Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed over this ?

[blueyavocado]

Basically I gave birth three weeks ago, typical newborn stage at the moment with baby feeding every 2-3 hours (or 30 mins lol). MIL said I'm sleeping too much! I'm sometimes only getting 2-3 hours a night with waking and a nap in the evening when DP comes home from work.

At the moment I want to try and establish his feeding and rest a bit myself as having little sleep makes me feel unbalanced so I'm prioritising him and sleep for myself. A couple of times I've been so exhausted I've fallen asleep feeding him which is super dangerous. I didn't get anytime to rest for the first 2 weeks we visitors kept coming around.

She also asked whether I had gone out with him today and that I should get out daily. I have been getting out, but not every day.

Basically I'm annoyed because she doesn't seem to get that I can't do everything I'm trying to prioritise baby, myself and DP and take care of my basic needs too. AIBU for feeling annoyed ?

YANBU. You are keeping you and baby alive. Anything else is a bonus at this stage! And it's great that you're getting out

She needs to be told to keep her opinions to herself.

She needs to mind her own business.

My midwife told me to sleep when baby did.

Just ignore her and do what you want

She needs to back off a bit. Depending on your relationship and what you feel up to, I'd either tell her directly that you're doing the best you can at the moment (on repeat, until it sinks in that she's not helping), or have your DH communicate this to her.

Is she out of her mind? Newborn baby stage is usually very tough as you have broken sleep .. please sleep when the baby sleeps n give no heed to what you're mil says.

My would (and did) tell his mother to wind her neck in under similar circumstances. She needs firmly reminding that she's Grandma, you're Mum, and you'll do as you see fit. If she can't visit without pushing and criticising, then she doesn't visit.

Ime you need to nip this in the bud now. I get really annoyed by the threads on here titled ‘why do mil’s get such harsh treatment’, or ‘mil’s are so scared of being banned from the family because they can’t do anything right’. It’s really not hard to use common sense, and to simply not be a complete fcuking bitch. My mil was the opposite to yours. I was told I should be ‘forcibly confined for 4 weeks’ like when she gave birth. Me and dh popped out with the baby a week after she was born to have a cup of tea and a pasty in the pound shop. Apparently my reckless actions would ‘put her back in the hospital’. God forbid what she would have said if she’d found out I’d done an Asda shop and the school run on the way home from the hospital. I say put your foot down now incase you end up where I’m at, we went full no contact with my mil ten years ago as 2 kids later I couldn’t stand her anymore

Does she live near you?
How is she getting information? Don't tell her anything and grey rock.
Your DH needs to tell her to mind her own business.

She's completely out of order.

Is DH whinging to her?

tell her you'll sleep when you're tired. Just tell her you've been out for a walk, you don't have to tell her the truth!!

if she keeps banging on, just be firm with her! YOU will sleep when YOU want to/can & you'll go out when YOU want to.

or start giving her advice about what they say elderly women should do/not do... goose /gander.

YANBU. Having very recently been through the newborn stage I'm fairly confident theres no such thing as too much sleep. My baby is coming up to 6 months and sleep is still a challenge. Take it while you can! Absolutely!

I always hate the "get out of the house everyday", "fresh air", mentality. Great in theory but not necessarily right for everyone. Do what works for you. Including ignoring MIL.

Ugh, the "you have to leave the house everyday" drove me nuts. I live rurally, so it meant packing up the car every day to go to a park or walk aimlessly around a shopping centre. I did it, because I felt so much pressure. The amount of times I had to pull over to feed baby or just calm her down was ridiculous and I was living on shit food. And my baby had no routine. I am about to have baby number 2 and I'm looking forward to telling everyone and their comments to piss off.
Ignore you your MIL. She is wrong, only you know what is right.

Tell your m i l to keep her yap shut

yanbu at all but who is feeding this information back to her to make her so awfully critical? I’d say no visitors for the next few weeks no questioning me on what the hell im doing we need our privacy and to establish a routine (like we should of done initially.) Bubye untill I’m ready!

Anyone who didnt push a small human out of their parts 3 weeks ago does not get to have an opinion on this.

Yeah I never got the rest I needed initially, we live with her and she had friends coming around everyday

You need to move out into your own place

Tell her to F.O. You need your sleep for your sanity.x

She thinks you're sleeping too much? With a newborn?
She's completely fucking insane, bonkers, crackers, batshit, and interfering to boot. Keep your distance, take no notice, tell your DH he HAS TO have your back and move out ASAP.
Failing that, drown her. 🙄

I just sat on the sofa eating biscuits with my boobs out at that stage.

You definitely need to move out

How does she know?

Ignore her, and don't answer her messages

Well if you live with her and have brought a newborn baby into her home, then you have to put up with it.

Move out.

Focus all your spare energy on moving out

Are you the poster that made cupcakes and a roast on Mother's Day and you have to keep the house clean for her? It sounds like the same mil problem. You definitely need to move out. This is your life until you do.