To go on holiday without DH?

[Pumiceturtle]

DH needs to go home to Scotland to be with his elderly parents following his mum having a hip replacement. He is taking a full week off work to go up and run them to hospital and appointments et cetera. Only his mum drives and they live rurally.

DH and I were going to use the week’s annual leave to go away somewhere together, or to stay at home together. My annual leave has to be used up by the end of April. If I don’t use it, I lose it.

Due to work commitments, I can only really take the annual leave on the week dh is up in Scotland.

Dh and his parents have asked that I don’t go up as the house will be overcrowded. So my choices are to stay at home for a week or go on holiday.

A friend of mine has a villa somewhere sunny and is spending the winter there. She’s heard I have a week spare and has asked me if I’d like to go visit her. I’d be paying my own flights of course.

Would I BU to go on holiday without dh when he is looking after his family?

It's a no brainer. Why waste a week of annual leave on your own. I'd go.

Under the circumstances it sounds perfect. Have a great time.

100% go - at first I was wondering why on earth you wouldn't go up and help your husband but to be honest they have been pretty crystal clear about that!

Yeah, this.

Well they don’t want you, so your conscience is so clear it’s transparent.

Obviously yanbu. Why would you even think about sitting at home alone?

Yes, go, enjoy.

Unless there is some weird detail you missed out, there is no issue here.

Why are you asking if you are being unreasonable? Is your husband's nose out of joint that you are going away without him?

YANBU! Go.

Hell yeah, I wouldn't wait to be asked twice. Very fortuitous!

Go and have a great time!

Under the circumstances you describe, I'd go. But you should talk to you DH about it. I know mine would be happy for me to go. He might feel a bit hard done by if you were originally planning to go away together. But presumably wouldn't also go and stay with your friend anyway. And if its just flights you are paying for, hopefully you can still go away together soon. Maybe you need to get something booked together.

If that's the only week you can take annual leave and your in-laws have told you they don't want you there (nice!) I'd definitely go and spend time in the sunshine with your friend!

If the situation was reversed, would your DH even consider not going?

The flight would be booked already. Perfect timing 👌

Yes, go !

Why wouldn't you go?
Sounds like perfect timing!

Go, it's deffo serendipity, my husband would be pleased.

Can I come? We actually had one day of dry weather yesterday and now it’s raining again.

YANBU. If it makes you feel better, spin it as “using that week to visit an old friend” rather than “going on holiday”. But no reason why you shouldn’t if you’re not wanted with your DH!

Can you articulate why you're unsure?

Sounds lovely, please go! I hope your DH is supportive and if he isn't then don't let that stop you!

Of course, why would you not? I go on holiday every year without dh and the dc. It's lovely.

Everyone needs a friend like this

Hope the flights are booked. ☀️🌊🥂

E N J O Y

Of course go on holiday.
Baffled why your presence would cause overcrowding though unless it’s a one bedroom and your dh is on the sofa.