Neighbour telling my Dd she has beautiful, blue eyes

[Knockoffminieggs]

Is this weird or just nice?

Dd, 5 was stood at our gate waiting for her little neighbour pal, when the guy across the road (married, two kids of his own) was in his car and shouted out of the window to her. When she came in, I casually asked what he’d said, she got cross at me and said she didn’t want to tell me 🤷🏻‍♀️
Anyway, she ended up saying he said she had beautiful, blue eyes and looked like she didn’t like that.
Now when she’s in the garden and he comes out to go somewhere, she runs in the house

Is this weird?

Agreed

@KomodoOhno What does that emoji mean and you agree with what? Just say your point?

It clearly unnerved her. I think it would be great to reinforce that you're really pleased she could tell you that something made her feel uncomfortable and scared, and that if anything like that ever happens again, to always tell Mummy because you would really want to know.

People have commented on my ‘beautiful blue eyes’ all my life. I often lack confidence about my physical appearance, so I love the compliment.

Omg so sorry you had to deal won’t hay that’s so traumatic?!

This 100%. If she feels uncomfortable then that's all that you need know. The strength of our instincts is beaten out of us (metaphorically speaking) as we get older.

I would just keep distance and an eye on neighbour.

all of this

I don't like that he did that to be honest and I wouldn't trust him e.g. wouldn't let my kid go round his alone to play with his kids but the cultural aspect does make it hard to judge as I can only see this through my own eyes. I think in this culture (as in UK) sensible men don't approach small unrelated children and start paying them compliments. I know blonde/blue eyed kids can get a lot of attention in some cultures.

Bit odd to shout from a car, but if you're in the Middle East for example it wouldn't be uncommon to comment on a child's blue eyes and all adults (Inc men) tend to interact with children, even if they don't know them, more than we're used to in UK.

It’s a shame though that men are seen as suspicious automatically.

Well ones that shout through car windows are also creepy knobs as well as being thought of as suspicious.

When did a woman last do that? Would any woman do that? I most definitely wouldn't.

Thank you, it was and the only reason I brought it up was so if her daughter was really uncomfortable op wouldn’t just brush it off by thinking nothing could have happened - if I hadn’t called for my mum she would have thought nothing could possibly have happened because she was always there. But obviously hopefully it’s nothing like that!

We’re in another country and blue eyes are rareish-could maybe be just this

I feel like this is the first thing to mention?!

While usually I'd agree, I feel the "male" comments are out of place here. A woman neighbour could easily have shouted the same from across the street.

When I used to stay in a horribly godforsaken place in the UK ("nice" but I was the only East Asian for miles compared to London and other cities) older British people of all genders would randomly come up and shout/say weird "compliments" to me too...

Wouldn’t say it was necessarily a weird thing to say but I think the shouting it out the car part made it a bit odd!

On all the "men should never talk to little children alone" – but you wouldn't object as much, if at all, to a known female neighbour speaking kindly to your child – I also want to add that male pedo awareness / caution is (quite rightly) VERY heightened in the UK. This was something I found very striking.

A large % of pedos are male, BUT this doesn't mean a large % of males are pedo! In other cultures, most normal men interact freely with children. (Good and bad points to this)

Gender aside, British children also live in an extremely individual bubble compared to communal cultures, eg Japan and other countries. (Again, just observing not judging)

So really the cultural context is quite relevant, he's probably not just some kind of entitled twat or worse, perv licking his lips at the sight of a young girl.........

It's quite usual in some countries, gender irrelevant

Are you in India?

My daughter’s eyes were a very bright clear blue when she was young and with her dark hair really stood out so strangers always commented. They almost always said the same thing- hasn’t she got beautiful eyes. My daughter grew to hate it and turn her head away or on occasion she said “No bum bum” to the strangers which I did find very funny. She obviously found it a bit uncomfortable having people commenting on her appearance and I’m guessing your daughter feels the same.

My initial thought was that it was a bit creepy, but since you said you are not in the Uk but in a country where brown eyes are the norm, then it sounds a lot less strange.

Could her reaction be because she is getting a lot of attention (positive/Negative) generally at school/out and about re her eyes etc? People commenting a lot could be making her self conscious

We’re in another country and blue eyes are rareish-could maybe be just this

FFS 🙄

@Ohlookwhoitis What?

You didn't think to put that relevant information in your opening post?

@Ohlookwhoitis I added it a bit later, I didn’t think initially, no…I’m human, make mistakes

maybe she doesn't like to think she is different-looking than the local children.
i had no idea what i or anybody else looked like at that age, and would have been non-plussed if someone had referred to it.