Something you'd love to say to that one person at work.

[32degrees]

Say it here, see if it helps.

I'll start: you dramatic entitled cow. I am sick to death of your bullshit. Stop threatening to quit, make my year and actually do it.

To the office cleaner "please shut up. I'm really busy and I don't have time to listen to you".

Stop being a bitch and taking your bad moods out on me.
You constantly undermine me and blame me for shit that's not my fault. You can't take responsibility for your own actions, so you turn it on everyone else.
You're a twat and one day I will say it to your face.

Yes! This one :)

Please get a shower every day, wear clean clothes and buy some deodorant. You stink and don't seem to care, but sitting in that small office all day with door closed makes me want to heave..
I've seen visitors pull a face when they walk in!

Yes, yes, I know you’re brilliant at your job…. because you keep on telling me you are.

Many years ago now…

X, I know my timekeeping needs work, but that’s for me and my manager to discuss - not for you to bitch about while I’m not there. By the way, the reason I wasn’t there at the time you decided to loudly speculate about whether “Cherry just comes in as and when she pleases now” was because I’d just come out of hospital and had to go to the GP first thing every morning for dressing changes. I could have just taken sick leave, but that would have screwed up a major project and meant YOU putting in a ton of overtime - to which you appear to have an allergy - while we caught up. You’re fucking welcome.

(Anyway, she just made herself look stupid with this one, as I’d emailed the whole team to explain why I’d be in late for a while. She’d obviously missed or ignored it, which showed up the flaws in her much-vaunted efficiency and reliability.)

Shut the fuck up. Just shut up. The world doesn't revolve around you.

Oh, and a more positive one from the same workplace - someone who actually DID say it!

Gob on a stick boss said very loudly to our lovely cleaner, “Haven’t you finished vacuuming that fucking floor yet? We’re trying to fucking work!” She started out apologetic, saying she’d been stopping and starting because the phones had been busy and she was worried about disturbing calls. He snapped, “Look, just get the fucking floor finished!”

Something in her must have snapped at this point, because she blurted out “I’m fucking trying to finish the fucking floor, but I can’t because the fucking phone won’t stop fucking ringing!”

The sight of the boss’s face at this little woman, who looked the epitome of someone’s sweet old granny, going all Roy Chubby Brown on him will live in my memory forever 😁

To my boss, who I actually have a great relationship with.

"Grow a pair, you're the boss not their friend, this pandering and being everyone's friend is why they take the piss and then complain to me when they get told to do something that they should be doing anyway. You then get pissed off when I tell you what's been said (not as a snitch but because they don't want to come to you, you're the big boss and I'm your PA so less scary)"

Please get some therapy and stop off loading all your (minor) issues on us

“Please stop being such a bitch.” (My current colleagues are all lovely - Bitch was at a former job.)

I’m completely convinced that somehow Ricky Gervais bugged my office in the late 90s/early 00s. I worked with David Brent and Gareth before David Brent and Gareth existed. They were absolutely the same characters and even looked like them! Pair of utter pillocks.

Speak to me all the time or none of the time. Pick a lane.

Hey. You’re a married man with kids, and we all know you’re messing around with the 22 year old you manage!

As a former office cleaner, I love this SO MUCH 😍😍

Oh wow there are some people who sound really unhappy in their jobs on Mumsnet 😂😂 does anybody on here like anybody they work with 😂🤷‍♀️

Do us all a favour and quit. People are sick of your half arsed attempt at doing your job.

I feel better for that 🤣

You have a huge chip on your orange crepey shoulders because you didn’t go to uni and tell everyone it’s a waste of time. Your Facebook profile says under education ‘University of Life’ because that’s just fucking hilarious isn’t it. Your kids haven’t been to uni because they’re as thick as shit and have crap jobs, not because it’s a waste of time, so stop using that as an excuse you thick old bint.

You are an amazingly kind person. You will never know how much your lack of judgement and support were what kept me going through a period of severe depression and anxiety. I could never say anything because of the judgement that is endemic in this workplace.

Shut the fuck up and stop dragging out an unnecessary meeting with your pointless drivel again 😡

yes it’s to that person

Yes, I did leave the job because of something you said, you absolute horror of a ward manager.

Remember it’s only work it’s not real life. Don’t let work be your entire world! (I say it a lot at work but still my colleagues let work rule their life).

Nursing by any chance??

@PorpoiseWithPurpose Ooh that sounds fun!!! 😁😁😁

You are not a gifted healer. You were never a leper who was healed by Jesus. You did not invent homeopathy. You have never seen a unicorn, because unicorns do not exist. You do not remember coming to this planet as a ball of light. You are not decended from Elizabeth I; no one is. You are very, very lonely, and you think that telling people this kind of thing will make them want to talk to you, but it makes us all actively avoid you because we just can't take it anymore.

Also we are all very tired of hearing about your urine.

You think you've won because I left.
Well, you're left behind with a whole load of people who now know you are a bully and won't trust you. You may think you've fooled them, but they're all waiting for you to put a step out of line.
I know you've been stealing from the firm by buying things and then selling the "old" (read not quite brand new) ones. The evidence is being compiled at this moment, and, guess what, they're not going to give your line manager a chance to lie your way out of it; it's going directly to the police. And I am confident your line manager will extract themselves and probably incriminate you to save themselves.
And it's all your own fault.