to expect other peole and their children to treat my home with respect.

[Joash]

I am totally fed up of other peoples kids being pains in the bloody arse when they come to my house.
For example, in the past month, I have had a set of three siblings, and another pair of siblings, who, (no matter how much I tell them not to) use my sofa and footstool as a trampoline; constantly climb on and stand on the dining table; pull books off the bookshelves and either rip the pages or throw them around, twist around in the curtains until them pull the poles down; pull the hold-back thingymabobs out of the wall,throw CD's around; empty the cupboards onto the floor, deliberately break GS's toys (to the point that when he knows they are coming, he takes all his stuff upstairs); shove enough loo roll down the toilet to repeatedly block it, or just unroll complete rolls and leave it all over the bathroom, will not keep out of my desk or filing cabinet drawers, etc etc.
These are not babies or toddlers - they are all between 5 and 8 years old. It's getting to the point where I am seriously considering telling their parents to stop bringing them around.
Tried talking to one the mums about the sofa-trampoline thing one of them answered "well, thats the advantage of paying so much for it - at least its guaranteed for another few year yet" IT'S NOT F*CKING GUARANTEED AGAINST BRATS JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON IT!!!!!!!!
I just want them to have some respect for my things.

tried them singly - had one at the weekend, finished up calling her mum to come and take her home after two hours of throwing all the marbles from the ker-plunk at the dog, breaking the DVD player, completely wrecking GS's bedroom, pulling a shelf down and trampolining on the sofa - all with GS shouting "No stop-it". Poor little bugger was a complete wreck by the time his 'friend' had gone home.
I have told her mother that there is no way I am ever having her here again without her mother (although that's not really a better option).

They are hooligans.

I wouldn't let them within 40 feet of my house let alone through the front door.

I would say to their mums "I was planning to invite you round, but my insurance company says I have reached the maximum number of claims on my buildings and contents insurance, so we'll have to meet at yours."

perpetualworrier - I wouldn't worry too much. I have no problem with occasional bouts of annoying behaviour -but when it is a constant part of their behaviour as it is with these two families, with no let-up, then it's not on.

@ sidge - I like that idea

Bloody hell - imagine what they'll be like when they are teenagers....

What's your problem Joash? They're just being children aren't they?

Im joking. YANBU. Kids should have respect for their own, and others property. No way would my kids even dream of behaving like that. If their mother/s cant see the problem, dont have them around again.

what on earth do their houses look like?????

Nice one sidge

One of the families house is fine - typical house with three kids under 8 living in it - although their rooms are wrecked. The other is a total shite-hole. WOuldn't look out of place on that "Aggy womans cleaning programme (can't think what it's called).

I don't think it's deliberate, just that they don't know any better at all.

I passed on boxes full of toys and books that GS was no longer interested in. All of them immaculate and I know that once I had given them away, it was nothing to do with me, but I went round two days later and many of them were in pieces and thrown all over the garden. The mothers comment "oh they never look after anything and it's not like they were new. That annoyed me when I could have bloody donated them to a charity shop or whatever.

Oh I know that feeling Joash. There's a woman in our street who never seems to have any money and ive given her lots of our baby things. Lovely toys, stairgates, baby baths etc and then I see them thrown in the front garden covered in mud and rain. I think charity would have been more grateful.

...er, I'd send in a bill to the parents, this is not "accidental damage" it is vandalism.

You have been very tolerant, even one of these incidents would have had me dumping the kids on the front doorstep and phoning the paretns to take them away never to return!

An alternative strategy would be to send your kids round to their houses and get them to pee on the floors, just to see if these mothers have any limits whatsoever.

Incidentally my friend has 3 super unruly children, and their home is like mob rule...when they visit me they all sit quietly like little lambs...they are terrified of my DH you see! Their mother brings them round for a little discipline when she is tired.
DH is annoyed that she does not do it herself though.

Mind you some people don't seem to care about anything, my DD was 2 when a dog went for her in the street, completely unprovoked and tore a huge rip in her trousers. As DH prepared to kill the dog the woman owner said "well, he's never done it before" I'm so glad I wasn't there, I'd have killed her.

YANBU. I think you need to start saying no to these people. If it's because you are friends with the childrens parents then perhaps arrange to go somewhere else. My DD is only 2 and I have restricted having anymore than one or two other children over with their mums because at one point I would have 5 mums plus toddlers in my modest house. No one ever took their shoes off (I find that very rude personally) or even attemtpted to pick up some of the toys before they left and I felt like a maid running round making tea, etc. I am not perticularly house proud but after they left it looked like we had been burgled. Way too much work.

shock the kids into not doing it again - next time just bellow "That's ENOUGH!" .... worked for me in the past

Doesn't work, nor does "What the hell do you think you're doing" "Stop jumping on the furniture" etc, etc.

and believe me - I can bellow

Of course you're not being unreasonable - those mothers need stringing up being so dismissive of your home.

Okay .... we all know kids get over excited in a strange house sometimes, or show off, or whatever, but the mum should be watching out for this and stepping in to prevent it and/or telling them off.

I'm always over cautious re: behaviour and manners in someone else's home until they tell me otherwise. For example, I'll ask if they want me to take my shoes off .... some people do, some don't, but their home = up to them. It's irrelevant what MY rules are at home.

I'd also be feeling mortified if my child tore someone else's books up ...... if it was a toddler doing it that's more understandable and I'm sure most people would realise no malice was intended but I'd still offer to replace something my child destroyed, whatever their age ...... and if they were 5 or older they'd be getting mightily told off too.

Why are some people so bloody selfish (because this is what it boils down to) ..... even when it's been explicitly pointed out to them what their child's done ? There's no way I'd have such horrid people (the mums) round again ...... in fact, if that was their disdainful attitude I'd find it hard to remain friends at all because I just can't be bothered with people like that.

How horrible! sounds like those kids are jealous of your nice house and things.
All the damage you describe is deliberate.
Some kids just see nice things as something to destroy!
Fell sorry for them when they grow up, because they may become real vandals in the future .
We have a young boy (6) who comes over almost everyday as he lives only 3 doors down and he does try to destroy things but he does usually listen and stops being destructive.
He did manage to get hold of some of our laying hens eggs at one time and pelted our fence with them.
He soon got told off and has not done it since, BUT at the moment i won't allow him over as he's tried to "have sex" with my 3yr old DD.
He tried this back in August and his mum was told and he never did it again until yesterday . Don't know where he gets it from, but they do have a young dog and i think he sees it humping the soft toys but it's still no excuse.
As for the parents that the OP visits, how come they allow their kids to trash the house, it just shows how little control they have over them and they are not even teenagers for goodness sake!
Heaven help them.
AB

why ever do you invite these people round? I wouldn't bother in future. If you wish to see the parents, I would do it without children.

OMG

why should you have you house trashed

at that age children KNOW what is allowed and not,can only assume they can do what they like in their own home - wonder what it looks like

as a nanny, i do respect my MB home as if it was mine, if i make a mess (or children do ) i would tidy it up.

Think you need to be very blunt and tell them not to behave like that

toddlers do touch thing, but as you said a 5yr old knows better

have a large glass of wine

Go to a soft play area and let them run riot there instead of your nice house.

Don't invite them round!

I agree Joash - there was a thread here once about jumping on furniture. Quite a few people were quite agog that you should stop kids doing it. Fine if you want your kids to wreck your own furniture but the problem comes when they go elsewhere - they don't know how to behave, I hesitate to say 'respect other peoples possessions' because apparently you can't 'respect' a thing

Bloody scary children

I would ban them forthwith.

My mother was a childminder, and she got around this issue, by making child height signs for us re-inforcing the rules we abided by, not large lists just a few key points.
The sign was put up on the door to the lounge from the hall, and it meant that the kids read it (or asked what does it say) and they tended to follow the rules then, assuming (correctly) that this was normal for the house.