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Original poster

Ex peed on my fence!

54 replies

Haventbeenhere · 21/03/2024 13:45

I need a reality check because Im told I'm making a big fuss over nothing.

Split with a partner of 4 years. Yesterday he came in to drop my stuff I had left at his home and pick up his own from mine. Was meant to be here around 4pm. 4pm comes, I'm stuck at call with my manager at work (working from home). He is sending me a text to ask if I still love him, to which I reply that I'm in a meeting.

The call ends, 5 minutes later, I walk out of house to see if he is here and I see him peeing on my fence on a driveway, just behind my car!

I mean, really? He said he hasn't done anything inappropriate and I should be more understanding, he was bursting for a toilet and didn't want to interupt my call. But, jeasoo! I would have let him in if I knew he was there. He could drive 3 minutes to a nearest Tesco if he didn't want to interupt, or whatever! I can not imagine peeing on anybodys fence, yet I feel bad for saying wth are you doing? Confused

How bad it is in a scale 1-10 with 10 being the worst?

OP posts:
penelopepinkbott · 21/03/2024 13:48

It's pretty bad. Was it out of sight from people walking/driving past?

HungryBeagle · 21/03/2024 13:49

It’s pretty rank. Just be glad he’s an ex.

SerenChocolateMuncher · 21/03/2024 13:54

Perhaps he was genuinely desperate for a wee. I don't think men are as fussy about weeing outdoors as we are.

I understand your shock (and he's probably mortified that you caught him), but from a "disgusting" point of view, it's no worse than a passing dog weeing up your fence, which I'm sure plenty do.

It sounds as if he isn't taking the break-up too well if he's looking for reassurance that you still love him. ❤️

Luckydog7 · 21/03/2024 13:54

Well I assumed from the title that it was malicious peeing but if it's just him busting for a wee then that's not so bad. Bad yes but unpleasant rather then awful.

Hopefully it was out of sight. Get the hose to wash the area before the grass dies and embaress him as much as possible with it while being relieved he is an ex.

SerenChocolateMuncher · 21/03/2024 13:55

I would give it a 5/10 on the disgusting scale.

mamacorn1 · 21/03/2024 13:55

“No I don’t love you, you peed on my fence so you pretty much sealed your own fate”
that would be my answer to his question

Strugglingtodomybest · 21/03/2024 13:55

1

Could not get upset about this.

5foot5 · 21/03/2024 14:03

Well apparently it discourages foxes

takemeawayagain · 21/03/2024 14:06

He should be embarrassed. I'd just see it as another thing to remind you why he's an ex.

Londonrach1 · 21/03/2024 14:08

Depends...my dad would have had to go as he has prostate problems. Did he really need to go.

Londonrach1 · 21/03/2024 14:10

It is also.recommendes that you get a male to wee around the garden to stop cats and foxes. .I'm not bothered by the way.

YouveGotAFastCar · 21/03/2024 14:15

Eh. I think it's probably a 3/10, as long as he was out of sight from passers-by.

He didn't do it maliciously, he just needed a wee, and didn't want to disturb your call.

Hagbard · 21/03/2024 14:16

I wouldn't like it. An ex pissing on your property seems territorial. Def hose it off

Whatnowfgs · 21/03/2024 14:19

Given that foxes, cats and dogs probably wee on your fence it wouldn't overly worry me.

I would be inclined to keep him as an ex though. It's not very civilised behaviour.

It would be different if he was in forest for a hike or up a mountain. But in a residential area that would be a deal breaker for me unless there were medical issues.

AnotherCountryMummy · 21/03/2024 14:25

It wouldn't end the world for me. I'd think he was a bit of an idiot, but not be outraged.

KreedKafer · 21/03/2024 14:25

So, one minute he's texting you to ask you still love him, and seconds later he's pissing on your fence? Yeah, I'm a bit suspicious about his claim that he was 'just desperate for a pee' to be honest. Without the context, I'd have said 'Well, it's a bit grim but not the end of the world' but I think in the context you've given it's probably more significant.

Either way - he's your ex now so hopefully that's the last you'll see of him.

Just to add - when I first saw the title of your post, I misread it as 'Ex peed on my fiance' and thought 'Yes, that's definitely quite bad...'

Portu · 21/03/2024 14:29

"oh hello ex who won't take my call, I completely accidentally coincidentally got caught short while in your garden and had no option but to piss on your fence" 🤔

Aye.

ns87 · 21/03/2024 14:32

HungryBeagle · 21/03/2024 13:49

It’s pretty rank. Just be glad he’s an ex.

This, 100%

Topseyt123 · 21/03/2024 14:40

Not great obviously. I wouldn't rate it as the most disgusting thing I have ever seen but it isn't civilised or acceptable behaviour from an adult male.

As someone else already said, it seems territorial really. Were you married to a dog?

Singleandproud · 21/03/2024 14:43

If he really was desperate he would have texted you to let him in to use the loo rather than trying to guilt you or whatever into saying you love him.

Either way, it won't do any harm, he looks like an idiot and it's a fantastic reminder why he's an ex.

Riva5784 · 21/03/2024 14:52

Is he the one who told you that you are making a big fuss over nothing? 🤨

It is disgusting. Another reason to be glad that he is your ex.

PossumintheHouse · 21/03/2024 14:53

Was he deliberately hosing the fence with a sheepish grin, or trying to discreetly piss in the corner?

Original poster
Haventbeenhere · 21/03/2024 15:48

Thanks! He was in the corner, but I still can't get over how can an adult grown up man pee on somebody's fence.
Of course I would let him in if I knew he needed to use toilet.
Those sort of behaviours are one of the main reasons I wanted to split. There were more of them ( stupid pranks nobody ever found funny apart from him, inappropriate comments, trespassing someone's garden saying there is a bench so he can sit on it and no-one can stop him because he isn't doing anything wrong, reckless driving with me and his daughter in the car, and so on) and he never saw anything wrong with them. Me, on the other side ended up being a nervous wreck by never knowing what to expect from him and when. Any societal rules were out of the window because he wanted to do his own thing and couldn't care less what anyone thought of that.

The moment I saw him peeing yesterday, I felt confusion, then anger and then a relief knowing I've made the right decision to separate ways with him. But he then said I'm overreacting and it got me thinking whether he is right.

I agree, it is normal for an animal to pee one the fence, and I'm not precious about the fence at all, but surely you would expect more form a grown up adult.

OP posts:
Chatonette · 21/03/2024 15:53

Haventbeenhere · 21/03/2024 15:48

Thanks! He was in the corner, but I still can't get over how can an adult grown up man pee on somebody's fence.
Of course I would let him in if I knew he needed to use toilet.
Those sort of behaviours are one of the main reasons I wanted to split. There were more of them ( stupid pranks nobody ever found funny apart from him, inappropriate comments, trespassing someone's garden saying there is a bench so he can sit on it and no-one can stop him because he isn't doing anything wrong, reckless driving with me and his daughter in the car, and so on) and he never saw anything wrong with them. Me, on the other side ended up being a nervous wreck by never knowing what to expect from him and when. Any societal rules were out of the window because he wanted to do his own thing and couldn't care less what anyone thought of that.

The moment I saw him peeing yesterday, I felt confusion, then anger and then a relief knowing I've made the right decision to separate ways with him. But he then said I'm overreacting and it got me thinking whether he is right.

I agree, it is normal for an animal to pee one the fence, and I'm not precious about the fence at all, but surely you would expect more form a grown up adult.

Right. So he doesn’t follow ‘societal rules’—there’s your answer. Public urination is not acceptable in polite society. In your description above, he sounds like a complete child.

Cathbrownlow · 21/03/2024 15:58

He sounds rather like my ex - thought he was being all zany and funny. The truth was that he was an unboundaried twat who showed me up on numerous occasions. Filthy git, pissing outside.