To wish I had been able to have my babies come naturalky

[Wishihaddone]

I know people will tell me it doesn’t matter and all that matters is that they are healthy and of course this is true but I’d still appreciate being able to share feelings.

When I had DS, I was induced because of my age. I didn’t really know any better and just went along with what I was told. It was a horrible experience which resulted in an emergency section some 72 hours later. I didn’t act mind the section but I was exhausted and very sick and confused, not the best start.

Two and a half years later I was adamant I wasn’t going to be induced so had a planned section at 39 + 6. Much nicer experience but I still wish I’d been able to experience my watered breaking and going into labour naturally. Does anyone else feel the same?

These narratives about what is a natural birth, what is a good mother, what is a real woman, are so dangerous.

you are a real woman.

Another thing I used to think a lot about is women throughout history and elsewhere in the world currently who die in childbirth in shocking numbers. C sections are a life saving miracle and it helped me to reframe my C sections as something we were so, so lucky to have had, as opposed to something that robbed me of a magical experience. The experience they "robbed" me of was likely myself and my child dying. I know this isn't helpful for everyone and some people feel it's invalidating their feelings so apologies if that's how it feels to you. I am just sharing what helped me.

@Fargo79 this is very much how I approach it. I've had two inductions, both ending in a section. I accept that I'll probably never give birth vaginally, and whenever I feel sad about that, which does happen from time to time, I remember that I have two children who were born alive and healthy. Many, many women would have given anything to have had the experiences I had.

I had this exact situation.

Sometimes I do feel wistful that I didn't birth them "naturally", but I try to keep things in perspective.

Plus, if I had have laboured naturally, it might not have gone to plan anyway.

OP YANBU at all!! I totally understand how you feel. I had to have an EMCS at 30 weeks with dc1 which saved both of our lives. DC2 was an unnecessary c-section after cascade of interventions and me not knowing that I could say no. With dc3, I had a forceps delivery and learnt to use the BRAIN acronym. Dc4 was my dream water birth but dc5 was another EMCS after a placental abruption, again saving both of our lives.
Each birth was more healing than the previous one and I am so thankful for my two vaginal deliveries. I had no idea that hormones give you such a high afterwards as I hadn't experienced it with my first two deliveries.
I found it easier to accept the two c-sections that were life-saving for both me and baby. It does matter and having had a consultant last time who understood that and honoured as much of my birth plan as he was able to made all the difference.

I didn't vote because you're not being unreasonable since these are your sentimental desires, but I don't sympathize with them either. I've always been terrified of labor, of the pain, so I had an elective c-section. If I hadn't had that option, I was either going to get an abortion or commit suicide. I am sorry, though, that you didn't get to have the birth experience you wanted.

Well my child has lifelong brain damage from her natural birth.

If someone had said no this baby is distressed we need to intervene, she’d have been a lot better off.

Natural birth really isn’t the be all and end all it’s cracked up to be.

I did hypnobirthing and ended up with a section. I had no choice as cervix was blocked.

I felt very sad that after IVF, I couldn't deliver without medical intervention and when BFing didn't work out either, I felt very sad...

I look on it differently now but that is over a decade later.

I did recover and heal very well from my section while other mums still had tears and all sorts from their vaginal births. I felt a bit of relief that it was all intact in that area.

But no, I never experienced labour either. You mustn't blame yourself for the feelings you have. They just are what they are. Xxx

I had the same situation as you, induced with an emergency c section then a planned c section.

I don't really mind, I mean it would have been nice not to have all the intervention but needs must. I had the opinion of going naturally with #2 but I was so scared of something happening during labour that I opted for an elective c section and don't regret it one bit. It was actually a lovely experience although the recovery pain was worse than the first time!

I'm in awe of people who managed to do it all without any real pain relief, I had everything going and the only thing that helped was an epidural, absolutely lovely that was!

You're entitled to feel that way however I would pick a csection over vaginally due to my experiences.

Ds1 I was enduced with and gave birth vaginally and almost died. I had lost a lot of blood, needed stitches and had 2 blood transfusions and spent 3 days in the icu and 2 more days on the ward and had to fight to go home as i wasnt sleeping. They let me go due to me being at home all the time with my mum as dh had to go back to work.Ds was thankfully doing well.

Ds2 was a planned csection as I didn't want history to repeat its self though was fully aware of complications that could have arised. I was out hospital within the 24 hrs.