To find pregnancy hard

[UncomfortablyBig882]

First pregnancy, second trimester, if anyone else tells me I should be feeling amazing and/or it's the best I'll ever feel, I will have to throw something at them.

I feel so sad and pathetic and miserable. I don't have HG or anything serious. Every pregnant woman I know is so happy and glowing and healthy. Except for one work colleague who has been in and out of hospital with HG and I obviously cannot compare my relatively easy experience with that.

I was actually very fit before pregnancy so was probably overconfident going into this.

But first trimester I was nauseous 24/7 and had crippling horrific insomnia. Second trimester now I have the worst tailbone pain and I'm so uncomfortable. I literally had 2 weeks of feeling well. I tried to control my eating so I don't get fat but I can't stop eating because I'm on the sofa, bored, in pain and so weak and sad. Can't even go for a long walk to clear my head as I'm in pain. I can't remember my confidence ever being so low in my life.

God knows what horror the third trimester will bring, I'm now terrified because apparently it's the hardest part?

Yeah pregnancy is shit. Second trimester is the least shit generally but pregnancy is mostly shit. Pregnancy with a toddler to look after is also shit.

It’s impossible to tell what issues you may have in third trimester as it will be different each time. The only thing that gets you through is knowing it’s temporary. And as you don’t have another child to look after, please just take this chance to rest!

Not wanting to go through pregnancy again is one of the many reasons I’m not having a 3rd.

OP I totally get you, I have 2 DS’s and both pregnancies I’ve struggled horrendously despite them being ‘easy’ low risk pregnancies. But I had lots of aches and pains, insomnia, huge weight gain, v swollen etc. pregnancy isn’t pretty on me 😂

The only way that I can describe it is that I feel like I’m running on about 20% of my usual output.. and I hate that. I’m usually really active, don’t like sitting down for too long, have a lot of motivation and that just went out the window for me. I also put on a tonne of weight both times (currently 5 months pp) - I’m still working on the weight and in truth haven’t really lost any yet, but I know that will come. For now I’m working on my stamina, fitness and ENJOYING mat leave.

your baby will be so worth the pain and the wait, so hang in there OP and if you’re having a down day let it be just that. It feels like a lifetime but 9 months does fly by (but I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re awake in the middle of the night!) 💐

Yep. I’m 31+2 and I’m finding it hard. It took me a very long time to get pregnant (nearly 6 yrs) so I feel like I’m being ungrateful even though I’m not. I’ve put on nearly 3st which has shattered my confidence completely. I’ve never felt uglier in my life. Baby is breech and I can’t breath or move properly with its head under my ribs. My hips feel like they’re being dislocated. I miss taking my dog on long walks through the hills, I’m desperate to do that again.

I feel very conflicted because I put so much time and effort (and money) into getting pregnant, but coping mechanisms meant I never once allowed myself to wonder what it would actually be like to be in this position. My head is all over the place 😕

Same here, totally unprepared for what feels like a daily onslaught

Three normal pregnancies and never really enjoyed being pregnant with any of them. With the third I was especially worn out and had to go on sick leave for exhaustion from month 6. I remember the relief after the third was born and the wonderful feeling of not being pregnant anymore! But now I have three cute kiddos to love ❤️ best of luck to you OP and ignore all the women who have super easy times being pregnant.

Please speak to your midwife about your back pain. Physio may help you! I suffered horrifically with PGP in both pregnancies, so I can relate!

Personally, I found it horrific. I had a skin condition that I couldn't treat with the usual drugs and Pg made it 10 times worse. It was rotten. BUT my 12y/o is so worth it. I know it's scant consolation when you're suffering, but it really is worth it. Hope you feel better soon.

Pregnancy is tough!
Especially when you’re so used to being active. I gained 4 stone due to terrible pelvic girdle pain and couldn’t really exercise the way I wanted to. I felt pretty rotten throughout! As others have said see your midwife to be referred for physio, I got a big tubigrip for my bump which helped a bit.

But your wee kiddo will be so worth it in the end! 🥰

Have you mentioned any of this to your midwife?

Consider finding other pregnant women to socialise with e.g. nct classes, or those mum friend apps.

It's normal to want to eat a lot and to gain weight (extra body fat), your body is keeping an entire human alive (and gearing up for breastfeeding where you will keep baby alive with just your boobs! ) try not to worry about weight gain, I went from size 8 to size 14 and 4 years later I'm back to size 10 which is fine by me.

As pp said it is all worth it

No i find it shit..my first i had HG and ended high risk.
Second time no sickness but i still feel miserable and shit 😂😂

I can't cope with the hormones, i actually feel an anxious depressed mess, snapping at everyone, having meltdowns. Its like amplified PMS that doesnt go away or relent.

I'm done after this second.

Plus you feel that awful and people look at you like you have three heads if you dare complain...suffer in silence 😪 i just want a bloody hug haha

It’s really shit. I found actually having the baby such a relief to finally get him out of my body.

In the absence of hugs, I had a load of Feast ice creams. Every day. Loved them 😍

I’m so with you! Also second trimester and so many things resonate.

Also spent years and money trying to get pregnant, also running on about 20% of output, have put on so much weight and feel horrific, also scared of third trimester.

I’ve been preparing myself for what it will be like when the baby is born, doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better for a few years.

I know I should be grateful, anyone any tips for accepting it / feeling better?

I sympathise, my pregnancy was horrible. What got me through it was knowing it will end one day, and every day is one day closer to meeting your baby! I had a C-section and felt better than I had done the previous 9 months 😂

Yes, I hear you, it's rotten.

The big upside is how much better you feel once it's over. I remember walking along with DP and the pram, and at a traffic light I started jumping on the spot, just because I could. "I'm not pregnant any more!!" It felt amazing being so light. I also enjoyed meals about 1000% more.

I found it quite hard, too.

My first pregnancy was healthy and uneventful on paper BUT I was nauseous for the first 18 weeks, then felt exhausted and anxious, then in the last 6 weeks my back went and I could barely walk. Put on shed loads of weight and felt like shit. I never ‘glowed’.

Second pregnancy I had HG and barely remember it. I spent the first 26 weeks on the sofa vomiting into a bowl, then got obstetric cholestasis and was itchy, exhausted and unwell.

I had a friend who was one of those glowing, energetic pregnant women who was doing yoga on the day she went into labour. <sigh>

Pregnancy sucks! I don't know anyone who enjoyed it though I know one who was still energetic until 3rd trimester. I think you've been unlucky OP to come across so many women who enjoyed pregnancy. My friends and I all agree it's a mean to an end. I remember the day I gave birth the huge relief I felt at not being pregnant anymore and the excitement of lying in bed on my stomach! I did it for months just because I could. And eating what I wanted, no heartburn anymore. Bliss!

I'm nearing third trimester with this pregnancy and whilst it again is so far a textbook easy pregnancy I am finding it harder in many ways. I can't play with my toddler like I want to. I can't chase him quickly if he runs off, which makes me terrified and feel so vulnerable. I can't bloody sleep so am exhausted looking after him even though I have enough time in bed. I spend his nap napping myself so gey no free time anymore.

As others have said, the baby is worth this but it's a hard toll for us mums there's no doubt. Also, I do yoga and pilates but not because I'm brimming with pregnancy glow but because I'm absolutely forcing myself to do that twice a week to stay fit and have some me time.

I swam a lot during my pregnancy, right up to the last couple of weeks. I think it really help my mental health and kept me fit whilst having the water to support my whale like body. Is it something that might work for you?

I could have written this! I'm 23 weeks and it already feels like a long slog. Aches, pains, nausea, thrush, bleeding gums, nose etc, anxiety and only yesterday I broke down in tears and finally acknowledged that I haven't really been happy since pregnancy started.
In summary, no advice but I hear ya. There's a very romanticised impression you get of being pregnant but the reality is so different!

This thread is fantastic.

I'm on my third and feeling huge, and exhausted and done in.

Also dreading the glucose test next week.

My workplace is nice, but noone has kids and they just don't get it.

Great to read I'm not the only miserable!

Roll on newborn cuddles!

Agreed! It's a relief to moan and be freely miserable! I feel I have to curtail it round others as otherwise I'm such a miserable sod all the time and I'm sure they're sick of hearing it!

I’m also in second trimester with my first!

On one hand, finding second tri easier than the first. I am also “enjoying” being pregnant a bit more with slightly less anxiety than those first months. Generally people are nicer and more considerate, and after trying to get pregnant for so long it is good to finally feel and look pregnant!

on the other hand, I’m struggling to get proper sleep, between needing to wee all the damn time and getting sore sleeping on my side. I have bad girdle pain on and off and worried about that getting worse as I get bigger. And, while a bit better, I still get anxious about things that are actually (so far!) probably fine like fetal movements and discharge. So I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to say pregnancy is challenging!

I find pregnancy yoga class helpful for the aches and pains - and also just a bit of gentle “me” time mentally too.

I hate it too. For me there is something in the ceushing weight of responsibility towards this tiny vulnerable thing that I cant ever just take off for the night or pass to someone else to look adter whilst i have a nice steak/sushi/wine/as mich chocolate or tea as I like.

And the tiredness is so demoralising, second tome round with an extremely active toddler is just crap (and that's with a supportive husband and part time nanny) tbh.

Just to flag now because although it wouldn't change my decision, I'd liked to have bloody been told in some antenatal classes that breastfeeding maintained some of the emotional "not feeling myself" stuff and I wasn't able to lose any weight until after I finished (side note: I did a year last time, was only planning to do 6 months but the baby forgot how to use the bottle after my milk supply regulated and for a few weeks and I omitted to express regularly lazy- not letting that happen this time round!)

Oops, sorry for all the typos!

im with you OP, 3rd trimester here and im willing for it to end... my 2nd trimester was not glorious like everyone said it would be.

my sickness has returned and i have just had to sprint upstairs to vomit and I peed myself at the same time which was a beautiful moment 🙄

also baby's arse seems to be right in my rib cage so i feel so stuffed.

Luckily im WFH today and its friday :)

Just keep thinking of what is coming OP x