To think it’s a lot?

[BurtTheDurt]

About a month ago DD15s headteacher passed away, very unexpected.
The school has been in mourning mode since then which is fair enough. His funeral is today so school have given them 2 days off, meaning they’re only doing 1 and a half days this week (Monday and half day Thursday before breaking up), ok fair play the teachers want to go that’s understandable.
But in the last month there’s been 2 gofundme’s set up by different teachers, 2 separate books of condolence (one at school, one at the local church), mountains of flowers left outside the school that are still there and have rotted and smell really bad, 2 memorial services in the school (one optional), a special assembly, and a tree planting ceremony. It’s a lot and takes a lot of time out of regular lessons. A friend of mine who doesn’t often comment on things like this said it’s all a bit Princess Di which I’m tending to agree with! AIBU to think this is getting out of hand and hoping after the holidays things calm down?

This sounds excessive to me, yes. Fine to close the school on the day of the funeral but the rest sounds a bit much.

Seems excessive yes. Why do they need to take 2 days off for the funeral?

2 separate GoFundMe is crazy! That just shouts bad communication between the teachers.

2 days closed for the funeral is excessive aswell. Understandably the staff and some students will want to attend and be upset, so closing for 1 day is reasonable. But- (this may sound harsh) the world keeps turning and kids should be in school learning. I assume most of the kids on the second day off will just be on consoles, screens etc.

The time off might be covering staffing issues caused by the death. The only bit I think shouldn't be happening is the rotting flowers. The Church book allows for a wider friendship group to add their message, you can't let randoms into the school to sign the book. The school book allows those whose faith might be at odds with entering the church, it suits everyone. Are the two GF me for different purposes?

One GFme was for repatriating his body and the other for his family, I dunno if it means anything but they didn’t make much money on either one (both were for £10k each)

Is his funeral being held at a long distance from his school? Just wondering why two days off are needed; unless an overnight stay is required, one day would allow the teachers to attend the funeral. I've known a few sad, untimely deaths of colleagues (in a corporate environment), and I've never heard of two days' leave being given for those who want to attend the funeral - the most would be a day; but more commonly a half day.

I dont think it sounds like too too much really but probably a little more than necessary. I would hope over Easter the flowers can be removed and as its a natural break in school afterwards things will be back to normal.

One for the funeral and one for the hangover

You mention the body being repatriated, is it possible that the HT belonged to a culture where the funeral process happens over 2 days or more? That might explain the 2 day closure.

It may also be that they need time to plan next steps as the sudden and unexpected loss of a HT means there will be a huge amount of work that needs to happen very quickly, involving multiple departments and external agencies, to get whoever is taking their place up to speed and ensure a smooth transition.

Perfectly reasonable to have a second book of condolence at the church so members of the public can pay their respects.

The flowers will need to be cleared, yes but that may not be top of anyone's priority list just now.

I work in a school and although I can completely see why you might regard the response as OTT, I am imagining if this was our HT. Leaving aside the huge operational and logistical challenges, the many competing issues that would need immediate attention from those of us on the Leadership Team, for several of us we would also be grieving the loss of a very close friend. A change of HT is a big thing for a school community even when it happens in a planned and predictable way. In these circumstances it would be incredibly difficult.

Depends on how good the school is in my mind.

For a brilliant school, I'd say that was ok. For a mediocre school, it's excessive.

So a persons life is more or less valuable depending on the quality of their workplace?

It’s hard to know whether it’s excessive without knowing the circumstances - an unexpected death of a well regarded colleague would impact the staff team significantly, and the students are likely to struggle too. There may be logistics you’re not aware of. A slow run into Easter isn’t a bad thing necessarily.

@Jellycatspyjamas no I'm not necessarily saying that, but the HT is the top dog and responsible for the quality of the workplace.

As a parent, I'd be annoyed if a poorly performing school was doing all the above.

That's excessive yes. Lovely for the family but disruptive for every child in the school. They haven't weighed things up great.

Is it in England? LA maintained or academy?

Unusual to close the school. I was an LA officer for many years and have been to many schools for a day/half a day with LA colleagues to keep it open whilst staff went to a funeral of a staff member (including Heads)

I have also had to step up several times to lead a school after the sudden death of a Head

From an academy point of view- had a staff death recently at one of ours and again staff from the Trust came in to cover during the funeral to allow staff to attend

I don't think the books of condolence are a problem, flowers left are to be expected and 1 assembly seems reasonable but anything else is a bit OTT. 2 days off for a funeral is definitely ITT. When I was teaching my best friend died and I was told I couldn't have 1/2 a day off to go. I did go and pointed out I had not had a single day off for 4 years and never requested any time off for funerals before but I was going for my best friend who had 2 little children I wanted to be there for.

It does sound like a lot but, fundraising aside, for many children it’s possible that this is the first death to impact them and they could be quite upset by it even if your child isn’t.

Could the two days be for a cremation and memorial service? Especially if the ashes are being released quite a long way away.

I cant imagine a whole staff will attend those- even if a 2 day event.

Was it a head who's been there a very long time so lots of ex-pupils will be wanting to share condolences?

I can understand the books of condolences, the flowers, the assemblies. People set Go Fund Mes up all the time for things like this. The tree is a nice touch

I could understand the 2 days off if it was the funeral and then the last day of term but this is a little odd. I think a full day is fine though, teachers and pupils aren't going to want to carry on like normal after a funeral, especially as for most children it will be their first experience with such things.

Given that for many of the children it is a year with exams such as GCSEs and maybe A levels, I agree with you.

I guess that the school will apply for special consideration for exam marking because of the death, given the nature and scale of mourning.

If this is the head who died overseas tragically recently then I do think it's a bit different. There will be lots of shock involved.

A month ago
In England in both maintained schools and academies the LA provides a specialist team including education psychologists who drop varying and go to a school to support

I think that we all know which school it is.
It is a very large MAT with access to significant resources.

Don't worry OP, I'm sure everyone will stop making such a fuss after the holidays. How inconvenient it must all be for you.

Re the GCSE and A Level students, they shouldn't be learning anything new at this stage. Two days off is two days' revision.

2 days off might be 2 day revision for some students but it is 2 days of lost learning and being on the streets for others.

In England in both maintained schools and academies the LA provides a specialist team including education psychologists who drop varying and go to a school to support

IME any support from the LA is often wildly different in reality to what is promised, regardless of the circumstances.

That may be your experience - mine differs.
I have experience of many LAs over many years having worked in local, regional and national roles - they all have specialist teams for staff member deaths.

I have been involved with both staff and multiple pupils deaths in the last month in 2 different LAS

Which LA do you think doesn't provide this?