To go on long-term meds over an x ray

[Logoutofmymind]

This may or may not make sense as my head isn’t good but here goes and please bear with me …

DD11 got a chest x ray at a local pediatric hospital recently. I pushed our GP for it due to a low level dry cough, no wheeze, for 8-9 months which wasn’t shifting with antibiotics, steroids or sprays.
Results were clear and now looking at cough variant asthma or alternatives.

The problem is that, out of nowhere, this has triggered what I think might be a mental health crisis. I cannot stop obsessing about how I pushed for her to be unnecessarily radiated as it was just a little cough. How I’ve increased her risk of cancer, however small, as she was perfectly healthy beforehand. How she’ll get cancer and die, and it’ll be my fault for suggesting something that wasn’t needed. I’ve been signed off work as I cannot concentrate and spend most of the day in bed, alternating between crying and googling radiation stats and papers. My partner is taking care of the kids but frankly, am surprised she hasn’t left at this stage. My GP has suggested CBT but also mentioned anti-anxiety meds which I initially said no to but now think that I might need to do.

I’m not sure what I’m asking here but hopefully someone reads this who understands or knows what I’m going through. I just need my head to stop. Thanks for reading.

Okay I think I’ve been there a bit. I took my daughter trampolining and she hurt her leg, and subsequently had to have 4 x rays. I obsessed about this for a while and did end up in a bit of a mess.

I can only say that I did come out the other side. Mumsnet was great, and several posters gave me reassurance and my own mother was an excellent person to have around as she consistently told me everything was fine and to get off the internet (!).

I really hope you find your way through. It was a really dark time for me. But if it makes any difference at all, I’d just like to say your daughter is fine, is going to be unaffected by 1 x ray, and is very lucky to be so loved! All the best OP

Well it's clearly not about an x-ray, this is just the hook that your anxiety is hanging on. You do need help though, and I would take the GP's advice to try CBT or medication, also mindfulness.

what did you want the X-ray to rule out? Were you worrying about something else?

A transatlantic flight is about five times the dose of a chest X-ray (and people usually need to fly back again).

Eating two bananas a week for a couple of years come out at roughly the same as an X-ray.

See a doctor and yes, if they prescribe medication, take it.

Thank you for the replies.

Zapx your post made me cry, am so glad to hear that you made your way out and that both you and your daughter are ok. I’m not sure what help to ask for but it’s hopeful to think that you’ve been there.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria looking back, I’m not sure as none of my previous logic makes sene but it was to rule out an infection or something more nasty like cancer. Which is ironic now. My GP said no initially but agreed after it ran for so long.

NeverDropYourMooncup thanks and I know I’m not being entirely logical but, in reality, I did this to her iyswim. Everytime I look at her since I think of her cells mutating.

What’s going on here clearly goes deeper than an X-ray, but I hope this reassures you a little.

When a doctor requests radiation, they have to be able to justify the use. That request is then screened by a radiologist who has to agree it’s justified. And finally, a radiographer who does the scan also has to agree it’s the correct scan and is needed.

You may have initially asked for the X-ray, but 3 separate medical professionals agreed with you that it was worth doing.

You've done nothing to her except enable the doctors to discount some serious illnesses by being able to have a good look at her chest.

You're unwell. Take the help offered.

CBT really helped me with similar anxious / ruminating thoughts. Definitely worth exploring. Lots of sleep and self care may help too.

This is a good website to look at, whilst also exploring options with your GP -
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/website/

OP, you didn't do anything wrong. In order for an x-ray to be taken, it has to be justified. This means that an appropriate medical professional has decided that the benefit outweighs any risk. It doesn't matter how much you pushed, if they didn't feel it was justified, she wouldn't have got the x-ray. The risk in this case is tiny, a chest x-ray is the equivalent to a few days natural background. I hope you can get some support to help you stop worrying.

MrsFionaCharming and SisterFizz thank you and you’re right, it wasn’t a snap decision by one person and I’m not a doctor or anyway medical. The radiographer said that links weren’t proven and there was no cause for worry which I now know isn’t true.

Based on all of your responses here, I will go back to the GP I think. I tried to last week but just couldn’t manage to function enough to leave the house.

Emelene I will also check out those CBT links, thank you

I struggled on with undiagnosed asthma for years and years, OP. I only wish someone had shown the care that you have for your daughter.

OP, x-rays and gamma rays are known human carcinogens and the fact is that your baby was exposed to them which likely does increase her cancer risk by a small amount. Whether it was or wasn't the right decision is irrelevant as it's done now so just try and deal with it. It should be a warning for others as well.

A chest X-ray is about the same amount of radiation a person is exposed to naturally over the course of 10 days. You have turned this into something it isn’t. Please seek help from your gp.

I've had tons of X-rays (almost certainly well over 20), starting as a baby, due to a congenital orthopaedic condition. Plus at least 2 chest X-rays for lung/chest issues. I'm 47 and no cancer yet.

There is a link between radiation and cancers, but the radiographer was correct in saying there is no cause to worry due to one chest X-ray. In terms of odds ratios, it makes an extremely small risk a tiny, tiny bit bigger. Your dd is just as likely - likelier, in fact - to get cancer from no apparent cause than directly from that increase in risk (which is purely statistical and therefore theoretical).

Your thought patterns remind me very much of ones I had when I was postpartum with my third child - I was terrified she would have a bad outcome and (this is the key bit, and I think it is for you) it would be my fault. I wonder whether you pushed for the X-ray thinking that if you didn't it could be something awful and it would be your fault it went unrecognised? As you can see now, you can't win with these kinds of thought patterns. They're designed for you not to win.

You do sound in a very bad way - even at my worst I was still functioning, which, kindly, it sounds as if you aren't - so you do need to get help soon, which may mean meds. Your current state it likely to be more damaging to your child than any theoretical extra risk the X-ray has exposed her to.

The level of radiation is not an issue, look at some comparable exposures:

100g of Brazil nuts 0.01 mSv
Chest x-ray 0.014 mSv
Transatlantic flight 0.08 mSv
( from here https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/ionising-radiation-dose-comparisons/ionising-radiation-dose-comparisons)

However, your reaction clearly indicates that you need help, and you should not be ashamed to seek it out and take it when provided.

You poor soul OP, you have done absolutely nothing wrong in taking your daughter to have an x ray for a persistent cough. I'd say the opposite- that it was important for the x ray to be done to confirm that her lungs were clear. The amount of radiation she'll have been exposed to is unbelievably small. Things happen in life, we can't avoid everything.
Please consider what your doctor has recommended. I think CBT will really help. I'd go for the medication too as it sounds like the anxiety has completely taken over. You must feel awful, however It will pass and truly you have not exposed your daughter to anything unnecessary, she'll be fine. I know reassurance helps for about 10 seconds though, which is why you need help. Wishing you all the best.

have you been mentally unwell before OP@Logoutofmymind as it would be unusual for someone to never have had issues of this type before? this reminds me of the OCD type thoughts i had with PND, i would spend hours thinking of all the potential harms. Meds have been really helpful to me and I have stayed on them long term due to hormonal mood issues, as well as therapy ( CBT never worked for me personally but everyone is different, i saw a very empathetic therapist who practised EFT ie. tapping techniques)..... but i would say go back to your GP and try and discuss what else is going on in your life that may be contributing. how old are you by the way? sometimes it can be a straw that breaks the camels back type situation where a number have factors have combined to trigger a mental health event. sending hugs xx

She will not get cancer because she had an x-ray. The amount of radiation exposure from an x-ray is about the same as the amount of radiation exposure every single person in the world gets just from living their lives for two or three days. There is a background level of radiation present in the environment all the time. Your daughter's x-ray would have exposed her to about the same amount of radiation as she would be exposed to by just existing for a weekend.

I expect you know that, though.

I'm really not clear on why you refused medication. You are very obviously extremely unwell right now and you need treatment. You need CBT at the very least and medication would be a very good idea too. It's not your fault that you are unwell, but you do need to take responsibility for getting treatment, not just for your sake but also for your family's.

@NanoNanoMork - the OP is clearly distraught. Your comment is not helpful. Sometimes children and babies (mine at a few hours old) need an x-ray.

Please try not to worry OP - my grandfather was a radiographer who was shall we say cavalier about his own safety. He died of old age at 93! One x-ray is a minute amount of exposure. Please get help for your anxiety.

Hi OP, offering my own recent experience in case it gives you a different slant on things.

I had an xray for a cough, which showed up a tiny nodule. Cue anxiety! Had a subsequent mri, which showed it was calcium on my rib and nothing to worry about.

I am so glad I had both scans and often think about how lucky I am to have the peace of mind that nothing is seriously wrong. I am still dealing with some lingering anxiety as this was my first real health scare but it eases with each passing day.

You did the right thing. The anxiety will ease.

Ok, @Logoutofmymind , what I'm getting from your posts is that your child had persistent symptoms which worried you and you didn't feel were adequately explained by your GP. So you insisted on having serious conditions ruled out - that's being a good mum.

Now you know your wee one doesn't have a worrying condition, though, now you are fretting about a new worrying condition. And THAT's worrying.

I'm glad you'll have a chat with your GP. Lots of us become hyper vigilant but you don't have to put up with it.

Thanks so much to all who have replied and sorry for not responding sooner. I've read each post many times. The reassurance, although temporary, definite helps. Thank you.

I'm still not great - my ex reminded me that DD was intubated in NICU which would have involved 'lots of x-rays' so was higher risk anyway. Always helpful.

For those wondering about meds, I didn't realise what this was and that was the AIBU in my initial post I guess. Shame to say, I had little awareness of mental health or anxiety. I have been healthy, normal life stresses and a generally quiet life.

I have been where you are. You are experiencing anxiety, which means the things you are thinking are driven by anxiety not by facts. Your DD is fine; you have not harmed her. Go back to your GP and take the medication and therapy they offer. You will not always feel this way.