to expect other peole and their children to treat my home with respect.

[Joash]

I am totally fed up of other peoples kids being pains in the bloody arse when they come to my house.
For example, in the past month, I have had a set of three siblings, and another pair of siblings, who, (no matter how much I tell them not to) use my sofa and footstool as a trampoline; constantly climb on and stand on the dining table; pull books off the bookshelves and either rip the pages or throw them around, twist around in the curtains until them pull the poles down; pull the hold-back thingymabobs out of the wall,throw CD's around; empty the cupboards onto the floor, deliberately break GS's toys (to the point that when he knows they are coming, he takes all his stuff upstairs); shove enough loo roll down the toilet to repeatedly block it, or just unroll complete rolls and leave it all over the bathroom, will not keep out of my desk or filing cabinet drawers, etc etc.
These are not babies or toddlers - they are all between 5 and 8 years old. It's getting to the point where I am seriously considering telling their parents to stop bringing them around.
Tried talking to one the mums about the sofa-trampoline thing one of them answered "well, thats the advantage of paying so much for it - at least its guaranteed for another few year yet" IT'S NOT F*CKING GUARANTEED AGAINST BRATS JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON IT!!!!!!!!
I just want them to have some respect for my things.

And their mothers can't seem to understand a simple request to remove their muddy and wet shoes on the very large mats before treading on my cream carpets - one in particular walks into the living room and sits on the sofa to remove hers - aaarrrggghhhhh!!!

This would piss me off too. To be honest I think the mums are more to blame than their children although I appreciate they're not babies... And even if they don't mind this behaviour at home if you have told them about this then they should respect what you ask in your home even if they wouldn't give a shit in theirs!

No, YANBU

Why are you entertaining these people?
One of my (dear) firends has truly awful children adn I don't invite them over anymore.I just see her on her own for lunch.

YANBU - perhaps when these mums want to meet up again, you suggest a neutral venue or drop into the conversation that you would prefer it not to be in your house ...

bloody hell! what do mean you are 'getting to point of saying don't come round', you must be saintly, the red mist would have come down for me by now.

i hate this sort of behaviour, if they want to trash things tell them to fuck off home and trash their own stuff, not your hard earn't!!!

These kids are allowed to do what they want at home as both mothers apparently watched the same ridiculous TV programme which informed them that children should not have boundaries as they will then become better at developing their own.
I have no problems with babies and toddlers touching things, they have to leanr what they should and shouldn't do - but over 5's is bloody ridiculous IMO.

I have given up on playdates for the same reason. One of my DS friends (aged 7) walked into the house, out into the garden, picked up a stick and smashed our shed window! His mother (a police officer) was mortified. Obviously 'he's never done this sort of thing before'. Yeah, right. I found out later that he'd knocked himself unconscious bouncing, and falling off, another child's bunk bed a week later. LOL.

They did this in your home and you invited them in again? Why?

Joash

Does your gs want nthem to come round, if not I'd stop inviting them, if he does I might give it another chance but
I think you need to make some very clear rules with these children when they arrive and with clear consequences if they don't follow the rules.

e.g

Ok, before you start playing here are the rules in this house
List rules

If you break these rules then xxx will happen.

You need to think about what rules you set and the consequenses you give because they need to be things that are reasonable and that you can carry through on.

Generally speaking children usually respect other adults they don't know well better then they do their parents so if these children don't then I'd be inclined not to invite them again even if your gs likes them.

And like moondog, I've also got a lovely friend whose kid I can't stand. So I see her in the evening, sans kids.

You can work something out there's lots of options.

Thats what I am dreading - playdates in the school hols. I just feel that I should do my bit. We go round to their homes, and, don't get me wrong, GS can be a little bugger - but he does not trash other peoples things and he wouldn't even think about using furniture as a trampoline - he even told me off when I was playing with him and trying to get him to jump in his bed .

If they want no boundaries for their children that is fine (although mad in my book) in their own home but totally out of order in yours. Perhaps they should be teaching their children that differnt rules apply in different places.

I hate that crap bout 'my children need to learn their own boundaries and I won't say no to them' when what results is this sort of behaviour. Like another poster said tell them to fuck off and trash their own house!

I think it's definately going to have to be the child free option.

One of their houses is already trashed.

The other thing is that it probably wouldn't have bothered me quite so much when we had money. Now we are living on a very tight budget - what we have, is going to have to last a very long time it makes me so bloody angry.

i agree with Lazycow. we all know kids who are angels with some people and devils with others, and it's all driven by what the hosts will tolerate.

Much easier to manage if they come without their mums - you can be pretty tough if it's just you and the kids, but if mum is there you are in grave danger of offending her. But then so what? do you want your gs pickng up their habits?

are you full time carer for your gs? if not, what does his mum/dad/guardians think about this?

We have GS full time (on a residence order). Actually, it makes no difference to me whether their parents are here or not - I am not known for my tact and diplomacy and do tell it like it is, I just cannot seem to get through to these two women.

Good grief I'd be horrified if my stepson (7) did this around someone's house! You can invite him around to play with your dgs - I can guarantee he won't trash your house, will always own up to accidental spillages of food and drink and he even helps me take the dishes into the kitchen!
I just wouldn't have around, it sounds as if even if you did lay down the rules they'll still ignore them. During the summer could you not just hsve them out in the garden or take them to the local park?

i don't think that money should should even come into it, children should be bought up to respect other peoples property - sod letting them find their own bounderies, let them now they have reached YOUR boundery and bloody well behave or GO HOME!

Jesuswhatnext:

LOLOLOL

at
"tell them to fuck off and trash their own stuff"

I am imagining the look on the little feckers darlings face!!!!

They sound strange.

You must have the patience of a saint!!

ANY children in my house have to abide by the same rules as my own children, I would not tolerate that kind of behaviour and would be serioulsy pissed of at the monthers for not doing anything!

I went to pick up DS1 (7) from his friends houe last week and his mum commented how well behaved and polite he was
I would expect no less and if he was not going to behave then he wouldn't be going!

well purpleduck, their mothers can hardly complain abuot swear words, the little sweethearts are 'finding bounderies' after all

I did banish them all to the garden last year - they broke the gate at least eight times, broke every single one of the solar powered lights; snapped the table in half (god knows how); damaged the netting on GS's trampoline; pushed down the fence betwen the garden and the drive; ripped up nemerous plants and broke pots, etc.

We had lunch with some friends at the weekend and to my horror, DS2 kept jumping on their sofa - Ok he was very excited about their new puppy but

When we got home, I realised to my equal horror, that I don't even notice when he does it on ours.

My house is presentable, but I'm not at all houseproud and I wouldn't dream of having cream sofas etc, but I can see I have some work to do to ensure my DC's know how to behave in other people's house.

My main criteria when people come here is that they feel comfortable, so they can take their shoes off or not, as they see fit. I'd hate to think people were afraid to come in case one of their DC's damaged or dirtied something, although my experience is that most children do remove shoes/show respect.