What makes you middle class?

[Singlemum90]

So a comment from my mother a few years ago has stuck with me ever since then really. When I was no longer a single mum, and found myself a little less skint, she said 'oh it's so good now you're just a nice middle class mum, I'm so proud of you'

Aside from her clearly looking down at me before this, and deciding class was what defined how she felt about me- I have often wondered what made her decide I was middle class at this point.

How do you define it? (I feel it's very subjective) Is it what family you are born into? Your income?(And what income makes the 'classes'? Is it a specific job type? The way you stick your finger out when you drink tea?
Or is it just a shitty way to divide people and how they feel about themselves?

I say lavatory. Or bog.

My income, my lifestyle, my sensibilities. I actually consider myself upper middle class although my income doesn't really put me in that bracket. My education level and tastes, however, do. Also my accent, I sound even posher than I am.

I thought proper aristocrats consider the royal family to be terribly middle class.

This is the most useful definition. Class is mostly about assets and how they are preserved.

I think the reason class distinctions/indicators continues to fascinate so many is because of the super wealthy elite upper class group. And this irks me. I'm not a socialist as I'm to much a product or my capitalist upbringing, but I wish that top group didn't exist.

My working class mum hated me getting an education. She said "you can get Al the degrees you like but you'll never be more than a little working class girl."

Sharp elbows.

I've just done the quiz above and by ticking the fact I know a farm worker, it moves me from Technical middle class to elite.

Quite how me knowing the local cowman makes me elite is beyond me. My ds went to primary school with his dd. 🤔

Well, my parents never said that quite so explicitly, but they would absolutely agree — they tried to get me to leave school at 15, and tried to dissuade me from applying to university because ‘we can’t afford it’ (era of grants) and ‘it’s only for rich people’. Fortunately, I didn’t listen.

My 12 year old asked me about class on the weekend. Tricky question to answer (as evidenced by all the differing views posted.) I said that class is in the eye of the beholder and very subjective. It's not just job, not just cultural capital, not just income, not just accent etc. I think he wished he hadn't asked.

Growing up I lived what would be seen as a middle class life. I had a pony, ski trips, lived in a 4 bedroom detached house with the mortgage paid off. My DM worked for her fathers company and my DF worked abroad as a radiographer for an oil company. Unfortunately neither parent actually parented me. They never ever bothered with encouraging my education or giving me any kind of life skills. I worked from the age of 13 to provide for myself as aside from big gestures people on the outside could see I had to be financially self sufficient.

They didn't know any of my friends names, didn't know I was sleeping around at the age of 15 and had no. Idea I was addicted to drugs before I left school. I had no support from home in choosing which GCSE's to take or thinking of the future and no support from school because they believed because of my middle class family background I would be receiving that kind of support at home so I slipped through the net even though I probably had the ability to go much higher if I had realised the importance of education.

Ended up on the streets at 17 addicted to drugs, pregnant at 18 and have had to rebuild my life from there. I'm now a single mum to 2 children and have been single for 16 years since I was 22, because I want my children to have my full focus. I work a minimum wage job, as with my education level I cannot get any further. I scrimp and save and my house is a run down mess and I struggle to get by BUT I couldn't be happier. The father of my children was NC and ultimately died in his 30's of a heroin overdose. My Daughter is heading to uni in September to do a degree she is passionate about and my son is very focussed on what he wants to do next after GCSE's, we have a very close bond and are a well adjusted happy family, I encourage and take an interest in their lives and interests and friends.

On paper with my start in life I should have a successful career and a be financially stable and getting my swooshy glossy hair done in an actual salon not me doing myself with the kitchen scissors. On paper my children because of their start in life should be 3 kids deep in a council house on benefits on 20 fags a day and a drink problem.

What class am I? What class are my children?

According to that quiz, I'm established middle class because I own my own home, have savings, do certain activities and know certain people.

if you are more likely to go skiing than a pool/beach holiday in Europe with access to an English breakfast.

IMO anyone who claims to have “upper middle class tastes” is most definitely not upper middle class.

@UpsideLeft , those immigrants aren’t working class because they lack money though. Valuing education and supporting as best you can your children to do well is a quintessential ‘middle class’ attitude.

What did it make King Charles then when he was a single parent?

I don't understand the British obsession with class.
Who cares what ' class ' you are so long as you're a decent person.

These are my thoughts on it too.

To me it's definitely a mix of upbringing, current circumstances, your interests, and partially your employment. I think it's complicated, multi faceted, and there are so many elements that go into it.

But also agree that it doesn't matter at the end of the day or as the poster who I quoted says, it's a load of tosh!

By that definition, almost everyone is middle class.

I should clarify my comment actually - It doesn't matter to me but it unfortunately does still seem to matter in today's society.

Class is a state of mind and is not connected to wealth - plenty of pauper aristos and filthy rich barrowboys- except when people are actively social climbing.

Social climbers fall into two categories- people genuinely trying to better themselves by aiming upwards and set their children up with better lives (they can't change their class but can change their children's) and assholes. The assholes anchor their entire identity on how they compare to others, and constantly want to find reasons why other people are beneath them, less than them, not as good as them etc. It's the difference between being inspired by others and belittling others to make you feel better about yourself.

I'm afraid OP that your DM falls into the latter category. She really does sound like a total asshole.

What makes you say that? Perhaps I should have said 'activities' rather than tastes.

I was born WC but now consider myself MC as I have 2 degrees and have different values to my roots.

In my head I am both. It is a feeling.

@LovelyTheresa because upper middle class tastes aren't just more expensive bottles of wine and fancier shit to post on social media as most working class/ lower middle class people think. Tastes aren't really class based. It's a state of mind you can't really fake.

I’m picturing a hyacinth bucket situation over here.