...to want to go "GGGRRRR" when total strangers say "Ooooh, you've got your hands full"

[gigglewitch]

I have three children. THREE. (not thirteen). They are mostly well behaved. Usually the youngest is in a pram. [thus appearing well behaved, rather than scarpering at top toddler run speed] They are 7, 4 and 2. Ok, they're all small-ish for their age so may look younger than they are, but why oh why do middle aged / older ladies still feel they have to say the nonsense that they do? Am getting mighty sick of it.
BTW, anybody got any good one-liners to say back?

Tell them that three is a doddle. When you have all eight with you then it's hard work

like it.

It drives me potty too! The only times I don't mind it is when it's accompanied by some kindly-meant help to get off buses etc. I feel like they're looking at me and thinking 'poor her to be landed with so many children' rather than 'lucky her to have been blessed with so many children'. Like you, I only have 3 but then maybe the people making the comments only had one and never got to the point where they could learn that one is actually a piece of cake when you have had two children! I know I found one tough when I only had one, and found two tough when I only had two but if I'm ever without one of my current three children, I think 'blimey - two is easy!' . If you've never been there, you can't know how you grow to learn how to manage multiple children.

Clare
x

YABU - they're just being friendly.

Definitely unreasonable, they don't mean anything by it, they are just making conversation.

I think you're being grumpy and miserable,they're only making conversation .

Just say "no,not at all they're a pleasure"

It's not meant as a criticism of your parenting skills when someone says that to you though

Hang on! I don't think it's being unreasonable at all to feel like going 'grr' - it would be unreasonable to actually respond like that though. The OP didn't say she did grr at people, just that it annoyed her and, quite frankly, it is mildly annoying, just like many, many other comments made to parents and parents-to-be can be mildly annoying. Anyone with any sense of ettiquette (sp!) will just reply politely and shrug it off and then moan to their friends later...as happens on here!

It can be annoying when you hear the same thing over and over again, especially if it is a bit banal. But as other posters have said, people are just trying to be friendly. I think generally comments like this are meant in the spirit of 'well done for coping so well'.

Would you prefer that everybody ignored you? I like it when people say something about my children and it would be hard for a complete stranger to come up with something entirely original.

I agree with larkaspree.

Yes I take it in the "well done for coping" spirit too. Of course now I'll be thinking oh god they feel sorry for me and think I can't cope

I can understand it being annoying but I think people are just making conservation and like larkaspree making a comment that you are doing well. Its when you have three kids playing up like kids sometimes do and people just give you dirty looks as if you are being a terrible mother thats when people are being horrible but it sounds like these people are just being nice. sometimes its better to just smile and let it go over you head and get on with things. If you come back with a one liner you are just going to make someone else feel crap for the day when they were only trying to be nice and we will prob all see them posting on aibu.

I can better all of ya i took my lo then aged 1.7 for some new shoes in john lewis adn he went in to a 'bit' of a paddy cos he wanted to look at the washing machines opposite the shoe dept so was wriggling and squiggling whilst feet were trying to be measured to whish shoefitter turned to me and said 'i think here is a case for supernaany' through pursed lips needless to say we left pretty hurriedly

bambam she shouldn't be working in a children's department if she hasn't seen the odd strop or two! Perfectly normal if you ask me, I too would rather look at washing machines than her cat's bum mouth.

What's the problem though. Unless they are accompanying it with a comment along the lines of 'you obviously can't cope with them' and a sucking lemons look.

It's like commenting on the weather - a meaningless but harmless attempt to be friendly.

Oh dear, I've said that. I only ever meant in kindly and with admiration. I have 2 and find that hard enough some days....

kitbit that's what i thought once we had gotten home but at the time i just wanted to leave but lol at cat bums mouth

We had a shoe fitter who said, during DD's fitting, oh don't worry..I know how to deal with autistic kids!!!! DD isn't autistic, but even if she was, wtf???

We bought the shoes (mainly cos I was so embarrassed about dd's behaviour at the time) but I've never gone back.

gigglewitch, I'm probably that middle aged woman (I hate to admit it) but I am always in awe of women with more than one nipper in tow and feel like I have to say something, so I've probably done the innocuous (unmeaningly offensive) comments!!!!!!

I say this sometimes but I mean it in awe ..as in how do you manage to get out of the house with three, when i struggle to get out with just one. I mean it in admiration

i get this all the time - i'm a childminder and my mindees don't look like me or ds - in some case different ethnic groups so i get
"ooohh you've got your hands full/work cut out" accompanied with confused/disapproving stares - especially when i have a couple of kids of similar age in double buggy.

YABU . people are just being kind and conversational

Lighten up

They are just making smalltalk, trying to be kind, as hoshish says

lol @ lighten up I am so light that I'm flying on my broomstick, of course

good to have started a healthy debate on here... I never actually "grrr" aloud, i smile sweetly (probably more like inanely?) and move on - quickly! It never really occurred to me til i read perpetual and lupo's posts that it might be meant in a complimentary way, it tends to come across that going round a supermarket or whatever with three kids is insane / not normal / bad, but when you've got to get food, shoes, undies and the multitude of stuff a family needs then there isn't exactly an alternative.