress when we have wanted to. Personally it also means we both have so much free time during the week the entire weekend is free for family things. If you only work three days, of course you’ll do more housework as a partnership means you should have as similar as possible amount of downtime.

Ah right it's teaching. Sorry no experience in that. Perhaps consider a different career where 3 days means 3 days?

It probably is @fieldsofbutterflies . I guess I feel like there’s only disadvantages to me working part time - less money and career prospects if I wanted that but same level of responsibility and stress!

I'm a teacher as well, but in fairness, don't share classes in that way.

But you must know that however many days you work in the school, all that paperwork is going to be there waiting anyway.

I think it depends on the job and whether the work can be prorated down to 60%. If not then I agree. I tried 3 days after my first, I work in a large bank. It was incredibly stressful. 4 days was better. I moved to a more senior role before DC2 was born and didn't even bother I just work 5 days and take flexibility as and when I need it. DH works 4 days though, which helps take the heat off at home! Basically, whatever you do it's tough!

I think that’s possibly school and maybe stage dependent. I think for two days chances are I wouldn’t have a ‘class’ in the way I do for three and so the paperwork falls (fairly or otherwise) to the other teacher. In other words if I have a year 7 class and I see them once and the other teacher sees them three times then that falls on them.

I work 3 days and agree with some of what you say. The thing about part time work is that you often are doing less of your actual job but retain the same amount of admin as the full time role. So your time to do your job itself is more pressured. I've really noticed this since dropping from 4 days to 3.

Do you have the kids the other 2 days? It's really hard to fit in housework when you do so I sympathise. I'm not sure what the solution is though. Personally I take lots of annual leave days ad hoc, so one day off a fortnight for example and catch up on stuff or relax so I have a break. I guess you can't do that as a teacher though.

I’m not a teacher but I see what you mean. 3 days seems to pause your career and then because I’m part time DH expects me to take responsibility for everything else. I don’t mind doing more than him but I resent having to do all the thinking/planning for the kids and the home.

3 days was my ideal amount of work. I spent one of my home days doing house stuff alongside childcare and the other doing nice stuff with the kids when they were pre school and even after, following pick up. Then dh worked full time and wasn't around to help much but to be fair I felt like the days I was home were there for me to sort the home stuff as I had the time and that was was what was fair. I just pushed back at work when they tried to overload me.
I'm back to full time now as kids are teens and I loathe it. I never have any time to do bloody anything

The thing about part time work is that you often are doing less of your actual job but retain the same amount of admin as the full time role. So your time to do your job itself is more pressured @Givemepickles you've articulated what I mean so well! And yes. Sometimes reports will be due Friday but I finish work on Wednesday so have to get them done by then!

I have children on the two days I’m not in work and I do struggle to get anything done. I end up having to try to do it when they’re in bed but that means upstairs rarely gets sorted. I’m hoping to get a cleaner but they can bring their own stresses.

I think it very much depends on the job. But yes, for me 3 days was the worst of all worlds. I have a DH who does more than his fair share with kids/house so it wasn't about that. I worked in an environment where things changed very quickly and it could be unpredictable. I always felt like I started my week being out of the loop and Day 1 of 3 was spent trying to catch up, so it was difficult to fully get on top of things. I have a few friends who work 3 days and often end up doing bits and pieces of work in evenings and weekends, as well as doing the lions share of housework and kid stuff.

Now I work 4 days term time only and I really love the balance it gives me. I have a day to myself in the week to get stuff done but I'm easily able to manage my workload in my contracted hours and never feel out of the loop. I'm not interested in promotion atm as I really enjoy what I'm doing but I could potentially take on a more senior role and keep my current working pattern in the future, which wouldn't be possible on 3 days.

I think some jobs definitely lend themselves to part time working more easily than others and in some environments there can be a lot of pressure to squeeze 5 days work into 3 which is a recipe for stress and burnout.

Most teachers I know who went part time have the same issue, OP.

A lot of them just accept that they work 5 days and only get paid for 3, but at least they're less stressed than when they were full time and working even more. It's a terrible state of affairs and a reason lots of my friends never went back to teaching or felt they had to stay full time after mat leave.

Not sure there's an answer, but you're not alone by any means.

Totally agree.
I'm a deputy manager in a similar role and also have to do some care for someone on my days off. It's incredibly stressful not knowing what's you're going back to after being off.
I job shared before and that had its own dramas!
Im thinking about changing jobs to a basic job where I don't have to be responsible for everything even if I'm not there!

It’s a relief it isn’t just me. I thought part time would be the best of both worlds and it really isn’t!

I prefer working 3 days to full time but I work in a high pressure job in social services so feel I wouldn't cope with more days with young children. They do try and give me more work than I can fit in but I have been very clear from the start in reminding managers I only work 3 days, and will detail what I have on that means I physically can't do more at present. It does feel a bit like the worst of all worlds in the sense that if I'm not at work rushing about I'm home rushing about doing housework and looking after DD but soon to be ex is so useless I know if I worked full time I would also be doing the bulk of the childcare and house stuff /mental load so wouldn't be any better off. I think it depends what job you do too.

I knew as soon as I read your OP that you're a teacher! I'm FT at the moment but see so many "part-time" colleagues ending up working on their days off and other staff getting sniffy if they don't respond to or do things until they're back in school. I think it's a problem in teaching in general where the duties encompass so much and can never really be finished, the clause in our working hours which I can't remember the exact wording of but essentially states "plus any additional hours to complete the job" doesn't help. And before anyone jumps on to teacher bash I'm sure there are other careers like this but I can only comment on the one I work in.

Ugh yes. I also used to get comments about swanning in. I’ve never swanned anywhere in my life!

Ah yes, I've worked in environments where you weren't allowed to be tired, overwhelmed or complain about your workload if you were part time.

Honestly this is why I stayed teaching full time. Full timers get the better timetable,
more chance of staying in the same room and more say on what happens in work (this is no dig at part time staff, just what I’ve observed). And at least I get the full salary.

Oh god yes … the loss of your classroom is crap. I was based mostly in the same classroom the year before I went on maternity leave but other teachers were constantly leaving it in a mess.

So much depends on the type of job. 3 days can be great if things don't need to move along when you are not there leaving you stressed and out of the loop.

I find it so much better now than 20 yrs ago when I had my 1st and went back 3 days. I was a corporate lawyer so not the most flexible or accommodating environment. I found clients were fine so long as I managed expectations. Colleagues though - another matter entirely. They fully expected me to attend meetings etc on non-work days ending up with me doing almost 5 days work when being paid for 3.

It is hard OP but I now do 4 and feel like I don't miss out work wise and also get a lovely day off. My kids are older though.

I would say don't worry too much about career progression right now when you have a baby. Your working career will be plenty long enough and just now with a baby it's perfectly fine to just keep things ticking.