To think it’s a lot?

[BurtTheDurt]

About a month ago DD15s headteacher passed away, very unexpected.
The school has been in mourning mode since then which is fair enough. His funeral is today so school have given them 2 days off, meaning they’re only doing 1 and a half days this week (Monday and half day Thursday before breaking up), ok fair play the teachers want to go that’s understandable.
But in the last month there’s been 2 gofundme’s set up by different teachers, 2 separate books of condolence (one at school, one at the local church), mountains of flowers left outside the school that are still there and have rotted and smell really bad, 2 memorial services in the school (one optional), a special assembly, and a tree planting ceremony. It’s a lot and takes a lot of time out of regular lessons. A friend of mine who doesn’t often comment on things like this said it’s all a bit Princess Di which I’m tending to agree with! AIBU to think this is getting out of hand and hoping after the holidays things calm down?

It’s not inconvenient for me in the slightest, what a weird take on this

No he died abroad and was brought back to England, I would very much doubt it’s a religious or cultural thing to have 2 days off.

It’s too much.

The books of condolence are lovely, one day off is understandable, two is a bit unreasonable (especially given how much schools are always telling us how damaging days off are 🙄). Flowers are fine for a bit but should have been in an appropriate place like school office, not at the gate, and the deputy head really needs to tell the caretaker to chuck them away now.

The gofundmes are a bit uncomfortable but I guess it depends where the money is going, if to widow / kids that’s great, if to build a commemorative thing that’s a bit odd.

The 2 school services, special assembly and tree planting is too much. They should have just done one of those. They aren’t allowing the kids to move on.

People deal with death in different ways. Some find this kind of fuss comforting. Others would find it very upsetting. Children should be able to go to school without walking past piles of rotting flowers and constantly being reminded of the death of a person who was not friend, not family, and they didn’t even know very well.

I think the headteacher would be doing a real facepalm over all this.

Was this at Rickstone's?

It depends on the head and his relationship with the school and the students.

I worked as an outside provider in a school with an absolutely amazing head teacher. He was so involved and invested in every student, and genuinely loved. He died unexpectedly and tragically at the school one evening and was found by his deputy.

The students and staff were devastated. I can't remember how many days the school was closed, but it had to happen. The senior management team had to meet for crisis planning, staff counselling and training. Of course they closed for the funeral, because all of the staff and the students were there. Supporting those kids was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. So if the staff and kids needed extra time or a tree or a fundraiser to feel better, I sure as hell wasn't going to begrudge them that.

It sounds like a lot but it’s not really when you think about the shock, disruption and grief that the whole staff team will be going through. It’s a couple of days until the end of term, I’m sure they will do more to move forward after the holiday. Although schools very much work in their years, so I wouldn’t expect it to really be put behind them until September.