Best nonsense advice you have ever received?

[Penfoldseyebrows]

We all know about those sage words of wisdom that you should live your life by, but what are the throw away nuggets of knowledge that have made a much bigger impact on your life than you would expect?

I'd like to share mine which may seem blindingly obviouss to some but undid everything I knew about laundry and literature.

1. It's OK if you don't wear matching socks.

Even when I would regularly leave the laundrette run until needimg to wear my knickers inside out was becoming a real possibility, this would never even have occurred to me. I am pleased to have passed this life lesson onto my children.

1. Never waste time reading a bad book.

I felt morally obliged to the author to finish a paperback once I"d started. I would count the numbers of pages left instead of concentrating on the words on the page. After all, if someone can commit months, years or even their life to this little bound document. then surely I could manage a few more hours to finish it. But of course, the truth is that the writer has achieved their goal and the book would be much better passed onto someone else who may appreciate it than it guilt tripping me from my bedside cabinet. I've yet to embrace it though. I still haven't accepted that no matter how many times I try, I just can't get past chapter 5 of Wuthering Heights. I'm halfway through How To Be Both and I know I should apply this rule to it but I just can't bring myself to. Maybe I'll wade through one more chapter...

So what are your small inspiring messages that have improved your life?

Edit, read the thread title and ran with nonsense advice...rather than the kind of advice set out in the op.

"Brother, Mother any other sucker. They're still fuckin guns and they still fire fuckin bullets."

Sorry, your boss is a Lock Stock fan.

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.

It’s ok to run the dishwasher twice/lay down to wash in the shower/buy pre prepared vegetables etc - this is something I have written on the fridge for when my ND life kicks the stuffing out of me.

Always wear good quality, comfortable underwear 🙂

Wear underwear that fits, not necessarily your size.

If your life is a play then you are lead character, never forget it.

never regret things you’ve done - just learn from your mistakes and move on

never part with an argument,

learn to agree to disagree

my mums favourite she lived her life by it -—— No matter what - dignity at all times

If you stick on a fancy pair of earrings, people won't notice your greasy hair shoved back in a ponytail, and that you haven't showered. This probably only works on Teams/Zoom calls.

As children we had to go to the toilet before we went out. No ifs and buts and we have done the same with our children and it made life so much easier when out and about.

Children can walk from a young age. No cumbersome buggy boards or scooters etc are needed when you have another child in a pram. Again it makes life easier.

If you want to get things done, get up early. You can achieve so much more if you start the day being productive.

If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
You know the answer to all your worries already.

It's all part of life's rich tapestry.

If you’ve got a difficult decision to make, set a time in the future - it could be 5 hours time or 5 days time - and try and forget about it until that time arrives. You will then know what your decision is. It’s based on the subconscious doing the work, of course, but works incredibly well for me.

Don’t ever promise to keep a secret. Ask the person trying to tell you not to do so as you can’t guarantee you can keep it. You won’t know what the secret is in advance and it might be something you have to tell someone else.

If he loves you, you will know it. If he doesn't love you, you will just feel confused and upset.

CYA - Cover your ass. (mainly at work).

If you have no intention of doing something that an unreasonable person asks of you, say "let me think about that and get back to you"

Wear clothes which are a size larger than you, so people always think you have lost weight. It's what the ladies in Paris do, apparently.

Never trust a man with a moustache

Ignore a bully.
No.
"Punch" back in any way!

😂

I remember Penelope Keith, years ago, saying that her father had taught her that if she was upset "go & wash your face & clean your shoes"

It's really bizarre but it has worked for me sometimes!

Hit them back twice as hard! (By whatever measure).

My (long-gone) DDad had loads of odd sayings, some of them seemed faintly biblical in origin🤷‍♀️
An old favourite of his was something like “you have to hold a candle to the devil to get what you want” which meant you had to put up with or go along with something or somebody that you didn’t like, in order to get the end result that you wanted. It’s surprising over the years how often it turns out to be correct!!

Don't have an anaesthetic before a filling, the needle is worse (yeah, right, dad).

Ouch
Hope you didn't listen to him

I forgot that one, i think it works wonders to go wash your face when upset, it sort of grounds you and you can think afresh. I often tell me granddaughters to wash away their tears