To think there is never time to relax on weekdays ?

[LanaL]

Is it just me ?

No matter what I do , my evenings from getting in from work to going to bed are just non stop ?? I don’t stop from the minute I walk in until I fall in to bed !

Im a teacher . I leave work around 430 ( I’m a supply that’s the only reason I’m leaving that early lol ) . I get home and have to then vacuum , tidy breakfast bits , do a general daily clean , make lunches for the next day , iron for the next day ( children have drawers instead of wardrobes so I can’t do it all in one go on the weekend ) , do dinner , baths , showers , then it’s bedtime ! My husband gets home about 6 and he helps too so it’s not like I’m having to do it all myself but he works a lot longer hours than me and he works 6 days so I think it’s fair to take a bit more on myself . It doesn’t help that we both do Keto so lunches for work and evening meals aren’t a case of making sandwiches or throwing something in the oven , But even before we did that it was still as manic . I like to be in bed by 9/930 as I’m up at 530. Mornings are just as manic - I put a wash on overnight so I can put it out to dry first thing so it dries during the day and then I take it all off and put it away in the evening - another job . We also have a dog so have to fit in dog walks and we like to go to the gym but I can never find time or energy in the weekdays ! We go on a sat and sun and usually squeeze it in on a Monday too and we like to try to go again in the week - that’s always the plan- once the children are sorted , my eldest can watch them and it’s only 2 min away so realistically even just 40 mins we should be able to do but after Monday we’re usually too tired !

I am not moaning - I make choices to do a certain diet, I choose to go to the gym and I choose to do chores throughout the week so that weekends are relaxing . But even then the weekends are filled with bigger cleaning jobs or DIY , the weekly shop , activities for the kids etc … I usually have a Saturday night where we chill out but that’s it ( however our weekends are always productive and I enjoy them so I wouldn’t change it ! ) .

I count down to the school holidays - but as a supply teacher I’m not salaried so don’t get paid for holidays so therefore have to work a bit in them too ( I do only do 2 days a week in holidays as I need the time and I want to see my children so I’m lucky to have that time off but it’s no different to full time workers having annual leave ) . My poor husband gets no time off really - he’s agency , a good paid job , but agency, he does take some time off so we can do things but having no holidays it’s hard so he tends to feel guilty doing that knowing he loses a good chunk of money by doing it. We’re not poor , but we aren’t rich and we have debt so it’s a luxury for him to be able to take time off .

As I say it’s not a pity post - I’m grateful for everything I have and I have lots that many don’t have ( for a start I have a husband I can’t even imagine doing it all alone )

But am I alone here ? Does anyone else feel like it’s non stop ??

It sounds exhausting to be you. I hoover every few days, if that. I don't do a wash every day. Ironing only gets done when I have time/can be bothered. I don't do labour intensive meal prep. I don't do big cleaning or DIY jobs on the weekend. You're heading for burn out carrying on like this.

I have a lab and a golden retriever and a long haired cat and don't hoover every day! I give them all a quick brush (literally 1-2 mins each), which gets rid of most of what they would otherwise put around the house.

Sorry you don't need to hoover and polish every day even if you have a lab! You choose to but that's not the same as needing to. If you have a lab you have to accept a certain amount of shedding, that's just how it goes.

You don't need to iron every day. Iron once a week if you really have to iron and keep all ironed clothes that don't fit in drawers in the spare room or your bedroom folded ready to be worn.

Can you kids get school dinners?

All the things you describe are choices. I have at least a couple of hours to sit on the sofa at night and I consider myself to be busy a lot of the time.

You're choosing to do a lot of this stuff, which is obviously fine, but the trade off is not having as much time. And it sounds like you aren't happy with that trade off. But there's no other option - stop doing some of the things (you've said you can't) or accept it.

To answer your question about whether anyone else feels like this - I do to some extent. But I don't have a dog and I don't iron anything ever. My time is eaten up by studying for a qualification (accountancy) on top of my full time job, which is a lot but it's only for a couple more years. Before I started this qualification I didn't feel the way you describe.

Exactly, it's all choices.

I sometimes feel like I'm always on the go because I have volunteering commitments in the evenings on top of my full time job, but I recognise that this is a personal choice and I could sit at home in front of the telly if I preferred.

A lot of this is down to you not having to do these things but wanting to.

Shirts can be ironed in bulk and hung on a door, you don’t necessarily need a rail.

Keto meals can easily be prepared, there are thousands of YouTube videos and blogs dedicated to this.

Your husband is home by 6 (which I would not count as late at all!), and sort the children’s bath and bed.

Do you pick the children up from school, can you fit the dog in then? I’m guessing you have a dog walker too if you’re out 0530-1700 everyday?

2100 is very early to go to bed, but surely that and the gym counts as relaxation time? Most would kill for that long a sleep!!

If you did the meal prep at the weekend (include the children, make it a fun activity), and spent an hour ironing all the shirts, then you’d have 4 hours every night to vacuum, and shove something in the oven - plenty of time!!

Sorry OP but whatever you say, you don't have to iron and polish every day. As everyone else has said - let it go.

Non iron shirts for school. DH shirts hung straight from washing. Forget about ironing bedding. Brush the dog. Do a clean once a week at most - or if you can, a cleaner in for a few hours blitz fortnightly and you just di maintenance cleaning in between. Get kids to help a bit more. School lunches.

I don’t understand why people are so shocked at my insistence to iron clothes ? If I don’t have to iron believe me I won’t , I hate it, but there is no way on earth I would send my children out in ( or turn up to work in ) clothes that are as creased as mine are when they’re dry ! I don’t think that’s picky I think it’s normal . I don’t have a dryer . No space anywhere for it .

I don’t have a bed for perfection , my home is far from perfect but I know what is essential for my life .

with all due respect I did not come on for advice or tips, I don’t need them -I just needed a little moan x

Well it's fine to have a moan but this is AIBU so expect us to tell you that you are because most of us will be WTAF at the rod you are making for your own back.

I also don't have a dryer. I've literally never ironed school uniform. Just reshape clothes when wet and hang them flat or on a hanger and they will dry flat enough. There are zero 'wrinkles' when you do it this way.

Sounds awful. I don’t know anyone whose life is that hectic. You’re going to burn out at some point.

I only work a couple of days a week from home, so can’t really compare, but I just couldn’t live like that.

I have three dogs and I don't hoover or polish every day!

I haven't ironed anything for months and no one is going out in creased clothes. I also don't have a drier.

I meal prep at the weekends so don't have to make lunches every night (husband is keto and daughter is veggie and this still works fine).

I go to the gym four times a week and still manage to spend a good amount of weekday time slumped on the sofa like a dead bumblebee.

By all means have a moan, but you're moaning about things that are 100% self inflicted so also don't expect much sympathy!

Robot hoover

Ditch the daily hoovering & the ironing. Nothing wrong with folded shirts.

I clean the kitchen & check the bathrooms every day. The rest of the house gets done early on Saturday mornings. Food shop gets done on Friday evening (very quiet then).

But then I don't have a dog or a partner, only a ds, so my house stays relatively clean.

Her life isn't actually that hectic from what she has described. She has just chosen to do a lot of busy work that makes it seems like her life is hectic.

I think some people like the idea of life being busy/hectic whereas others prefer to emphasise downtime. It doesn't necessarily mean that the "busy" ones actually have any more to do than the less busy ones. Work expands to fit the time that you make available for it.

Fair enough we all need a little moan from time to time - but this is AIBU, the concept is that you ask if you're being unreasonable, people will tell you!

My two penneth (not that you want it!), is that the main reason people don't stick to diets and gym going is this kind of thing - it eats all your free time. Is it working ok for you? My DH is on it, it's a chew, but he's lost 3.5 stone so! Worth it for us - hope it is for you too.

It sounds like you need to simplify your life.

In the afternoons, I don't clean. Will tidy up breakfast and lunch stuff before starting dinner, but that takes 5 minutes tops. I don't make packed lunches. I don't iron. Don't even own an iron! my kids school uniform lives in the washing basket on top of the dryer, which is where I shove it when it's dry and then fish it out for them to put on.

I also have two horses, so I manage 1.5-2 hours of farm work before dinner as well. And I have a blocked out time every morning between 7:30-8am where I sit with a coffee and do little else because that's what I need to wake up for the day.

The house is messy, but it's not uninhabitable. We give it a good clean for guests.

If the need to hoover every day, what about investing in a robot hoover which can hoover when you are at work/ evening etc?

Hooks for the back of the kids doors. The stuff you are ironing in the week, you can do at the weekend and hang on the back of the door instead of in the draws (my mother in law is so good at hanging her laundry she barely irons...I am still learning this one!)

I do find when my DH is away I have little/no sit-down time in the evening if I'm busy at work. I'm at the office all day from 8am. 5pm - 7pm I'd be with my DD. After 7pm I might log on to to an hour or so's work and by the time you've eaten and done a few little chores (the next day's packed lunch for DD etc etc) it's bedtime. It can be a real grind.

BUT! when DH is around and/or work is normal, I get a couple of hours in the evening to chill. I don't vacuum, iron or clean*, though! We are all out all day so sitting room stays under control. We take it in turns to do bedtime while the other can stay at work a bit longer if needed.

DD mostly wears unironed clothes (she's 18 months, so cares not... and a lot of things have a little stretch in them anyway). Things that do need ironing are done at the weekend - admittedly not by me. Could you get a little clothes rack for the kiddos so the creasing is less of an issue? Or even a steamer?

We don't make special lunches for DH and me: just take leftovers or buy something.

I do think you are a little unreasonable to think there is no opportunity for free time when you could ease up on the housework a bit. But it's not unreasonable to feel like days are too busy to do everything you'd like AND have relaxation time.

*apart from sorting out the kitchen after cooking obviously.

I'm a lone parent in a high pressure job and a self-confessed busy-holic who creates work for herself, so I recognise a lot of this.

But even I think ironing and vacuuming every day is totally unnecessary. Life is too short to iron unless you have an important meeting.

I also think there must be a way around the keto thing: there must be some batch-cooking approach?

Why are you hoovering every day if no one is in the house all day? Do you need to do as much washing? Family of 4 here, I only do 4 to 5 loads a week. Ironing? I don't iron anything. School shirts go in tumble dryer and come out straight onto hangers. When you're dead, no one will remember how tidy your house was. But your kids will remember the time you spent with them.

I think you sound busy but not overly so and you have help from another half. You are also able to go the gym and walk the dog which are activities that can be used to destress from the daily grind. You aren’t working 12 hour shifts like some people have to and are able to find time for your lifestyle choices…. Being a supply teacher rather than a salaried teacher is also a career choice so must work for you

Well, nothing changes if nothing changes.

So you asked does anyone else feel like there’s no time? No…because people make concessions for things they can let go of to free up time..you don’t want to and that’s on you but why have you come to have a moan about things that can be changed but you don’t want to change? Make a change somewhere or stop moaning..very simple

also is there a reason why you are a supply teacher instead of employed teacher? Sounds like having to get up to early is part of the problem and being employed where you had the same hours daily and knew where you were going to be each day would also help - plus also not having to look for additional work in summer holidays?
edited as I also forgot to say could you dry clothes hanging up as the creases would just fall out (I also don’t have dryer)