To be in this job and feel poor?

[fedippp]

I trained for seven years, reasonably large student loan etc, to end up age 35 on 58k, and barely anything left at the end of the month!!! Mortgage is 1300 for a 2 bed semi, (up from 800 last year). Student loans are still hundreds a month. I have a car on finance as I couldn’t save house deposit and car deposit, need car for work. I eat beans on toast 3 nights a week. I feel like an idiot. I missed out on so much in my twenties to get into a decent job that I thought paid well and it seems to have been a waste of time! Does anyone else feel this way? I feel so disheartened.

I agree op that sounds depressing. It's partly because the UK has economically stagnated a lot over the past few years (during austerity and brexit)

That seems like a high gas and electric bill if you only use the heating an hour a day.

Are you on one of those schemes where they estimate your usage and charge you a flat monthly amount. If so they may be overcharging you. Or do you use the dryer a lot?

The big drains on power are normally from heat of various kinds.

If the OP had said "AIBU to feel disappointed by how little I can afford after working hard for my career" I would have answered differently.

She said "AIBU to feel poor". Which is bound to irritate people who are managing on less. A lot of people do have to manage on less.

OP says she studied/trained for seven years,(medic?) so that will certainly add up to a hefty student loan.
i also don't think her salary is that high, have dc just a couple of years older but earning over 20k pa more than that. (And they still can't afford to buy a property in outer London, they need a huge deposit.)
They are certainly not struggling but it takes a really long while to save for an acceptable desposit. Their rent is more than the OP's mortgage payment.

I think the issue here is your expectations, OP. You say you 'resent' the possibility of having to take a lodger, but if you live alone in a two-bedroomed house, essentially your second bedroom could be someone's home - and you don't want it to be. The simple solution would be to move somewhere with one bedroom, which would be much cheaper and you'd still have the place to yourself.

These sort of posts annoy me. We have less coming in and are a family with a disabled child, childcare fees the usual…

@fedippp if you want to live in an expensive area, as a single household and have a car on finance then you need to earn more or adapt.

Living alone is a luxury. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have a lodger to top up income considering the mortgage repayments have increased, or to consider getting rid of the finance car and buying a cheaper car, or to look at moving to a cheaper area… any number of options.

We are living in a post pandemic world with a different economy, a lot of people have had to feel the heat of this for 4 years already… apparently when it bites the middle classes everyone is supposed to feel sorry they can’t afford single households, 2 cars, multiple holidays and so on.

Just no.

Just because you trained for a job doesn’t mean you are immune from economic realities.

Try and work on solutions.

I think you need to sit down and do an actual budget. The internet gives a number of $3500 income each month after tax. Actually said a bit more, but I like to be conservative. minus 1500 leaves 2000. 600 to debt, 1400. other tax and utilities 400. leaves 1000. 200 for phone and assorted bills like internet. 800. car insurance varies, so somewhere between 50-200 month. 600 left. So, how much of that is car and petrol? Can you get a personal loan with a lower interest to pay your current loans? Or refinance lower? Other than that, don't see anything you can do besides get a second source of income or a roommate. Or look for for a similar job that pays more or try to get a larger salary someway. Or get a cheaper car with lower insurance. Or do as much as you can of any of it. There are forecasts of interest rates going down in the next year or two.

It will be worth it. Just don't look to previous generations!

Almost all of your big bills will one day go and you will be in a really good financial position. You will have a highly paid job and work options others don't have. You are paying a mortgage and property is a huge long term financial investment. Presumably you are paying into a pension. Many people dont have the options you have. You could sell your house or car. You could take in a lodger. You could take a lower paid job in order to stop repaying your student loans. You can be proud of your achievements.

Times have been bad but interest rates are falling. It will get better.

I am envious. I trained for 5 years in one field and 3 in another. I am on £32k pro rata (for four days) and £150 a day for my freelance day (which ends soon and I have no idea if I will find further work following it). I am older than you by a few years too.

But thinking like that gets us nowhere. I am grateful for what I have while striving for better. I agree you might benefit from some advice on how to budget better.

Thinking about people I know, the one who earns the most has the least disposable income because he bought a swanky fast car which costs him more per month than his mortgage (on finance). I bought a second hand old sports car for a few £. Looks decent, has lasted a long time but costs me very little overall.
I live in a cheap area, which I realise is lucky. I live alone but not through choice, I'd have loved to have met someone and had a family but it just didn't work out that way.

I'm sorry but yes it was. Houses cost far more relative to salaries now. It's not even up for debate really.

Sorry to hear this OP, must be demoralising. Have you spoken to a financial advisor? They may be able to help you consolidate your loans and get the costs down a bit. Also, the lodger, depending on where you live, you could just get someone who stays Monday night to Thursday night, or even less nights if they work flexibly. I'm sure it feels like you shouldn't have to, but imagine how much easier your life will feel with extra money.

If you want gratitude that will be the £1 of every £10 paid in tax going solely to state pensions, which will likely be means tested and taken away or start age 71 when it's our turn.

I was with you until you thought it was your place to dictate people have to leave their family home when it’s just them left in it.

That is the decision of the person owning the house and theirs alone. Maybe they stay for emotional reasons. Maybe it’s the neighbours. Or the proximity to their church or the shops.

Whatever the reason it’s not yours to make.

As others have said, you earn a decent amount but because you live alone and have a few higher monthly expenses you may be struggling. Your mortgage is quite high for one person to pay alone, most people split with a partner all the bills you've discussed. You need to look at your budgeting again and see where you can cut down.

Living alone is a luxury.. get a grip! It’s madness that we are living in an economy where someone’s earning 58k and struggling to live alone. OP is not the problem

Life is a long game and you’re only 35. In 10 years (or however long) you’ll have paid off your debts and have a much higher salary than most. That’s when all the studying etc will have paid off. But your energy costs are huge for one person - there’s definitely money to be saved there.

Living alone is a luxury

Hilarious. Maybe getting married and having kids is a luxury?
In reality neither is a luxury and this type of infighting helps no one.

You have every right to feel this way. You’ve worked hard and are not seeing the results you expected (and had every right to expect). I would hate having a lodger too. Can you pick up some additional income other ways?

To have a comfortable quality of life, and contribute to a prosperous future, most people can’t live alone and it is very naive to suggest otherwise.

Ffs. Living alone is not a luxury. There is nothing more depressing than a 40-something yesr old looking for a shared house because that's all they can afford even though they have a FT professional job (a conversation I just had with a dear friend - and the boat I'd be in if I had met dh).
I literally have friends who can't afford to divorce. And I also spent 10 years studying, though luckily I got paid for some of it.

I feel like the generational gap of understanding realities of life is just beyond ridiculous sometimes. My mum's friend told me I could afford a bigger house if I just had less takeaways. Hadn't realised that the £60 a month to uber eats would get me an extra bedroom!

Didn’t say she was.

Everything is incredibly harsh and intolerable.

But if she chooses to live in an expensive area in the current economic environment, living alone is a luxury.

YANBU. i have a masters degree and over a decade in a career i was very dedicated to. now at 37 i don’t know what i’ve been working for, so hard to have a good standard with how expensive everything is, it’s like being on a hamster wheel!

Living alone and paying the household bills on a sole income is tough, I've done it solo for 25 years and on a lower wage than yourself but I can sympathise with the mortgage increase 😔.
Your car loan is probably the easiest fix. Just get rid of it and get a cheaper runabout to get by for 2 or 3 years until the financial storm hopefully blows over.
Also, as others have said, consider a lodger, but choose carefully 😉.
Good luck.

First of all, I get it. I'm on a larger salary than you and I also feel like I'm still having to be financially frugal. You've followed the rules, but the games keeps changing. On that salary, you should be comfortable but you're not.

The reality is that we were a generation raised with certain expectations of working hard and being rewarded, but we've been screwed over by myriad factors:

1. Salaries have not kept up with inflation. The average salary in 2008 was around £25K. The equivalent salary today is worth about £51K based on inflation, but the actual average salary is just shy of £35K.
2. University was pushed as the way to advance yourself, yet tuitions fees kept rising and rising, and so has debt. Students graduating are essentially saddled with an extra tax which can be hundreds of pounds out of their pay check that older students did not have.
3. House prices have risen far above inflation. In the 50s buying a house cost about twice the average annual salary - so in today's money, that's £70K. For a house! Nowadays buying a house costs about 8.7x the average salary. Literally even if you can scrape together enough money for a deposit, its near impossible for someone on the average salary to get a mortgage that's big enough to buy a property, and if you can its often a leasehold property which comes with myriad extra costs and issues.
4. There's more to buy with your money now and in the 21st century we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to make us want to part with our money. Resistance is futile.
5. Dating is harder and people are staying single for longer. Being single is more expensive, so it takes people longer to build up any financial security. And dating is also harder, and more expensive than it once was.
6. Childcare costs! For those that do settle down, due to myriad factors (see above points) its not feasible for most couple's to have a stay at home parent. In fact the macroeconomic benefits of having two income families have been heavily encouraged by most governments globally... but this means most families now do need to pay for childcare, and the UK childcare costs are higher than many other countries, and between 2010 and 2021 UK child care costs grew twice as fast as average earnings
7. Debt! Debt is positively encouraged - going back to constant advertising and temptation, marketers are ready to manipulate you and encourage impulse purchasers - enter the likes of klarma, and of cars on finance. Its a lot easier to buy what you shouldn't afford, whereas historically you would have had to save and save to purchase, now you purchase, and then have to constantly pay off your debt.

So yes, its tough. But the reality is, your doing a lot better than a lot of other folks. Unfortunately if you may have to compromise a little bit, in budgeting and reducing your cost of living or by increasing your income a little.

If someone said to me I'd be 35, and in the top 10% of earners I'd be thrilled. I would not have envisaged myself living in a one bed flat, with driving what is essentially a student car.

It doesn't feel fair, but its where we are at.... the glory of late stage capitalism and the growing wealth inequality.

I don’t think her issue is that she is ‘poor’. It’s that she has worked hard and studied for 7 years to get into a career that in previous generations would have provided I high quality of life for an entire family

Well it doesn’t feel great but it’s not a waste is it? You could be in a lower paid job and struggling more to get by, with little hope
of getting on the housing ladder. It is likely your earning potential will increase over time.

My job pays significantly less than yours. I did 9 years of uni and my level of qualifications are absolutely necessary for my role. On top of that I have 10 years experience. Yeah it’s not amazing but it’s the line of work I chose and I’m much better off than many.