To be in this job and feel poor?

[fedippp]

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

Will your salary increase in the future?

I assume that you are a doctor, hence the large long uni fees. In which case do you not want to move up in the profession, in future years.

Surely you should recognise that living in a house you own, by yourself, in your mid thirties is a massive achievement.

Get a cheaper car.

Your mortgage is about a third, slightly more of your take home pay, what are you spending everything else on?

I understand, I earn similar but my mortgage is less than half that (because I’m older and bought when properties were relatively cheaper), I don’t have a student loan and I don’t have any car repayments at the moment, so already I’m at least £1000 better off a month than you probably are. I don’t think people realise how much more expensive living on your own is too, broadband costs the same as for a household, gas and electric probably aren’t much less as you’re still heating a house or cooking a meal, you only get a third off council tax etc.

Please do a budget OP, I like the MSE excel download.

I earn 55k, with a £1200 mortgage, single and with student loans (plan 1). I save about £600 pcm, not including pension. This isn't to brag, and I'm lucky to not have any other debt, but just wanted to give you some optimism that it can work

Sorry didn't realise you have 2 kids. Of course your option is the only option available for millions of people in your position. So nothing new. Good luck.

@Zanatdy lots of lovely homes up North for 250k. It sounds like you have a good plan. I have lived in London (Putney and Barnes so not sure that counts as London). I’m a northerner. I work in healthcare and IMO the underbelly of society is pretty much the same in the middle wherever you live.

4-5k a month on 58k? I’m on 63k and my take home pay is £3500, or thereabouts. No student loans, all paid off years ago, but I do pay around £380 a month pension contribution (set amount, I don’t over pay). So OP will be on nowhere near 4-5k a month. When someone gives a salary it’s always gross, and the higher over 50k you are, the more tax you’re paying

I am similar. I have a high salary, but am the only adult in my household and I have two children one at Uni. Interest rates and inflation mean that I am struggling in a way I didn't a few years ago. The OP needs to see if there are any savings she can make. Also, my observations is that people on low incomes are really not surviving at all at present - just going into debt. And, if the OP is a doctor, things will improve and she will get a pension. I remember meeting a very experienced barister on a large salary and she said that - as a single woman - she has always lived a student lifestyle. Then she got to retirement age and realised that she actually had some money (from putting money into a pension)

But the general point about life being more expensive when you are single does stand.

The assumption that there are two people paying the bills makes everything much more expensive for single people

7 years ? A doctor ?

Can you relocate to a cheaper area?

Can a potential employer assist with removal costs?

For those people suggesting a lodger, is this something you have tried personally and is it plain sailing? I agree with the op that it's a shame after so much effort and hard work that trying to make ends meet is so very hard. I do empathise.

Objectively OP you are not poor, but I understand your feel poor, because you invested in education and assumed you would see a good Return on Investment. In fact you do have an above average salary. But obviously you can point to people who did shorter periods of study and now earn more. But would you want/be suited to those careers? Maybe yes, maybe no. You don’t mention hating your chosen career path, just resenting the lack of money that it now pays. Job satisfaction has a lot of value, and ultimately you may see some of your well-paid peers become jaded with their well-paid jobs, whereas perhaps you are less likely to if you’ve followed a passion not a pay cheque?

Returning to why you feel poor… as pp have mentioned this is a lot about your perception of “where you should be” in your mid 30s. In reality living as a single person is extremely expensive. Owning property as a single person is tough. I didn’t attempt to purchase property until I had a partner I planned to marry; prior to that I/we rented rooms in shared houses. Then in our first house we let our spare room for a few years. I didn’t resent any of that one little bit - it was a plan that seemed prudent and sensible and allowed us to ride out that difficult period as we were establishing ourselves financially. Nearly all my single friends purchased one bedroom apartments, so you have set your sights quite high.
You ARE building equity, albeit that is costing more than you expected. And you feel poor because cash is tight and you didn’t expect to be trimming your lifestyle after making it through a long period of study when you were indeed poor.

I get that it’s disappointing but you can shift your approach and make some different choices (eg take a lodger) and come out winning.

Thanks. Yes I love the south east, been here 23yrs but I’ve been split from my ex 13yrs now and made a commitment to stay local so kids could see their dad and not be up and down the motorways if I moved back north (where my family are and old school friends). So it’s been a long time coming and I’m only now in a position to buy but it doesn’t feel worth buying a flat for 2yrs and not when I’d be paying 50% of my salary for that. Plus service charges - some are £250 a month!! It’s madness for a small flat.
I’d have to get a second job and I’ve got a long term painful health condition and a very busy stressful day job. DD starts 6th form in Sep and then I can feel like I’m on a proper count down. It’s depressing spending so much on rent £1350) but it means I can still save a few hundred per month towards the house.

I know I’m in a better position than many but like OP I feel like I’ve worked really hard, and it feels like I’m so far behind everyone else my age. It’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Money isn’t everything though and I have a lot of nice friends and my kids are amazing, perfect teens. Life could be much worse and one day soon I’ll be proud as punch to have bought my own place with zero help. Just a bit later than most!!

I have 3 kids but one is older and lives up north, but he still comes to visit too!!

I get it, on paper I should be okay in reality I'm sat here looking at next months shopping wondering where I can cut costs. I don't have dinner two days a week (I don't get home from work until quite late so don't feel like cooking and I get fed at my parents one evening).

It's things like mortgage going up, council tax going up, car insurance going up, rent going up (I live in shared ownership), mobile phone going up, all within months of each other. It's much harder taking on all this as a single person.

I can't take a lodger as I work from home 4 days a week, so don't have the spare room as my spare room is my office.

I think you’ve done amazing to be on such a high salary at 35 and own your own home.

I am a couple of years younger than you and on less than half, with a child and in rented accommodation.

You should feel very proud of what you have achieved.

Your biggest issue is your high mortgage.

You either need a find a way to get this down (like changing mortgage companies or moving but I don’t know anything about these things) or find more money (like getting a lodger).

It’s absolutely shocking that someone on such a high wage, who has worked hard to get there can be struggling so much and it’s really unfair that the CoL has risen so much but wages have stayed the same.

We have a joint income of 68k to feed 3 kids, 2 adults and a mortgage on a 4 bed house!! I consider us lucky.

You have mortgage and good credit (I'm assuming) a lot in a worse position, I earn less than that a lot of people do. Give yourself props. Nothing wrong with breakfast for dinner either

Also is there any side hustles you can do? Cleaning homes, pet sitting, bars? Don't be to proud, you need the money, it is what it is and you will get out of this situation.

Totally understand where you are coming from. But you'll get roasted on here. Anyone earning over £30k is seen as rolling in it.

Yep! And usually by someone who conveniently forgets that they receive the equivalent of £30k a year in benefits.

Yup! Tax free to boot!

If someone is receiving benefits of 30k, has dependants (which is the only way they'll get anywhere near as much as this) and is managing, surely the OP shouldn't be struggling on double this alone though?

I am really not extravagant. I own two pairs of jeans and a handful of jumpers/tops. Never go on holiday, couldn’t possibly afford it.

I just realised I made a mistake with my mortgage repayment, it’s up to 1,500 not 1,300! Then council tax is 140 (with the single person discount). Have the heating on an hour a day, gas and electric bill was 240 last month.

I am under huge pressure at work and just feel really disillusioned I guess. Had I known I would be scraping by, I wouldn’t have bothered in the first place. Not for this level of stress.

@Trulyme thanks for the encouraging words. I have felt so fed up and frankly like an absolute failure recently. So many friends didn’t go into this profession and they seem to have a much higher standard of living.