I have posted before about my group of friends (around 12 people) who all seemed to go off me and then just cut me off like I was nothing when I went travelling.
Long story short - one of the girls was treating one of the boys awfully, and I called her out on it. I don’t condone this but a lot of the group were also talking about this behind her back. All of a sudden, everyone acts really off with me and, when I went travelling, suddenly all unfollowed/blocked me one by one. I was devastated and crying every day for a while as I had no explanation for this. This was around 6 months ago.
A few weeks ago, I decided to text one of the girls and we decided to meet for coffee and explain our sides of the story.
When everyone started acting off with me, I asked some people about it but they denied it. Another member of the group told me that they had started a new group chat without me.
i don’t deal with things very well so i just felt hurt, felt that everyone hated me. So I went to a few events but was quiet. I withdrew myself and felt paranoid so i eventually just went home.
The friend i met up with told me that she essentially stopped being friends with me because she got the impression that I just didn’t want to be friends with her anymore because I was acting off and withdrawn. She said everyone else did the same. That was hurtful.
Then, just as I went travelling, my “best friend”, let’s call her Beth, blocked me out of nowhere. I was so so so so confused. Then everyone else did the same. Each day I’d have a new unfollower from the group. I felt so hurt and confused. No one gave me an explanation, nothing. Not one word.
The friend I met up with told me the reason why Beth blocked me. She was apparently angry and fuming. Then, she got everyone else to follow suit and stop being friends with me. It was the most petty and unbelievable reason ever, that could easily have been explained by me had somebody asked me.
Beth took something as me being spiteful towards her; but it was far from it. And I didn’t even know for 6 months.
I explained the whole thing and the friend understood. But no one asked!
The friend told me I’d dealt with everything wrong, that I shouldn’t have just withdrawn and let my anxiety get the better of me. She genuinely believed that I was being spiteful to Beth and she decided to also cut me off because she “didn’t need the drama in her life”.
The coffee ended with her telling me she doesn’t hold a grudge, but that we’ll never go back to the way we were and that no one else wants to be friends either.
I went home from this coffee in bits and sobbing. I felt so confused:
- I was so anxious that everyone hated me that I withdrew myself from the group sometimes. If I had a friend who did this, the first thing I’d do is check in and ask if they were ok. Not a single person did this.
- everyone believed that I did something spiteful to Beth - which I didn’t. But NOT ONE person asked for my side of the story, and everyone believed I was spiteful.
- Every single person in the group cut me off with no explanation or care. My friendship clearly meant nothing to anyone
I am honestly really cut up here. I have no other friends and I just feel like giving up on my life if I’m completely honest. I have a lovely DP who said I deserve better. But I am honestly so so so down and deflated. Am I being dramatic here? And how on earth do I move on from this?