To go on long-term meds over an x ray

[Logoutofmymind]

This may or may not make sense as my head isn’t good but here goes and please bear with me …

DD11 got a chest x ray at a local pediatric hospital recently. I pushed our GP for it due to a low level dry cough, no wheeze, for 8-9 months which wasn’t shifting with antibiotics, steroids or sprays.
Results were clear and now looking at cough variant asthma or alternatives.

The problem is that, out of nowhere, this has triggered what I think might be a mental health crisis. I cannot stop obsessing about how I pushed for her to be unnecessarily radiated as it was just a little cough. How I’ve increased her risk of cancer, however small, as she was perfectly healthy beforehand. How she’ll get cancer and die, and it’ll be my fault for suggesting something that wasn’t needed. I’ve been signed off work as I cannot concentrate and spend most of the day in bed, alternating between crying and googling radiation stats and papers. My partner is taking care of the kids but frankly, am surprised she hasn’t left at this stage. My GP has suggested CBT but also mentioned anti-anxiety meds which I initially said no to but now think that I might need to do.

I’m not sure what I’m asking here but hopefully someone reads this who understands or knows what I’m going through. I just need my head to stop. Thanks for reading.

@Bagpussrules @Throckmorton@Nospecialcharactersplease, it’s reassuring to hear your experiences.. Thank you.

Spent weekend in bed again - googling odds, worried that Leukemia cells are now growing inside her and I’m struggling to look at her without crying and waves of panic setting in. I know that the risk is tiny but it’s still there. Will try and see a doctor this week and am looking at the CBT links. Thanks again.

Many hugs. I know it's hard, but do not look stuff up on the internet. There is nothing to be gained from it, and it will feed into your anxiety. See the GP as soon as you can, and in the meantime distract yourself as best you can. Now is absolutely the time to distract your brain with anything and everything you can throw at it - spring clean everything if need be!

I am not even going to talk about your DD - you did the right thing getting medical help for her and that is that.

However, you need to understand that your responses are disproportionate and likely to affect your ability to parent in a healthy way. Children don't get leukaemia from one x-ray, and stressing that they 'might' impairs your ability to recognise real risk. Please go and see your own GP and see if they can help with your health anxiety.

I’ve had obsessive worries like this before and it’s so debilitating. However, it is definitely a mental health issue as it is an irrational worry. It’s not unreasonable to ask for a chest X-ray after having a cough for so long. Try to remember that some children who have long term conditions get many
x-rays/CT scans and those who are in intensive care get x-rayed every day. If a child breaks a bone they may have continual x-ray monitoring whilst plates etc are being inserted and this is way more radiation than one x-ray. Every time you worry, try to say this it’s not about the x-ray, it’s about my anxiety. Think of some things you can do to help you relax or distract yourself. I started medication for my anxiety and it’s definitely helped.