To think there is never time to relax on weekdays ?

[LanaL]

Is it just me ?

No matter what I do , my evenings from getting in from work to going to bed are just non stop ?? I don’t stop from the minute I walk in until I fall in to bed !

Im a teacher . I leave work around 430 ( I’m a supply that’s the only reason I’m leaving that early lol ) . I get home and have to then vacuum , tidy breakfast bits , do a general daily clean , make lunches for the next day , iron for the next day ( children have drawers instead of wardrobes so I can’t do it all in one go on the weekend ) , do dinner , baths , showers , then it’s bedtime ! My husband gets home about 6 and he helps too so it’s not like I’m having to do it all myself but he works a lot longer hours than me and he works 6 days so I think it’s fair to take a bit more on myself . It doesn’t help that we both do Keto so lunches for work and evening meals aren’t a case of making sandwiches or throwing something in the oven , But even before we did that it was still as manic . I like to be in bed by 9/930 as I’m up at 530. Mornings are just as manic - I put a wash on overnight so I can put it out to dry first thing so it dries during the day and then I take it all off and put it away in the evening - another job . We also have a dog so have to fit in dog walks and we like to go to the gym but I can never find time or energy in the weekdays ! We go on a sat and sun and usually squeeze it in on a Monday too and we like to try to go again in the week - that’s always the plan- once the children are sorted , my eldest can watch them and it’s only 2 min away so realistically even just 40 mins we should be able to do but after Monday we’re usually too tired !

I am not moaning - I make choices to do a certain diet, I choose to go to the gym and I choose to do chores throughout the week so that weekends are relaxing . But even then the weekends are filled with bigger cleaning jobs or DIY , the weekly shop , activities for the kids etc … I usually have a Saturday night where we chill out but that’s it ( however our weekends are always productive and I enjoy them so I wouldn’t change it ! ) .

I count down to the school holidays - but as a supply teacher I’m not salaried so don’t get paid for holidays so therefore have to work a bit in them too ( I do only do 2 days a week in holidays as I need the time and I want to see my children so I’m lucky to have that time off but it’s no different to full time workers having annual leave ) . My poor husband gets no time off really - he’s agency , a good paid job , but agency, he does take some time off so we can do things but having no holidays it’s hard so he tends to feel guilty doing that knowing he loses a good chunk of money by doing it. We’re not poor , but we aren’t rich and we have debt so it’s a luxury for him to be able to take time off .

As I say it’s not a pity post - I’m grateful for everything I have and I have lots that many don’t have ( for a start I have a husband I can’t even imagine doing it all alone )

But am I alone here ? Does anyone else feel like it’s non stop ??

I'm a teacher, and not supply. I stay at work until 5:30, get home at 6pm and sometimes bring work home too, though I mostly try to leave that for the weekend. Either dh or I cook, but we have time after that. We usually watch whatever series we currently have on the go.

You sound like you do way more housework than we do. We have a cleaner once a week and basically do very little ourselves. Laundry and a bit of housework happen at the weekends. We have a dog and a cat. Dog has a dogwalker on weekdays since I went back to work ft. We usually make our lunches while making dinner, or after if it's leftovers. We get up at 6:40 and leave for work at 7:30, not manic at all. But we only have one (capable and reliable) teen dc at home.

Can you hang clothes in the bathroom while everyone showers? The steam will make the creases drop out. Slightly damp after but nothing that won’t dry overnight ready for the morning.

I know that people love them but dogs seem to create a huge amount of work…

I don’t know how old your dog is, but if you want to simplify your life, seriously consider not getting a new dog once your current one is no longer around.

Apart from that:

Consider sending some of your items to a dry cleaner. They will probably do a 5 shirts washed and ironed for £12 kind of service.

Get a stick vacuum cleaner - your children might be happy to use it?

Consider making and freezing sandwiches - there are Mumsnet threads with good ideas about how to save time on packed lunches.

Some kind of clothing rail seems essential! You can buy them cheaply from Argos and they are fine.

OP, I used to be the exact same as you. Life was so busy and full and felt like a massive slog. Like you I sat and thought of lots of solutions - my kids do a lot of clubs outside of school so I thought of reducing that, we buy meat from the butcher so I thought of changing that to the supermarket so all the shopping was in one place, we have a retriever so I hoover a couple of times a day so I thought of reducing that and living with the hair a bit. Eventually I realised my life was the way it was because of my own choices. If I didn't want to change those things then my life wouldn't change. So in the end I accepted that for now, this is how it is. It won't always be so hectic, but right now it is and that's because I want my house to be clean, my clothes to be ironed, my children to pursue their hobbies and to make ethical choices about how I eat. I could change it but on balance, I don't want to. Maybe it's the same for you?

I’m exactly the same I work in a school home about 3.45. My eldest gets home about 3.15 and the other 2 about 3.30 my eldest does the morning dishes when they get in then my middle does the hoovering including the couch and dining room chairs when they get in. We have 2 dogs I couldn’t imagine not hoovering everyday. When I get in I start making tea. Then once we have ate me or DH do dishes wipe around tidy things away and hoover again. My 2 youngest only have drawers too so I iron every night/morning when I get up. Mornings are manic getting ready packed lunches and making sure everyone has got everything they need for the day this results in the house looking like a bomb has gone off. Depending on what day it is we have to squeeze in after school activities with the children, shopping or dog walking . The children are old enough to bath themselves but while the youngest is in I potter round upstairs put away washing etc. The weekend like this weekend has been a full house clean from top to bottom catching up on laundry, changing beds, cleaning the fridge etc. that took yesterday up, today we have one of DC matches that will take us to about 1pm this afternoon and then try and squeeze in an afternoon out with the other 2 somewhere ready for it all to start again tomorrow. I rarely sit down before 8pm of a night sometimes later. It’s frustrating but I feel like if I don’t do it today it will only be double tomorrow and then it becomes overwhelming. I’ve just accepted it as my life now and tell myself it won’t always be this way when the kids aren’t here and there isn’t as many people to clean round after. Will it be a bit less overwhelming if you do a to do list and give yourself a set amount of time for each task ? Hope your ok op ☺️

I get home and have to then vacuum , tidy breakfast bits , do a general daily clean , make lunches for the next day , iron for the next day ( children have drawers instead of wardrobes so I can’t do it all in one go on the weekend ) , do dinner , baths , showers , then it’s bedtime !

You could choose to do less. That is what other people do IMO - they prioritise relaxation. No one has to hoover, clean or iron every day.

Im aware I’ve knocked back every suggestion - but believe me I have thought of all . I wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t necessary for my life ( eg I know I don’t have to clean that much and could do it at weekends but I don’t want to . I like having a clean and tidy house ) . I wasn’t asking for advice on how to change things I was just having a rant and wondering if other people’s evenings were the same x

No, my evenings are not the same, they are very relaxing! But we each choose how we want to livet, and you want to iron more than you want to relax, which is a perfectly legitimate choice.

Everyone priorities different things and tbh, like most PPs I think you’re making an awful lot of work for yourself.

I work in a support role in a school so am out 8.45-5.15 Mon to Friday, DD at uni but elderly mum who needs visiting a couple of times a week, checking in by phone daily and occasional errands run. I also do a second job at my school so have one 8.45am - 10pm day a week and a couple of weekend shifts per month.

I do the bare minimum in the week tbh, and fit it all in around doing nicer things at the weekend.

I just live with the fluffy cat repercussions, washing goes straight on hangers and dries on the curtain rails so no need to iron (unless I’m starching fabric for quilting 😁), food shopping is delivered.

I also make this for my lunches on a Sunday and it does the whole week, I just add some protein each day (this week DD is home so I’ll roast a whole chicken and put half in the freezer for the latter half of the week).

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe5D4bD4/

That looks good but I always understood there to be dire warnings against keeping cooked rice? I suppose it could be done with another grain instead.

Yanbu op. I'm a lone parent and feel like I'm on the go from the minute I wake up. I occasionally sit down and watch TV at night but I'm exhausted.

It makes sense to keep on top of house work. Dog walks, gym and eating well are all good self care.

I don't iron everything but like you, don't want to go out in creased clothes and iron as needed.

I'm peri menopausal and DD has additional needs. Then there's all the home admin, gardening, clubs, shopping. We are in a routine and because of that the house is manageable. I had to go to a work meeting last week in the evening and an extra early start the following day; by the time I was home the house already felt it had begun the descent into chaos.

I got up at 6 and have a morning routine which includes wellness coaching, cold showers and a whole array of supplements.

It's hard but the consequences is I'm in great health, DD thriving at school, the house feels like a nice place to be and we have a happy home.

It's relentless but it's worth it, the laundry never piles up and food shop is cheap because I cook everything from fresh.

I don't do packed lunches though. School dinners here......and I get DD to help with a couple of jobs.

If I get one or two nights where I watch an episode of something or a documentary I'm winning.

Forgot about that bit!

I was bit dubious about the rice aspect and use quinoa instead!

Get a cleaner who also irons, get a robot hoover to pick up the dog’s hair. Replace your washing machine with a washer/dryer. Don’t leave the house in the morning before tidying up breakfast bits. Batch-make lunches and dinners or make them the night before.

I often feel the same in the week, just no time to relax when you factor in dance runs, dog walks etc.
I have a dog too and hoover most days, I totally get that! Other than that I have a quick wipe round surfaces with a damp dishcloth when I'm washing up, following round with a tea towel. I never polish.
We have a heated clothes airer, I unload one lot and fold it as soon as the next load is ready, most can be folded. Very little needs ironing but if it does its done straight away so it just never backs up.
I usually do a big bolognese or curry at the weekend and prepare the week's veg & store it (so carrots peeled and chopped etc) for easy dinners.
I don't have a housework day, I literally just seem to clean as I go, cleaning the shower when I'm in it etc.
I work school hours too but am usually done, washed up, next day prepped and relaxing by 8pm. I just do little bits very often so I don't spend the precious weekends having to catch up on housework.

Could you get a clothes rail and use it for the school uniform, this would prevent it getting creased and a rail can be picked up cheaply.

I'd also be using the Easter holidays to sort the FC bedrooms and ensure there are not clothes stuffed into drawers that are not being used.

Could the DC have some simple jobs in the week? If there is not much clutter around they should be able to dust and polish and older DC hoover. It may not be perfect, but enough to keep on top of things in the week.

I am assuming you have every schooI holiday to relax?

You have more time off then if are only working part time. I think it’s a pure indulgence to be shopping in individual shops every week! Ridiculous.

Well, ok, you keep martyring yourself if you keep choosing to do time-consuming and unnecessary things.

You asked ‘Am I alone here?’ and the answer from many is yes!

Im a teacher so have a lot of work to do out of school. I don’t want my children to see life as being on a hamster wheel. Evenings are busy with tea, washing etc and then schoolwork and their clubs. You get home at 4:30 which isn’t too late at all to get things done and spend time with your children.

You’ve got a dog so why can’t you go for a family dog walk in the week? Sometimes it’s putting things down and focusing on living a good quality life. So you miss hoovering one night? Surely spending family time together is more important?

Another teacher here, althoughI'm usually home by 6.
Dc are tween teens so it's brief hello to them. Tea usually by 7. Then couple of hours work. Then wind down around 9. Up at 6 and repeat. Throw in a couple of activities for the kids during the week and gym for dh and I and there's no time for housework. That's for the weekend.

We are usually done with 'tasks' by 7 at the latest. We are home about 5.30 and between us cook dinner (usually mostly from scratch), clear up, packed lunches, homework (eldest is high school so doesn't need help, youngest's school is quite light touch with homework tbh and can do it with minimal support whilst we clear up after dinner) house doesn't need a lot of tidying in the week as we are all working and at school?

DH goes away for months at a time for work and it's not much different during those times, tend to pull the kids in to help out more with clearing up after dinner and usually opt for school lunches for those stints.

Even when the kids were preschool I've never had that "haven't sat down until 9" moment, I don't understand what I should be doing!

This.

I too like a clean, tidy house, cook from scratch, do shopping in person etc, but as soon as kids in bed I'm on that sofa with DP & a cuppa catching up on.a drama. It may only be 90 mins, but my sanity needs it.

But bed by 9/930 is unrealistic for me. I suppose I compromise on sleep. I'd feel like I was a child myself going to bed at that time. Up at 530 sounds a bit excessive- can you sort it so it's 1030-630?

Yes, OP, we get it. You're a teacher and they have the hardest job in the world

I think that's what you wanted from this thread?

I don’t iron and do the bare minimum cleaning. Have a robot hoover.

As single parent teacher I’m up at 5.30, out at 6.30 and home eleven hours later to throw food at my child before bathtime. If it takes longer than five minutes to cook it’s too long.

By the time small child is asleep, I sometimes have half an hour to get more jobs done before falling asleep. I have a thyroid condition and sleep badly, so usually in bed myself by 9.

I hate that I’m living for the times when my ex has kid so I can get more jobs done without the guilt.

i can only dream of having time to go to the gym and iron endlessly…,

This is a stealth boast post I assume.

If you finish work at 4:30, I'm not sure why you can't find any relaxation time in the 5 hours before you go to bed (unless you have a massive commute).

If it was me, I'd keep a diary for a week writing down what I was doing and for how long, then reviewing what I could do differently/more efficiently. Or post on here if you're brave enough!!