To be so upset over DH secret viagra use?

[Gracelet]

I discovered yesterday that DH has secretly been using Viagra for months and I'm really upset. I feel humiliated at the thought that all this time I thought he was attracted to me and all the while it was just chemical arousal.

He swears it was just occasionally and that it's nothing to do with me, but I don't trust him to be honest now. We've also had issues with porn in the past - him choosing it over sex with me and lying about how much he was using it, which obviously made me very insecure - and now this. I feel like a fool for thinking he was attracted to me.

What's even weirder is that we have a pretty good sex life and I have NEVER noticed any problems in that area! Not once.

I told two friends in confidence, one of whom told me I was being selfish and the other seemed surprised at my upset.

So am I BU? Totally prepared to be told I am!

Ps. NC for this because I have another thread running at the moment.

Ok, I get it. FWIW he barely sees either of these friends and in the moment I really needed someone to talk to.

If he knows these friends you should tell him that you shared this information with them. He deserves to know.

You really need to get over yourself. You are being totally unreasonable. Not everything is about you. You gave made it difficult for him to even talk to you by going to your friends.

I can understand that. Sometimes we all need to talk things through. And although men are understandably sensitive about ED, it is very common. Speak to a typical group of women with husbands aged 50 and above and there will be others in the same boat.

I think the question is whether you feel able to rebuild the intimacy? It's sounds to me as if there may be communication issues underpinning your situation, and perhaps you have pulled away from each other instead of joining together.

Wow.. way to make it all about you.. This is your husbands problem and he is dealing with it. It’s got nothing to do with finding you attractive. It must be embarrassing for him.

Seriously !
Your partner is suffering from a sensitive physical health condition, instead of showing him empathy/sympathy you tell him off and go and tell your mates.
He is then understandably wary and doesn't feel like being intimate with you.
So you're back on the here complaining your ego is bruised.
I don't even know where to start, but before you can even attempt to fix this you need to get one thing really really clear in your head.
This is not all about you !