What would you think/say if you ILs kept saying this?

[Luckymeeeee]

Every time my in laws visit my fil likes to tell me how lucky I am to have dh.

You're lucky dh can cook, you're lucky dh can do DIY, you're lucky dh is a good dad, you're lucky dh doesn't get drunk each weekend, you're lucky dh earns good money (I have a good job too), you're lucky dh is so big and strong and good looking.

Usually followed up by how shit sister in laws dh is (he's not that bad) and how sil (dh's sister) would love to have someone like dh around.

What am I supposed to say? Of course I love dh but do I need to hear this every 5 minutes?

It’s a shame some of us have lost parents so they sadly cannot shout our praises anymore

some people don’t see parents or get on with them

quite an insensitive comment really

I remember when Princess Kate was told this by a member of the public .She replied quickly "Hes lucky to have me!"

Sounds like my FIL. Every time he comes over he has to tell me how wonderful DH is. If DH has cooked dinner, he goes on about it like it’s rocket science. When I made a cake and commented that I hoped it tasted ok, I got the comment “it’s just a cake” with a look of contempt, after he purposefully chose the shop bought over the homemade cake. This is horrible of me, but because he makes such a thing of it, when he says how proud he is of DH I’m tempted to say “well someone has to be”.

‘I love him and I appreciate him. It’s good to be in a mutually respectful and hard working marriage but I’m not lucky, it’s the bare minimum partners can do for one another.’

Every time he did it I would just counter it back on him.

You're lucky dh can cook

Oh, are you no good at cooking? I didn't think you were THAT bad!

you're lucky dh can do DIY

Oh, is it MIL that does the DIY at yours? Men don't seem as capable these days do they.

you're lucky dh is a good dad,

Oh, do you wish you'd done some things differently yourself?

you're lucky dh doesn't get drunk each weekend

Drinking problems are rife, aren't they? Are you trying to cut back?

Linking it to him instead of letting him use it as an excuse to bitch about someone else will soon make him stop.

He's lucky to have a wife who puts up with his parents who go on and on and on and on about how wonderful their son is every time they see her.

He's lucky to have a wife who puts up with his in-laws sexism.

I'd just smile and agree with him. He'll get fed up eventually. My MiL is always telling DH he's lucky to have me and gives a meaningful look at my BiL who is single and says she wishes BiL could find a lovely wife like me. It makes me cringe because whenever BiL is there I know she'll say something. BiL must hate me. My DH always jokes if we ever split up she'd disown him to stay friendly with me.

I'd either start saying "did you teach him that" or something uncomfortable like "that's not all hes good at 😉"

“I know! And I’m so lucky in my parents-in-law too”

do it deadpan so they won’t know if you’re joking or not.

I remember so well, when after meeting my PILS for the 1st time, and I asked putative husband if he thought they'd liked me, he said:
"Oh yes, they liked that you were bright enough to have a career, but not that it was enough to be a threat to mine".

FIl used to say how all women he knew, in his profession, were expected to give up work when they married.
Just as I had got a senior sister's post at The John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford.

To be fair to him, he was of his time, and a wonderful, gentle and kind father-in-law. I always adored him and had great respect for (the rest) of his wisdom.

Are you sure fil isn’t saying the same to sil’s dh and slagging you off

I always like to ask the question Why?

Why is it lucky dh can cook?
I would be dissecting the word lucky and what it actually means as opposed to dh being taught to read and following a recipe

I do get hung up on words people use.
I don’t think it is lucky someone can do something they have been taught to do. So using the word “lucky” makes no sense and just saying DH can cook is just stating what we already know and repeating the same sentence would have me question if he is suffering from memory problems

I’d just say “we’re lucky to have each other” or “DH is lucky to have me too” some short phrase you can keep repeating until they shut up.

Ha my MIL apologised to me for not training him up and making him lazy by doing too much for him. Made me laugh anyway

Theyre proud of their son not being a lazy layabout like some blokes. Be sure your sons are me. You can be proud of too

I get this from strangers because my husband is a very talented performer. If he's ever around to hear it, he jumps in to tell them that he's lucky to have me etc. Does your husband ever stick up for you and tell them he feels lucky? It can feel a bit hollow when you always have to blow your own trulpet!!

I get this and it drives me absolutely mad.

My favourite is ‘You’re so lucky he helps so much with the children’. HIS children.

I work more hours than DH and earn more money than DH. Yet somehow they conveniently forget this and consider it a marvel that he looks after his own children sometimes (I still am the ‘default parent’ and we still have the traditional mental load imbalance but explaining that concept to my ILs would blow their minds).

Well yes, we make a good team.. smile, rinse, repeat..

I know, but he does have nice friends (he just also thinks my friends are nice). And he’s literally right I am lucky to have friends, just as OP is lucky to have a nice DH… but it comes with implications especially when you’re told it every time.

Yep, you’ve said before 🙂
Yep, you’ve said before 🙂
Yep, you’ve said before 🙂

Why don’t you say “yes, he’d be perfect if his parents weren’t so boring”

or

“there’s no need to sell him to me, I’ve bought him already”

The constant praising of the child is problematic I think. My inlaws did this - eg they praised (now ex) DH cooking but would eat my offering in near silence. When we divorced the impact of the type of parenting really showed. Ex's self belief was too high so he couldn't believe that I had contributed equally to our marriage in finances or doing. It made it a lot harder to negotiate/ compromise. But I love a pp suggestion of polite but ridiculous suggestions.

We’re lucky to have each other and brightest smile.

“Well he has to have plenty of good points to balance out the bad ones with my in-laws”.

Next time just say yes am lucky he's great in bed also, that should shut them up.

This is their way of passive aggressively putting you down. Tell your husband to stand up for you and say I am lucky also and we are a good team and can you stop going on and on as boring now.

Just tell them dh is the lucky one as you are shit hot in bed... And just stare right at them..