Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hate some mums?

64 replies

cato40 · 17/03/2024 15:34

Currently at a urgent care centre with poorly DD 11yo, sent by 111. Waiting area is packed and it is a 4h wait. We sit on 2 empty chair, next to these there is one chair with bags and coats. Mum n1 comes and saying these are her chairs and we move, don't want to make a fuss. She does not offer to move her bags from 3rd chair to make my sick DD sit. One last empty chair next to a mum with what looks like a 4 or 5 yo child on her lap, I tell my DD to go and sit there while I stand and mum n2 tells my DD not to sit on the only empty chair of a hospital urgent care unit because her child 'will sit there in a minute' (she is still on her lap).
How can some people be so selfish horrible to other children in a hospital?
We ended up sitting on the floor until after a while a member of staff showed us to some other seats. As we were moving to these seats I made sure to explain the staff loudly how other parents are not letting sick children sit on empty chairs. I hope, but I doubt, these women felt some shame (and frankly hope their kids got the message and felt ashamed for them too).

OP posts:
Rabbiehdbek · 17/03/2024 21:35

cato40 · 17/03/2024 15:34

Currently at a urgent care centre with poorly DD 11yo, sent by 111. Waiting area is packed and it is a 4h wait. We sit on 2 empty chair, next to these there is one chair with bags and coats. Mum n1 comes and saying these are her chairs and we move, don't want to make a fuss. She does not offer to move her bags from 3rd chair to make my sick DD sit. One last empty chair next to a mum with what looks like a 4 or 5 yo child on her lap, I tell my DD to go and sit there while I stand and mum n2 tells my DD not to sit on the only empty chair of a hospital urgent care unit because her child 'will sit there in a minute' (she is still on her lap).
How can some people be so selfish horrible to other children in a hospital?
We ended up sitting on the floor until after a while a member of staff showed us to some other seats. As we were moving to these seats I made sure to explain the staff loudly how other parents are not letting sick children sit on empty chairs. I hope, but I doubt, these women felt some shame (and frankly hope their kids got the message and felt ashamed for them too).

Maybe you should have had a back bone and advocated for your kid in the first place.

By not moving in the first place
Moving the coats/bags on the chairs
or telling her to stay in the empty chair.

but instead you sat on the floor and then made a comment as you were moving away.
What a way to teach your kid to be a door mat when she grows up.

Noseybookworm · 17/03/2024 23:09

Well, I wouldn't have moved if you sat in two empty chairs!

Shityshitybangbang · 17/03/2024 23:23

My goodness! I’m a quiet person and hate confrontation but in this situation I’d be telling the first women to sod off with her cheeky fuckery!! Maybe a bit more polite lol 😂

WhateverMate · 17/03/2024 23:36

I voted YABU due to you 'explaining loudly' to the member of staff, in the hope the people you really should've explained it to might hear.

I think the staff have enough to cope with.

NewName24 · 18/03/2024 00:09

Like so many others, I voted YABU because you just let other parents act this way, then tried to 'hint' about it, rather than just being more assertive in the first place.
Good to see you have taken that on board.

Zwicky · 18/03/2024 00:13

YABU for trying to make a sick 5yo darling feel ashamed for having a chair because you didn’t want to either keep your kid in her original chair or move her to bag chair. If I had a sick 5yo having a cuddle in a 4 hour queue and I’d just seen you chivvy your kid out of a chair she was in, ignore a different empty chair and sit in my kids chair then my response would not be to do with my lack of empathy for older kids or anyone who is not my darling. Your kid had 2 choices, original chair or bag chair, but you wanted her in darlings chair. Darlings mother wanted darling in a chair, your kids mother wanted secondary gain. That’s why darling got a chair and your kid didn’t. Bag woman is a twat but it’s a problem you could have overcome if you hadn’t preferred the passive aggressive smuggery instead.

pickytube · 18/03/2024 00:24

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 17/03/2024 16:16

I remember being in a waiting area at a maternity unit while literally miscarrying my child and having to stand because some seats were taken up with men. As in couples sitting side by side. They were there for a scan, not because of a bleed although of course some might have been, so it's not like they were particularly stressed or upset. I've never forgotten it. I should have said something but I couldn't summon the energy, I didn't want to deal with anyone else.

I'm sorry OP that sounds so stressful.

This has made me more angry

ACuriousHare · 18/03/2024 04:59

The other thing you can do is announce loudly to the entire waiting-room, "I have a sick child, which healthy adult or inanimate object is going to move so she can have a seat? Or are the bags and coats sitting on seats also waiting to see the doctor?"

I've done this on buses and trains when people are ignoring a pregnant woman, elderly person or person on crutches who needs to sit down.

Eyeroll2024 · 18/03/2024 05:54

Not the tiniest chance I would have moved my child.

breakfastdinnerandtea · 18/03/2024 06:18

Ffs, I think you're getting an unnecessary telling off here OP. Right, we get it, she gets it. She should have asked mum1 to move her bags... but some people don't like making a fuss. She's acknowledged that she should have done. Why is there still a pile on calling OP a doormat?

The other mums were rude. Mum1 should have moved her bags for you, and mum2 should have kept her kid on her lap and allowed your DD to sit. I'd rather be a doormat than rude, but there we go.
I hope she's feeling better today.

RageAgainstTheCoffeeMachine · 18/03/2024 06:42

I'm surprised they didn't wipe their feet on you too while you were sat on the floor.
You need to grow a backbone.

MissTrip82 · 18/03/2024 06:49

Annymania · 17/03/2024 18:00

From the title I was expecting something way more dramatic! 😂 but it’s mad considering they have children themselves, they are the first who should be able to empathise.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who wasnt empathic before giving birth and was afterwards. Kids are life-changing, not personality-changing. If you’re a twat before
you have a kid you’ll be one afterwards.

Wellhellooooodear · 18/03/2024 06:52

This wouldn't have happened to me as I'd have told the first one to move her bags in no uncertain terms.

LakeTiticaca · 18/03/2024 07:49

SBHon · 17/03/2024 15:43

I voted YABU because you were being an absolute doormat! I would have asked her to move the bags or said I’d have moved them for her.

I did too. You need to be more assertive and tell these CFs where to go

New posts on this thread. Refresh page