What makes you middle class?

[Singlemum90]

So a comment from my mother a few years ago has stuck with me ever since then really. When I was no longer a single mum, and found myself a little less skint, she said 'oh it's so good now you're just a nice middle class mum, I'm so proud of you'

Aside from her clearly looking down at me before this, and deciding class was what defined how she felt about me- I have often wondered what made her decide I was middle class at this point.

How do you define it? (I feel it's very subjective) Is it what family you are born into? Your income?(And what income makes the 'classes'? Is it a specific job type? The way you stick your finger out when you drink tea?
Or is it just a shitty way to divide people and how they feel about themselves?

I don't know how relevant these labels are in todays society. Most would agree about the upper class - the landed gentry who use their estates to generate their income, but their wealth is often outstripped by business magnates like Alan Sugar, Richard Branson, Dyson, Ratcliffe and so on, so even that old label isn't perhaps as clear cut as it once was.

The middle class question is possibly more interesting. Some will argue its financial, others cultural, others upbringing. University educated people with great degrees find themselves struggling, and builders businesses take off. Does avocado for brunch v. a greasy spoon fry up determine it? Or is it the car parked outside the cafe? I haven't got a clue. I'd like us to free ourselves from these labels and do the things that we enjoy, and associate with the people we like without concern about what category we'll fall into as a result.

I think the reason it is discussed so much on here is because the classes used to be clearly defined but now it's more of a blur so people have to figure out the acceptably middle class jobs/hobbies/clothes/decor/words/opinions so that they aren't thought of as less than someone else.

I think the COL crisis will exacerbate this somewhat.

I'm not too proud to admit I'm a working class/lower middle class sharp-elbowed Hyancinth Bucket. Not saying I'm proud of it just that I can admit it!

@RegretMisery

As for doctors. Most I know are working part time hours, still getting enough, pension contributions… while hubby works in senior position and/or in private practice. All driving enormously expensive cars and in very nice homes.

Incomparable to working class and honestly it’s offensive to suggest the comparison.

Your use of the word “supper” says it all. Working class say “tea”, middle class say “dinner “ and upper middle say “supper” unless they are “dining”
Or so I’ve read…
😂

>Endless holidays
>Sociable hours
>Average wage

I'm a teacher and I can't be arsed to roast you but this is definitely not the case.

I think level of education is key. I'm the grand-daughter of a coal miner. My parents and grandparents had no choice but to leave school in their mid-teens and go straight out to work. I had the good fortune to be able to go to University in the 90s, before tuition fees kicked in, and have a professional career. I don't think I could claim to be working class anymore, even though that's how I grew up.

That’s not upped middle.
Upper middle is having gone to an elite boarding school and watching polo matches / having family with a large pike in the country with grouse shooting or similar

I'm sure people have already said it but I think it's what you're born into. I was completely poor growing up, went to university on a full scholarship, worked, saved, bought a house, got married and now I live a very middle class life. My kids are middle class because of what I have and the way we live now, which still amuses me a little bit sometimes because I still feel 100% working class.

@RegretMisery

Most of my family are too, including both parents.

Having grown up with this vs my DH and his family who are working class.

It is worlds apart!!!

Another thing that I think confuses it is that the different tribes of middle class look down one one another.

E.g. the mums who likes their clothes and decor to be all neutrals and forvm their children to do traditional middle class hobbies will look down on the ones who wear Lucy & Yak dungarees and like their children to do quirky hobbies and they in turn will think the neutral crowd are boring and unimaginative.

Both will probably think their way is more middle class.

I agree with PP’s suggesting these labels are pretty useless in a modern society and economy.

It’s interesting how many of the ‘what makes you middle class?’ responses require conforming to an Anglo-Saxon class norm.

I would imagine that very many of the unarguably middle class families of West African, South Asian etc. heritage would not fit many of the ‘norms’ cited here as class indicators. My Nigerian heritage friend (a partner at a City law firm) and her husband (a surgeon) would certainly ‘fail.’

@RegretMisery

For example - my DH can be gone from 5am - 8pm. And May work 10 days in a row like this.

Totally different.

Times have changed since your parents were teachers, you know most of us are on a mass exodus from the profession because of appalling pay and conditions?

The fathers job? What happens if the father is a welder and the mother is a clinical psychologist?

Sorry to get technical on you, but if they have two jobs with 60-70 hours they must be offered a pension scheme under auto-enrolment, and the employer must contribute.

I think 70 hours a week to be working class is a bit of an odd statement, I'm sure there are people out there that do, but 6 X 12 hour days is far from typical.

According to a very funny book I read ( “watching the English “) “ pardon”, is lower middle class. The upper classes and working classes say “what” and the middle classes say “sorry”.

@RegretMisery

Im not that old. Only recently retired and several family still in the profession at higher level. Going on skiing holidays, lovely lifestyle.

I’m sorry that wages have stagnated but that is the same across the board.

It still is really not remotely comparable to a working class job and lifestyle. Ludicrous to suggest so.

Underclass

Having capital makes you Middle Class. Having capital and a private income you can live on makes you Upper Middle Class.

I know that. But I don’t like “what” I prefer sorry or pardon. But I think it’s a quick indication that I am WC through and through and having my kids speak nicely and turned out well is part of that.

This. 100%.

yes in this hilarious book I read by an anthropologist, the author quotes upper class children saying “mummy says pardon is worse than f**k”. And as for “serviette” 😂

@Everanewbie the people’s pension and the like is extremely minimal…. A joke.
By contrast to teacher parent who, before the age of 60, received redundancy payment and lump sum (both 5-6 figures), plus comfortable middle class pension.

FIL is still working a decade beyond retirement age, in fact all my DH family are in this position. With COL they are all having to work crazy hours… whereas they used to work 40-50.

Most of my teacher friends are living an upper working/lower middle class lifestyle. Almost all of them were brought up firmly working class. I’d consider most of us working class, but most of our children middle class.