To be tired of constant moaning, pessimism, and people seeing the absolute worst in everything?

[LovelyTheresa]

Just what the thread title says. This site seems especially bad for it, so perhaps I am just spending too much time on here! People in my real life are not quite such downers as many (not all!) people online seem to be. My favourites are the ones who seem to resent others' happiness and insist that life is terrible and that we should ALL be miserable or there is something wrong with us. How did it get to this point? Is it a peculiarly British phenomenon or is it more global? I am getting to the point where I am catching second hand depression from hearing this constant whinging.

Sounds like you're moaning, OP.

Ha, it does a bit.

It's online behaviour. People are ultimately posting here because they want answers, advice on what's bugging them, or because they're bored. If they're bored they're probably not going to post agreeing but try to lazily pick holes in everything.

If you're reading, say 20 people on here that are like that posting multiple times a day, you're going to get a distorted view of how prevalent that attitude is in the general population.

I've been on online forums for most of my life and they all have their moaners....

Also, if you're happy and you're British you've been conditioned to not 'brag' about it! I'm currently enjoying a lovely Spring day and my DH has just brought me a cup of tea.

I think that people’s mental health has been absolutely battered over the past few years - Covid and the lockdowns, the cost of living crisis etc - and this goes a long way towards explaining why people are so negative at the moment. I don’t blame them - I feel the same way, a lot of the time.

And if this is true - or even if it’s not, and people are depressed for another reason/reasons, then talking about it is better than bottling it up - but if you are finding it tough, you have every right to draw a boundary and say you can’t be someone’s shoulder to cry on, for the sake of your own well-being, @LovelyTheresa.

I think it's the anonymity of being online. I will sometimes have a massive moan online about something I wouldn't moan about in real life because I don't want to dump that on my friends and family. Shouting into the void is cathartic.

That and the Venn diagram of Chronically Online People and Chronically Depressed People is a circle.

Lol, I knew I'd get a comment like that!

I agree that the 'don't brag' is very British. Another British thing which seems to have been lost is 'mustn't grumble'.

It's a global thing. Yes probably exasperated by lockdown and increased anxiety - and I agree and hadn't thought of this before the poster above but anonymity of being online does make it worse. I try to be positive on Mumsnet though!

Start an uplifting thread every day for a week, to counteract the woeful ones. But it is much more likely people will post when they have a problem than when everything is great.

I think the British moan more because they legitimately have more to moan about. Public services are falling apart, work doesn't pay enough to live on, childcare and housing cost a huge amount. Everyone is expected to do more with less.

I have tried this, but they never seem to run for long. I should keep trying, though, you're right. I suppose I feel that there is so much to be grateful for: there are flowers, there are animals, there is music to hear and films to see and Spring is coming. I just need to tune out all the moaners.

Maybe people just genuinely feel quite despondent. I know that there is a reasonable amount to feel pretty gloomy about. Not to mention a rubbish wet and mud winter. Maybe a bit of sun will change our disposition for a bit.

i love fact you don’t see the irony of this thread OP. You have made me smile so 🙏 !

I do agree about the weather, I love winter but Spring so far has been a bit damp. It's early days yet, though. We had an epically bad summer last year but I hope that a better one will cheer everyone up a bit.

500 posts in last month OP

you’re not that tired of mumsnet! 😆

That's exactly the kind of post the op is talking about

I mean, I kind of do but I don't think that telling people to brisk up (which is what I'm basically doing) is the same as wallowing (which is what I'm complaining about)

your last thread was you moaning about the tipping culture!

I get it op. I have a lot of great stuff going on in my life but I don’t tell many people as they all seem to have more serious stuff going on. So the good stuff prob isn’t always talked about?

I wasn't 'moaning' I was legitimately asking if I was unreasonable. The consensus was that I was not, so I didn't tip next time I got a takeaway coffee.

Thank you! You get it 😄

i don’t suppose those starting the threads you see as moaning threads as… moaning threads!

you were moaning about tipping culture. no ifs or buts about it!

People in my real life are not quite such downers as many (not all!) people online seem to be.

so… less time on mumsnet
more time with people in your real life

I am getting to the point where I am catching second hand depression from hearing this constant whinging.

it is as though you think posting 500x in 4 weeks was your job.

Except when people start threads saying things like 'all men are crap' and 'Britain is going down the drain' and other incredibly depressing things, there is no way they don't think they are moaning and poisoning a well. Whereas asking about tipping culture is far more circumscribed and what's more, I did something about it!

mumsnet is essentially a forum of moaning, thats ok - but its the broader moaning where absolutely everything is shit, that gets me