AIBU to insist on age appropriate TV at dinner time?

[TomatoWrap]

I obviously don't think I am being unreasonable, but the reaction and sulking that followed tonight's request makes me wonder if others feel differently.

Kids 4 and 7. I asked if we could put something more age appropriate on, was told 'no' by husband. So I asked if he could go somewhere else to eat and watch it. Or turn it off.

He did turn the TV off, which is actually my preference anyway - I don't like the TV on during dinner but unfortunately I married a TV addict. He's not happy though.

He was watching Fresh Meat. Lots of 'fuck' language, and obvious sexual themes.

This also isn't an isolated incident, and if the kids are scared by what he's watching or I ask for it to go off/be turned over he gets annoyed and shouty. Then sulks.

Do you eat meals at the table? No need for the tv to be on at mealtimes, it should be a time where you sit down as a family and chat. He shouldn't be watching age inappropriate programmes when the children are around anyway whether it's mealtimes or not!

☹️ he sounds awful op.

Who watches TV whilst they're eating their dinner?

Yes, we do eat at the table. He also wasn't thrilled about this to start with.

There is no separate room, TV can be seen from the table.

I'm in danger or having a massive rant about the TV and dinner in general to you all - but I'll have to refrain as I'm paranoid he'll read it. I should have changed some details in my OP.

Same.
So inappropriate to have that on with kids there.

It's not a marital issue. Your kids are being exposed to content beyond their years

Is it really that weird?
I don't like it, and we didn't usually watch TV during dinner growing up. But I thought it was fairly common.

I often threaten getting rid of the TV completely to the kids. I'm sick of it.
He'd probably leave me before he gave it up.

Make it habit. ‘Dinner is ready tv off and wash hands.’

and when he makes dinner you switch it off.

In a flat choice I'd choose a telly-free life over an ignorant, sulky oaf watching inappropriate programmes in front of his KS1 children.

And I love telly.

No telly on while eating at the table. No inappropriate telly on before the children are in bed.

How often does he eat with the children when you’re not there? What happens then…

Meal times are great for family time, tv ruins it

No TV is suitable at dinner.

Try some nice music instead.

I firmly disagree. I believe it's actually abusive to put a very adult programme like that on in a place where young children are - and have no option to remove themselves from.

How would you feel if, instead of just showing actors doing so, he started using that kind of language and discussing those themes himself in front of the children?

I don't share the mass MN horror of a TV ever being on during mealtimes, but whatever is shown has to be appropriate - not necessarily CBeebies, but at least something that's suitable for youngsters to see.

The traditional watershed is there for a reason. There's nothing wrong with adults watching non-child-friendly programmes on catchup or streaming when there are no children around; but surely it's very basic parenting to know to keep them for adult eyes and ears only.

It's rare - usually he's late in and we eat after the kids are in bed, or at least after they've eaten.

Me eating with the kids - and implementing a no TV rule (they have learnt habits and TV is on probably 70% of the time. I need to be stronger on this), and then him eating later on his own, is probably a good solution. It'd make me happier.

This.
You married an arsehole

If you decide he eats later, then surely the issue is resolved by no tv at all

This has got to be a joke.

I’m not going to pearl clutch at the TV over dinner bit though I agree it’s not ideal apart from a treat night.

But exposing kids to adult stuff like sexually explicit content, nudity etc before their brains can cope with it is downright abusive and could lead to really serious problems with their behaviour and mental health. And then your DH arguing about it when you point this out- what the actual fuck is wrong with parents these days? I can’t work out whether it’s just stupidity, selfishness or just laziness. Like others I can’t help wonder but what else he does in front of them if he thinks this is ok.

I agree with you. Although I can say that TV is his issue - I'm sure he's actually addicted. He's appropriate around them in every other situation, but can't seem to understand that there's things they shouldn't be watching.

can't seem to understand that there's things they shouldn't be watching.

But this is just so incredibly stupid. Does he have form for not understanding absolutely basic parenting? Would he let his kids loose with a carving knife, drive a car or something like that? A basic Google would give him more stats than you could quote about how damaging long term this can be. Why does he think there’s been a watershed for as long as anyone can remember, does he think it’s a whim?

Not wanting to scare you either but you should also be aware that if your 4 year old goes into school and talks about threesomes and shagging it will quite rightly be flagged as a safeguarding concern and social services may well get involved- you’d both be in potentially serious trouble (you as much as him
for letting this all carry on when you were aware of it). At worst it could be considered a form of grooming to sexual abuse.

Of course he knows. But he is putting his own needs above their welfare.

No TV on at dinner time. Dinner time should be just about spending time with family. There's the rest of the evening to watch TV.

Totally agree.

Does he himself swear or talk about sex to/in front of them? I assume not, so why would he think it's OK for them to watch? As in, if he can self regulate, surely he can see if it is not appropriate to hear from him it isn't appropriate to hear from the TV!

I hate the idea of TV at dinner time. I know it apparently happens a lot, but tbh I don't know anyone who does it (in laws aside!) I am not a TV purist, I love a bit of telly - but it doesn't have to be every day, and it doesn't have to take precedence over chatting with my family

Don't know which way to vote as obviously YANBU to not want your dc exposed to entirely inappropriate TV programme content but YABU to have the TV on at the dinner table at all IMO.

Agree