Who needs looked after more

[Postmanpet]

Person A is torn between helping two important people.

Person A’s dad (person B) is currently in hospital after breaking their hip. He is in his 70s and has a few underlying health conditions. Person A lives 2 hours drive away from his family. He planned to go and stay with his mum for two nights and visit his dad in hospital. He is likely to be in hospital for a number of weeks.

Person A’s wife is pregnant (person C) and has picked up a sickness bug. She is being sick every 30 mins and has been for the last 15 hours. She would probably be fine on her own but they have a dog who needs walking twice and no one else to take her if Person A wasn’t here

Who should Person A be with today?

YABU = person B (his dad)
YANBU = person C (his wife)

Wife, hands down

Can he take the dog with him to his Mum’s so he is able to walk it between hospital visits?
if Dad is likely to be in hospital for a few weeks are there other relatives who can take turns helping the Mum?

If pregnant wife is that sick does she need to visit hospital to prevent dehydration? Can she keep down fluids?

Wife.

Wife, who will be better quickly, then he can visit his dad. If there were no dog, the wife would be fine, but there is.

I'm not sure what he will do that's useful for either, but the dad will be more in need of company. The risk of taking a vomiting disease into hospital means he should stay home though.

Absolutely his wife, unless he can take the dog with him. He should visit his parents in a few days once his wife is better.

Currently the wife. If dad is going to be in hospital for several weeks he can visit him when wife is better.

What a horrible dilemma. Start by booking the dog if at all possible into kennels. If not possible contact local dog walking service so that's one thing you can tick off your worry list. I would wait a couple of days until person C is on the mend, dehydration is dangerous. Keep in phone contact with person B. go as soon as reasonably possible. Does father's wife have friends who can help? Contact them.

He shouldn’t risk taking a sickness bug to a hospital. And his wife needs him.

Could he delay going to see his Mum and Dad for a day or two until his wife is feeling a little better? It sounds like his parents would really benefit from a visit but they may not mind waiting a short time. Sickness bugs usually only last a couple of days, so hopefully a short delay would allow him to help all three of these people he cares about.

His wife because there's a risk he brings a vommiting bug into the hospital

And also if the wife is vomiting every 30mins there's risk of dehydration, she needs someone keeping an eye

Unless there's a drip feed on its way indicating that these are the only two days in the whole year he will be able to travel to see his father, then wife, definitely. She needs support today and there's nothing spoiling over with his parents.

Thank you! His dad has lots of family members visiting him but of course his son wants to see him and his mum following the fall.

His wife (me if I hadn’t made it obvious enough) is waiting for the GP to open at 9.

Good point re vomiting bug in hospital

I’m with you. As his dad has other family members there , it’s fine for him to visit another day. I’d say differently if it was a life or death situation though.

But I hope you feel better OP!

Hmm, I'm definitely biased here, but two of my grandparents have died within a couple of months of hip fractures. If it happened to one of my parents, I'd be with them like a shot. Dog can go to kennels.

As other posters have pointed out, it would not be advisable for the Husband to visit his dad, on the chance that he could be harbouring a sickness bug, any way.

The wife ffs.

What an areas for asking!

Husband lacks imagination

A 2 hour drive can be done in a day

7am walk dog and set up provisions for wife
8-10am drive
10-4pm visit
4-6 drive
6-7pm check on wife and walk dog

This sounds like the perfect solution

For what it's worth, I think he should be with his dad anyway.

Nobody at the hospital will be thanking him for bringing a bug in. His mum won't be thanking him if she ends up with it
His dad is in hospital. His needs are being met. His wife needs him. She has no nursing staff.
He can wait until his wife is better and make sure he isn't incubating the vomiting bug before going.

Regardless of who takes priority here, he CANNOT risk taking a sickness bug into an elderly person ward in a hospital.

His wife, definitely. When she's recovered he should leave it a week before visiting his dad, so he doesn't spread it.

Regardless of who needs them most, they shouldn't be going into a hospital if they live with someone with a sickness bug. So that makes the decision straight forward. (but also - father is in hospital being looked after by professionals)

@Postmanpet As others have said, There shouldn't be any question of your husband going to visit his Parents while there is any any chance of him taking a vomiting bug with him which could then pass to his Mum and also his Dad in the hospital which as others get it too. It could then mean a ward has to be closed a sit spreads in the hospital........ OK worst case scenario, but it is a possibility.

Also - he might go down with the bug himself while he is driving. Which could be very dangerous

Hopefully you'll get over it very quickly and he won't catch it, but his Dad is being looked after and has visitors, so a delay of a few days won't affect anything.

The wife.

There are health care staff in hospital looking after dad , providing meals and encouraging mobility.