Best nonsense advice you have ever received?

[Penfoldseyebrows]

We all know about those sage words of wisdom that you should live your life by, but what are the throw away nuggets of knowledge that have made a much bigger impact on your life than you would expect?

I'd like to share mine which may seem blindingly obviouss to some but undid everything I knew about laundry and literature.

1. It's OK if you don't wear matching socks.

Even when I would regularly leave the laundrette run until needimg to wear my knickers inside out was becoming a real possibility, this would never even have occurred to me. I am pleased to have passed this life lesson onto my children.

1. Never waste time reading a bad book.

I felt morally obliged to the author to finish a paperback once I"d started. I would count the numbers of pages left instead of concentrating on the words on the page. After all, if someone can commit months, years or even their life to this little bound document. then surely I could manage a few more hours to finish it. But of course, the truth is that the writer has achieved their goal and the book would be much better passed onto someone else who may appreciate it than it guilt tripping me from my bedside cabinet. I've yet to embrace it though. I still haven't accepted that no matter how many times I try, I just can't get past chapter 5 of Wuthering Heights. I'm halfway through How To Be Both and I know I should apply this rule to it but I just can't bring myself to. Maybe I'll wade through one more chapter...

So what are your small inspiring messages that have improved your life?

Never "lend" anything with the expectation of getting it back. Assume you've given it to them and if they return it, it's a bonus. This rule avoids a lot of hassle and falling out and reminds you to never lend something you'd be upset to lose.

When I was terrified as a new mother of doing things wrong. 'you don't have to be the best mother in the world, just good enough'. Took all the pressure off to be perfect, and I am a better mother for it.

That's a shame. I often regret posting on here because of the criticism I get back, which I take to heart, but I still think it's worth staying - have read some really great posts over the years. Not everyone is out to bring others down. I hope you stay.

🤣🤣🤣

Three things I find helpful:

Hear hoofbeats think horses not zebras.

Don’t waste time worrying about smoke in the distance when there is a fire right in front of you.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you will keep getting what you’re getting.

I love this thread.

Say how you feel and ask for what you want no matter how much you worry about the consequences, it’s better to get things out in the open rather then feel resentful afterwards and if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Always wear supportive shoes or slippers and try to avoid having bare feet, plantar fasciitis is a curse I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Instead of rising to the bait during a row or argument or if someone insults you, laugh at the person you are having the conflict with. It’ll annoy them far more and it’s far more dignified and won’t escalate as much. It’s better to walk away and make them feel small than saying words you can’t take back.

Appreciate how you look instead of looking back at when you were younger/thinner/fitter etc… I often wish I was as fat and old as I thought I was previously.

Don’t believe other people’s social media PR. The people posting about their fabulous lives feel they have something to prove, I’d rather talk to my friends on a night out or my partner on a date night then constantly stage things for pictures. The people filming at the concerts would have much more fun enjoying the moment and a memory is as valuable (if not more) then a photograph.

I agree with the coat thing, in terms of building an unwarranted reputation for 'tremendous style'.

Thinking of Harry Pearce (Spooks)

I still haven't accepted that no matter how many times I try, I just can't get past chapter 5 of Wuthering Heights.

@Penfoldseyebrows Yeah don't feel bad about that. I have read it all. Believe me, there is a reason why most films ever made of it stop well before the end. Never understand why Heathcliff is held up as this great romantic hero.

My favourite - and sooo true!

OP- Just to add to the Wuthering Heights theme. I dragged myself miserably through the whole thing - so let me take the hit and bin it. Think of the poor writers who have committed months/years to writing something that will bring you joy and you never get round to reading their work because you’re ploughing through WH.

Back in the 1980s, when DH and I were still young newly weds, we were planning our first house party. Just a dozen or so friends invited to our tiny terraced house for a pre Christmas get together.

Food was going to be simple and unsophisticated and would include sausage rolls. Anyway, I was in the supermarket staring in to the freezer at all the different possible sizes and varieties available, when a middle aged lady (probably younger than I am now) sidled up and said "is it for a party?"

When I confirmed it was she told me to get the little tiny ones because people can eat them in one bite so they won't make any crumbs.

On a similar note, I have never forgotten the advice of the late food writer Michael Smith, who said when serving wine at a party you should use big glasses but only pour about 125 to 150 ml in to the glass. The size of the glass not only gives the impression of generosity it also guards against spills.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

It’s easy to spot a fool, they always open their mouths to confirm it.

I have learnt to keep my mouth firmly shut when people are talking rubbish. Correcting people just destroys friendships. It’s incredible hard to keep quiet at times though.

“Don’t think about choosing to do what you love, just don’t do what you hate” said to me by someone 12 years ago who was more senior and much further ahead of me in a similar career path, as she was reflecting on the paths she and her friends had taken since university.

I thought it was quite funny at the time but she was deadly serious. I think she meant that however impressive a job might seem, at the end of the day it’s just a job and it’s one that you might do for decades, so if there are aspects about it that bother you now then don’t be fooled into thinking that will become easier to deal with when you get to the top. I’ve got an amazing job now I’ve found that nonsense advice useful to reflect on when I’ve been at many a crossroad professionally. I wish I knew her name to say thank you…!

The ones that have stuck with me:

Don't make someone a priority, when they only treat you as an option.

Don't make yourself small, to make someone else feel big.

Only worry about things within your control; everything else will still happen.

If it is to be, it's up to me.

“Don’t eat yellow snow”

Urine melts it.

To echo one above " I'll think about it" has got me through all kinds of situations from sales pressures, peer pressure, to scams. There's very little in life that requires an immediate decision and if someone expects that from you it should be a red flag.

Terry prachett had so many good bits of advice, but the Sam vines boot theory is a good one which I found especially true when buying kids shoes.

Make yourself "big" when you're on your bicycle ie don't cycle next to the gutter or try to hide from cars. Cycle safely but make sure you are seen and have room to move in an emergency. Don't give car drivers the opportunity to bully or inyimidate you.
Also, you can never have too many hi vis items or lights! 🤣
And of course, always wear a helmet (I know 2 people whose helmets literally saved their life).

Always carry a pen.

Vodka or washing up liquid can be used to remove all sorts of stains.

I saw a meme that said 'you aren't the idiot whisperer '

Never take business advice from somebody who:

1. Hasn't worked in your industry
2. Hasn't been more successful than you

To not fear silence when having a difficult conversation. If you have apologised/stated your position etc., don't speak again until somebody else has spoken. Often, we speak too much because silence makes us uncomfortable. We end up giving in and saying things we didn't mean or want to say.

Similarly, if someone is particularly worked up about something, ask them something to the effect of, "How would you like to move forward?" because often, people vent about their feelings rather than seeking an actual resolution.

Many wise words on here. I will re-read again later and try and commit some to memory.

The best I recall choose your attitude.

Another I've seen on mn a lot recently, comparison is the brief of joy. So, so true. In the same vein, I think too often people let striving for perfection get in the way of enjoyment.

Any finally, please remember, never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

When life gives you lemons, say fuck the lemons and bail.

From Forgetting Sarah Marshall.