Dad and the kitchen

[maryanne3]

Me, my DH and our two pre school children have moved in with my parents while we look for a house. We have been there for a few months, and it has all been fine until my Dad got given a piece of freelance work to do ( he is retired, but does occasional bits of writing, but not needed for income). My DH is using the study as he is WFH, so Dad is using the kitchen table. Trouble is the kitchen is also where I make kids lunches etc. Today he stomped off in a huff because DH and I were having a chat there during lunchtime. AIBU that he could use the kitchen in the evenings when the kids are in bed and the kitchen is in use?

The entitlement....

Why do you need to use the kitchen table to make sandwiches? Use the kitchen work top! If you knew your dad was working in there - make lunches for you and your husband (or he does it) in the morning so your dad doesn't get disturbed. It doesn't matter whether he needs the money or not...he is working.

Agree with others. Your husband needs to move out of the study. Either he goes in the kitchen or in the bedroom.

I hope you're paying to live there or you really do have a lot of self entitlement.

It's your dad's kitchen..not yours.Why can't you be more considerate when he's working ?
Your DH should get out of the room he's using so your dad could complete his work in there. Your dh could then work in the kitchen for a while . Then he'd see how irritating you are.

YABU to dictate when he can and can't use the kitchen in his own home. Would you go into the study while your DH is working and start banging around and chatting loudly with someone else? No? Then don't do that to your dad either!

Spend minimal time in the kitchen, make the lunches quietly while your dad's working and you and DH go into the study and chat. Put a kettle and a mini fridge in there would be a good idea too, so neither of you have to disturb your dad while making drinks.

Why should he wait? Get DH to work in the kitchen instead

How stressful for your poor parents. How about DH uses the kitchen for his WFH and your dad gets his study back? You should be fitting around your parents in their home, not the other way round.

Well I guess everybody has pretty well made up their mind on this one. FWIW we do pay our way with money for food and do our fair share of cooking. Mum and Dad had always said we were welcome. We have put an offer in on a house and will be moving out soon.

I have to agree with the consensus here. Read your post to yourself and imagine another family member did the same to you!

First one I've seen in a while with 100% saying YABU.

Well of course you should be paying your way. Your parents have been very generous and you & your DH are taking the mick. I bet your parents are counting down.

Your DH needs to give your Dad his study back and work from the kitchen table or your bedroom. Really not OK to be taking over the house this much.

Are you this entitled and self absorbed throughout the entirety of your life or is it only when it comes to your parents, their home and their personal space?

And then complaining about it

I’m retired and would be far too tired to work in the evenings.

If you live with other people a level of consideration is appropriate. Either give your dad his study back, and disturb your husband instead when you make the children's lunches. Or just stay out of the kitchen when he's working?

There's a Premier Inn in town. Here's the number. Go there with your family. Entitled, moi?

I'd say your dad and dh swap them there's no issues

FWIW we do pay our way with money for food and do our fair share of cooking. Mum and Dad had always said we were welcome.

This doesn't make it any more acceptable for you to tell them what rooms they can use in their own house, and dictate the hours during which they're allowed to carry out freelance work.

I am a morning person and have never been able to work effectively in the evenings

This is a good point. I'm an older woman who still works part-time, almost exclusively from home. My mind is most alert and productive in the middle of the day 11 am-3 pm most days. I work best at the kitchen table, DH will come in to make a sandwich for himself or both of us, but no chit-chat and he is in and out in about 10 minutes.

When I was young, I could work in the evening, no problem. But now that I am older, I am just not very productive in the evening as I am too tired.

If I posted and every single poster said I was unreasonable, I'd take that on the chin

Yabvu

No wonder the poor man’s in a huff. Your DH needs to vacate your Dad’s study pronto. Find a way for that to happen now, today, even though you know you’re moving out soon.

but not needed for income

Also this is completely immaterial.

@maryanne3

Money for food and cooking sometimes is NOT paying your way. FFS.