To still be upset about Mother’s Day

[Thementalloadisreal]

BIL made no effort for SIL (DH’s sister) on Mother’s Day and she called me upset that they hadn’t had a nice meal or taken the DC to get her any gifts.
BIL has said sorry but hasn’t done anything else to make up for it, and come this weekend hasn’t made any plans.
SIL is furious her DH thinks that it can just be swept under the rug and carry on as normal.

BIL has said he thinks she needs to get over it. It’s only a day, they do plenty of other things as a family (SIL pointed out that’s due to her always arranging the “fun things”, she feels overlooked/unappreciated etc)
I feel caught in the middle as we are good friends with them and SIL wants us to back her up. I do agree that he could have made more effort but is she being unreasonable by dragging it out?
YABU - she needs to get over it by now
YANBU - he still needs to make an effort to make it up to her

Don’t you think a man that never organises anything for the family or shows his wife he appreciates her efforts for the family could resolve this bigger problem by making his first organising of a family outing for makeup for Mother’s Day? It’s not rocket science. He can only resolve the bigger problem by valuing his wife and this is very clearly the immediate way to do that.

She's completely entitled to her feelings, and you definitely should try to stay out of it.

Your sil is ridiculous to involve you. Tell her to sort it herself.

This!

It's clear the problem is not mother's day at all, it's the fact that he actually doesn't work as a team with her. If she really would settle for "just one day" of not having to arrange everything then she's not asking enough!

She should be asking for things to be evenly split all year round.

It's not your place to get involved, I appreciate your friends and you can encourage her to ensure that she establishes boundaries, but not to whinge about BIL so it gets reported back to him that @Thementalloadisreal said he should've arranged a meal or whatever.

@Thementalloadisreal well of course he wants his dw to get over it. He sounds like a thoughtless idiot.
And I speak as someone who doesn’t worry about Mother’s Day.

Your sil does though and if bil cares about her feelings then he should too.

I'd say to her, i agree with you but keep going on about it, just makes an atmosphere in the house for the children, if you are still that upset ask him to take you out for a meal.
Id also say if your husband asks me I will say I think he was wrong.
Make sure you forget Father's Day too.

Stay out of it

SIL needs to get over herself.

and don’t you have bigger problems? If not you’re very lucky.

let it go.

I think the problem with Mother's Day/Valentine's Day/birthdays etc is if you're feeling unappreciated anyway they bring things to the fore and you end up looking like a dick who is petty about getting the wrong flowers or whatever when it's actually part of a much bigger picture. Ultimately if she felt appreciated the rest of the year then she wouldn't give a shit about a less than satisfactory Mother's Day but it seems like she feels she organises everything the rest of the time so she was looking forward to bil stepping up for once.

All of that though is obviously not your problem. I suppose only you can decide if you need to step back or encourage them both to look at the other's point of view.

Option 3: stay out of it. None of your business really. Sil is being unreasonable bringing you into it