To panic at weight gain and feel desperate for help!

[CamillaDonald]

Oh God.
Just weighed myself and I'm 15 stone 7 pounds.
5 ft 7.
Aged 45.
All my adult life I've weighed 11 stone 7, until about 5 years ago when I developed CFS and fibromyalgia and started to get sooooo exhausted all the time that I got in to some really bad eating habits and dropped all my exercise.
Exercise for me makes me feel much, much worse rather than better since fibromyalgia. It gives me flare ups of symptoms. So I avoid it and I'm too tired to exercise anyway. At any given moment of any day I permanently feel like I could close my eyes and fall sound asleep. I don't avoid exercise out of laziness.
And I feel too tired and drained after my days at work in the evenings to cook healthy food.
To make matters worse, I've just spent a year on steroids due to a health condition which has made me balloon up to the weight I am now.
I knew I'd gained even more weight as I can obviously feel it, but am recoiling in horror at my actual weight after bravely stepping on the scales this morning.
I look exhausted, my face and body shape is unrecognisable from 5 years ago.
I feel like crying.
Will I be able to lose weight?
How long will it take me to lose 4 stone?
My body responds verrrrrry slowly to weight loss.😥
My husband meanwhile is much skinnier than when we first met due to being a workaholic and an exerciseaholic plus he limits what he eats, he's really against anyone being overweight. Last night we were sitting next to each other on the sofa, both crossing our legs, and his thighs looked half the size and width of mine. God it's so embarrassing. I feel colossal.
My mum bought me a nightie in 'XL' size. She's always bought me size 'M' before.
It's affecting my self esteem, my self confidence, please help!
How will I lose weight if I'm not well enough to exercise?
I've got fat everywhere - my face, my chin, my neck, my upper back, my armpits, my upper arms, hips, tummy, thighs.....God almighty what am I going to do😪

This sounds so hard. Rather than jumping into a strict diet for weight loss, can you take things one step at a time?

Move to eating a healthy diet: lots of fruit and vegetables, wholewheat, pulses, fish and lean meat. Cut out junk food and alcohol.

See if that stabilises your weight and gives you more energy. Then think about exercise and portion control later.

At any given moment of any day I permanently feel like I could close my eyes and fall sound asleep.

This is worrying, I've been your exact height and weight and this wasn't the case.

Just to state the obvious, this warrants investigation by a doctor, full bloods etc. including B12, iron, thyroid, vitamin D and HBA1C to check for pre-diabetes or full-blown type 2.

I'd repost this on Weight Loss chat, you might get more help from people who have lost weight or who are in the process.

Don't panic, you have just come out of a challenging time on steroids. You will be able to turn things around.

How on earth is telling someone who has a condition that affects their ability to cook

'Move to eating a healthy diet: lots of fruit and vegetables, wholewheat, pulses, fish and lean meat. Cut out junk food and alcohol'

One step at at time??

OP appreciate it depends on your finances but could you use a meal prep service so you have some calorie controlled options available that you can just microwave? Or batch cook one meal at the weekend - something filling but low calorie and easy like soup or dal - that you have available in the week?

Ultimately though you'll need to be kind to yourself, losing weight when you have a significant health issue is really tough.

@waistchallenge what the OP describes is her health condition - fibromyalgia

Maybe try and find a couple of healthy options that are really low effort like wholewheat pasta pesto with baked salmon, literally a ten minute job and 8 of those are watching the pasta boil.

Really really importantly though - be kind to yourself. You're ill and you've been on steroids. Don't hate yourself for what you're going through.

Oh sorry, I was only aware of the pain aspect to it. I didn't realise it had this effect at all 😟

You don't need to exercise to lose weight, so don't think that is a barrier. You can do it through diet alone.
Start making some small changes, smaller portions, sensible swaps. Start a food diary and look for quick wins.

I assume CFS is chronic fatigued syndrome which is what op is so tired.

Op are you off the steroids now? If so you might find that helps on its own.

Exercise while good for overall health isn't as important as diet for weight loss.

Can you ask your husband for help? He eats well I assume? Could he help do batch cooking etc and you jointly remove any junk food from the house so it's out of sight out of mind?

Another option to consider which requires no additional work or expense is to intermittent fast, reduce your eating window to 8 hours a day.

Ate you still on the steroids? Because I suspect that’s the main factor in the weight gain and very difficult to change. In which case working on your mental feeling about being larger now would prob be helpful.

With regard to cooking and eating more healthily though, if you are too shattered due to illness, your husband could take over all meal prep. Even if he’s not around due to long working hours he could batch cook at weekends.

I have me/CFS and fibro and have had great results from the Human Being Diet.

I've lost weight but also seen a reduction in the hit by a bus feeling and feel like I have more energy.

What appealed to me about it was that you're not supposed to do any exercise for the first 12 weeks other than walking or gentle stretches. The author is incredibly generous with her time and there's a really supportive community on Instagram. Take a look at it and if you want to give it a go but don't have the brain space to meal plan, I can send you my first two weeks meal plan.

Unfortunately this is the fibromyalgia and CFS making her feel this way which won't change. I too have Fibromyalgia and feel the same as the OP. Yes it would be wise to get her bloods checked but it doesn't solve anything. It's depressing as well which makes it worse.

An anti-inflammatory diet could help with the fibro and pain. There is some anecdotal evidence that water fasting/ intermittent fasting (which pairs well with anti-inflammatory diet) can help with cfs. The weight would come off naturally with that.

Calm down. You've not murdered anyone. You've simply gone through a very tough period that's led you to gain weight. If you want to lose weight, you can. Excercise helps, but lack of it doesn't prevent weight loss. It can be done through dietary modifications alone. Given your health issues, I think you need to reframe your relationship with food and see it as therapeutic. Your body needs extra special care, so focus on giving it the best foods with the highest nutrional content so you can be as healthy as possible. Cut out the things that are not supporting your health, alcohol, sugar etc and replace with those that help you. (In fact it might help the other way round. Introduce the good stuff first and use it to crowd out the foods with little value. That worked for me) Your weight loss will be slow, you've said this is how your body works, so accept that and concentrate on everyday being a small step towards your goal.

https://www.instagram.com/petronellaravenshear?igsh=eDR0Nmp6aWs2bGEz

This is the authors Instagram if you want to take a look.

Op I wonder as well if you could find something that would help you feel better about your body - something like restorative yoga you could do at home (this is more about the meditation and breathing, not using strength to hold long poses)
It won't help you lose weight but it may help you change your perception about yourself, which is important when there's only so much in your control.

My apologies again for my misunderstanding of what fibromyalgia entails.

OP, are you off the steroids or still tapering?

@MissisBoote Is this diet plan possible for vegetarians/vegans?

I’m currently doing “very low carbs”, and I’ve never felt better - I think I might have some sort of intolerance to maybe wheat or something (I’m going to do more work on this) - I have lost weight, but I’m less bloated, have more energy, the pain in my joints has gone.

Maybe there is something else going on for you around intolerances ?

@waistchallenge you are correct that it is worth getting bloods done. People with these conditions often are deficient in B12, vitamin D and folate which of course makes things worse. I'm currently prescribed high strength folic acid as my last bloods showed my levels to be on the floor.

@Bridgertonned didn't say it had to be complicated. Wholemeal toast with carrot and cucumber sticks and houmous. Salmon fillet with some microwaved veggies. Porridge with a chopped up banana.That type of stuff.

A calorie deficit of 500 per day will result in weight loss of 4 stone in approx 12 months

@TravelMainBook I wasn't saying you were making it out to be complicated. I was saying that suggesting a total diet overhaul to someone who has described significant barriers to planning and preparing food was not 'one step at a time'. Its insensitive and patronising. It's like saying 'weight loss isnt complicated just eat less'. You completely ignored the tone of the post to provide some 'wisdom' that everyone knows and few people manage to actually do.

That sounds really difficult OP. I'm not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed.
You need to think of this as a really long term project.
I think the first thing to do is to work out where you are now. I'd download MyFitnessPal and start logging what you eat so you can get an idea of what you are doing right and what you are doing that's not so good. You might find some things that you are doing that are far more calorific than you think.
I wouldn't start dieting straight away but I'd start eating healthily and making sure I bought healthier food. If you have supplies of sweets or biscuits or similar that you know you will be tempted by I'd either get rid of them or eat them before starting your diet. I'm not great at resisting biscuits if they are in the house. I now it's childish of me but it is what it is 😅

The other thing I'd do is buy a set of scales that links to your phone so you have a proper record of your weight.

Once you have had a week or so preparing to start your diet I'd then start the diet properly. It's better to start with a higher number of calories and see if you loose weight. If you don't then gradually decrease the number of calories until you start loosing. This takes time but it's better than just jumping in and trying a super low calorie diet that makes you feel shite. I'd suggest you start at 1500 or somewhere around that.

I think it's best to aim to loose weight slowly. Even one or two pounds a week would be ok.

The other thing you need to do is keep reminding yourself that loosing weight is something positive that you have complete control over and that you can do for yourself. It's a good way to make yourself feel better about yourself and make yourself happier. There aren't many things in life where you have complete control over something but with dieting you do.

If you've got junk food in the house, take it all down the food bank drop off. Then stock up on loads of fruit and veg and fresh lean meat and fish. Make sure you've got lots of dried herbs and spices as they are low cal but add tons of flavour.

I'd say maybe look at your husbands portions and eating habits as he could be good inspiration for you. Going for walks with him, or some other outdoor hobby you both like? Cycling, lol?

It will take time but they say it take a month to reset bad habits, so if you avoid fattening foods, sugar, junk, too many carbs your body will get used to less calories. If you drink sugared drinks switch to diet soda or herbal tea and drink loads of water.

I know it's a bit controversial but you could try weight loss injections just for a bit to kick start the process. I've not tried them so they may not be suitable but you could speak to GP.

The reason I suggested logging everything on MyFitnessPal is that it gives you a breakdown of the nutritional value of your food, so how much fat/carbs/sugars etc you are eating along with the vitamins etc.

If I'm dieting I have to be careful to eat enough protein and MyFitnessPal is a great reminder.