To want to leave London

[CactusMactus]

Just that really?
Would I be so unreasonable to want to leave London even though DP's office is central London?
I WFH.
School aged kids... have no idea where we would go!

Yes, leave London. DH can ask about hybrid working.

Look along the train lines to wherever his office is. Places like Harlow, Cheshunt, Stevenage, St Albans etc. seem far out, but there are fast trains that get you into London in 20-30 minutes and you get a lot more bang for your buck with houses.

Everyone is different. I studied in London and worked there for another 6 years. I hated it - noisy, dirty, dangerous, crowded, unfriendly, expensive - so I left as soon as my career was established. And I would never raise a child there.

But some people love it.

You need to go with your own instincts.

I'm only leaving in a box, but if you've got young kids I can understand.

I feel a bit daft tbh - I have only ever lived in London and my parents are still here but I am terrified if I move out I can never afford to come back...
But equally we really can't afford London anymore.

Where did you go?

What do you mean by London, are you in central or suburbs?

Why now? Apart from the cost, it seems a bit extreme when your kids are in school here and your DH works here, your family's here, you've not lived elsewhere and you don't know where else to go. I mean, you should absolutely start to investigate the possibilities - and there are tons of threads on here with good suggestions and debate by people wanting to move out - but it's worth drilling down into all the motivators making you want to move first, and seeing if a total change makes sense or maybe just a move to a cheaper area.

Zone 3 - quite suburban. Good primary.. secondary are mixed bag.
DP's office is Zone 1. Half an hour commute.

I'm a born and bred Londoner. You'd never have been able to take me out of London... until I had kids. I grew up in south-west London but now I live within a 1hr commute of Liverpool Street. Our 5-bed house cost less than the 1-bedroom flat I was going to buy just before I had kids (thank god I didn't).

I love how quiet it is, and how nursery is literally half the price of the nursery I was trying to get my children into when we did live in London. I mean, it's not perfect out here, but damn, I don't think I'd want to go back unless I lived in a really nice area.

Why do you want to? You say because you can’t afford London any more? Do you mean housing or something else?

why do you want to move and do your DCs/DH?

Motivators:
Mortgaged up to the eyes - would be good to have a bit of extra cash.
I wfh so can be anywhere.
Kids years 3 & 5 so I'm worrying about secondary. They may not get into the decent secondary.
House still needs loads of work and we can't afford to do it. Kitchen depresses me!
Would be nice to have more space in case my parents get old and need to live with us...

Sevenoaks is half hour commute into central. Tonbridge is 40 minutes It would be a more expensive commute for him- but offset by better value property. There are some good fast stations outside of London which wouldn’t impact on his commute time

Okay so all those are good reasons and your kids are still young so uprooting them from schools is not such an issue. Might be tricky getting them both places in the same primary as each other esp if it's good/over-subscribed, but once that's sorted you can have a more straightforward shift to secondary. So yeah YANBU, and now's a good time to check out those other threads and start looking into home counties that suit your DH commute and all of that. Hitchen is always the starter for 10 on here for these discussions, but all depends on budget, whether you want to go north/south/east/west and so on.

Pretend you've moved. Where? What's better or worse?

For example, if husband keeps his job, what dies hat commute look like? Can you work around that? Will you feel isolated or like he isnt pulling his weight if you have to do mornings and evenings as he is commuting?

How does your dh feel about a longer commute, or can he change jobs

There are lots of places within about 45 min of central London. Maybe go for some day trips over the Easter weekend. You will want to move fairly quickly though if you are going to be in place for yr7 applications in October. Consider whether you want to be in a grammar school area or not and any deadlines for registering for 11 plus.

His work is quite flexible so I think he would be happy to commute 2-3 day a week. But we would need enough space for us both to work from home... atm we are both on the kitchen table which is fine... but annoying to have to pack everything away everyday.

Do you think moving once they are in secondary is a really bad idea?
We never moved when I was a kid - I was born in the house my parents still live in so it's a genuine question.

'where did you go?'

Hampshire. Far enough for the air to be cleaner and the house prices to be slightly more sane. But still on a 45 minute train ride in to Waterloo when needed.

I'd move now. Primary ages.

I moved out of London to Oxfordshire
Commutable to Marylebone on the Chiltern line.

Found a lovely market town with the station a mile away. Great schools.
Moved out here when DD14 was 2.

It's not terrible, but seeing as you can avoid it, makes much better sense to do it before the secondary applications for your eldest. Nothing is likely to change if you wait, except that your DS will get into the 'not decent' secondary there and then have to take pot luck of what's available in the area you move to. The only reason to delay is if you don't really want to move and will be reassured when he's in that secondary that it's actually fine and you're happy to stay put.

Depends where you move to, Kent is on the Grammar school system, which makes it harder if you want to access the most academically outstanding schools

OP do you both have driving licences? I’ve met people from London who don’t…would be necessary nearly everywhere outside of London.

We both have driving licences. I don't love driving though... I don't mind driving.... I'm not a big fan of the parking bit - but that also is a London thing.. that you can't park anywhere, ever!