I feel so incredibly lonely, most of the time. I guess I'm wondering if it's just me or if it's a very normal feeling and people simply don't talk about it. Obviously, social media and our perception of how everyone else's lives are don't help...
For context, I'm a stay at home mum and I'm not from the UK although I've lived here for years. So I don't have the same network of school, uni, childhood friends a lot of people seem to have. I also don't have my family here and, in any case, my family, although very educated, is very messed up and emotionally draining. Both my parents come from emotionally abusive homes so I know they are damaged themselves and perhaps don't know how to be supportive because they've never been supported by their parents. The result is - I speak to them every couple of weeks or so but we are not "close". I don't get any support from them and our lives are so dramatically different that they just don't understand it.
I have an OK relationship. My husband is a very good man although not the most emotionally supportive or open. He loves me by doing things and by being strong, reliable and loyal rather than by saying things or talking about things. I know it's something to be appreciated in many ways but it sometimes makes me feel very alone at home.
There was a time when kids were very young when I built connections with other mums and I thought we could become long-term friends. However, London is so transient and some moved away, lots went back to work (not all though) and these friendships seem to have evaporated. When I bump into them it's all lovely and we have a quick chat in the street but the deeper connection is now gone. The same is true for some of the "friends" I made through dog walking and other activities. It all feels so transient and superficial.
The thing is - I seem to be generally very liked, I know people find it easy to talk to me and a lot of people comment on how they feel they can tell me things without being judged. I'm very educated and I had a very good and interesting career before becoming a mum. It was a very demanding career though, with lots of pressure and long hours, so now, with two kids, a dog and my husband also having a big demanding job, going back to work would be possible but hard for me and would make our family life very stressful. I don't miss work although I miss the social aspect of it.
When I get upset or depressed because of it, my husband keeps explaining to me that people's lives are simply very busy with kids, work, families and old friends they've had since school / uni. So, although people like me, noone is really looking for "new friends" at this stage of our life, as they just can't invest and fit new friends in and simply don't need them.
Is he right? Is this true? Why, despite being liked, I seem to struggle to form deeper connections and lasting friendships? I seem to get to a certain point and then hit the brick wall. Is it really to do with "the stage in our lives" or with being foreign and relatively uprooted in London?
Recently, this feeling of loneliness and isolation is killing me.
Does anyone else feel this way? Obviously, my brain often chooses to get fixated on random FB posts, conversations about people "going away with friends", seemingly socialising all the time etc...