Taking a sick child to a supermarket carrying a bowl to be sick in

[Auburngal]

My mum saw this at the supermarket. Child was about 6 at a guess. He looked sick and was carrying a bowl with some sick in it.

Supermarkets are open longer, have food couriers (Just Eat etc) and supermarkets' own food couriers - Sainsburys ChopChop, Tesco Express Whoosh and now supermarkets offer later day deliveries. Plus the mum could have messaged a friend, relative etc to pick up some food items to tie her over til child is well enough. I know the food couriers charge a lot more. We had a customer a few days ago on the food courier service we have ordering one loaf of bread costing 80p in the store and cost them £4.10!

I'm sure the mum wasn't all alone - no contact with anyone who could help. Plus there are local FB groups - Spotted.... I bet someone would respond to her pleas.

Fellow shoppers and my mum were horrified with sight. Not sure if anyone said anything to the mum. My mum was worried that people could pick up the bug the boy was carrying. Mum doesn't know if he touched anything in the store.

Would you drag your DC if they were throwing up in a supermarket?

But what would you think of me if you saw my daughter with a sick bag? I carry them at all times as vomiting inducing migraines come on very quickly. Perhaps this mum carries a bowl for a similar reason? Perhaps the bowl is due to travel sickness that lasts a little while (as a previous poster mentioned). Perhaps this is a long term situation with the child due to gastro issues.

Maybe the child felt sick while they were out and the mum didn't have a car she could leave her in. She'd be damned either way: for taking her round with a bucket or leaving her standing outside with it.

The child felt unexpectedly sick while they were out and the mum coincidentally had a sick bucket with her?

It’s not ideal, and I definitely wouldn’t do it, but maybe she had no alternative and needed calpol or something essential for herself.

I can’t imagine someone doing it if they had any alternative.

I feel so sorry for the child in this situation. If it was a short term attack, I.e., travel sickness that would die down, I’d probably wait outside until they felt better, tbh.

If it was a bug or they suddenly felt ill, we’d be going home.

@Littlestmomo I have very serious gastric issues myself so we also carry emesis bags. While vomiting isn't pleasant, it's the high likeliness that this was infective that bothers me rather than the vomiting per se. Someone actively going into a shop with a bowl specifically that has vomit in it is pretty different from leaving with an emesis bag - I would presume you and DD were dealing with a chronic condition. Did you say it was migraines? I also have chronic migraine so if I'm remembering correctly and that's what your DD suffers from, I am so sorry! (I mean, of course I'm sorry whatever it is! But I understand that condition all too well.)

Maybe they were shopping while waiting for a prescription. Not ideal but sometimes needs must.

I give up, rail against this woman all you like. That's clearly what's needed here, definitely 'in the spirit'.

I've already said, I'm immunocompromised myself. Very. When my counts are 'wrong' I don't go out because it's risky. I'm lucky enough to have support and enough people that I could count on - and I can shop online. It's my choice to take the risk or not take it.

I'm not vicious; I am wasting my time posting though.

I was a single mum and one of the hardest things was when they or I were ill. Sometimes there was nobody I could call on for help, my parents were dead, my other family lives over 100 miles away and friends had their own stuff to deal with. When you are really on your own and very possibly not well off too and every pound counts, you find yourself cutting corners and doing things that in other circumstances you would not otherwise do. Just looking at someone does not give you the full picture.

Yes, it’s migraines. Still trying to get on top of it but she’s still so young. I’ve had awful comments from people before when I’ve had to carry her out the shop crying and vomiting, I think they presume I’ve forced her to go shopping (or whatever we are doing). The bags are a godsend as so much more discreet, she’s starting to get to an age where she gets embarrassed, and they’re easier to dispose of. Now that she’s starting to get older though the migraines are more long lasting. When she was very young they went by quite quickly.

Well based on many other examples, if most saw this happening in a supermarket, they’d be disgusted, not offer to help. So what’s your point?

@Littlestmomo ah, poor kid. I remember how awful it was when I was a child. I hope it will improve a lot for your DD as soon as she is able to access the more adult treatments - I know that's probably cold comfort now, but she won't be in as much pain forever. And the newest drugs seem to be very effective (I am just about to start one of these as still having a lot of breakthrough despite regular Botox). But I would never have imagined I could get as much relief as I do from the treatments I have now, and that is with more lines still available. I hope all this will open up for your DD within a few years.

Absolutely out of order. Can’t believe people are defending them.

The key word in your post there? Lucky. You are lucky. I am extremely lucky, my husband, my parents get in everything I need. Not everyone is that lucky. Some very ill people have no choice but to go out and get stuff themselves. And shocker, sometimes we want to, because being stuck at home for weeks on end is utterly soul-destroying. I would have thought someone who was severely immunocompromised would understand that. But if you want to martyr yourself so people can walk through supermarkets with basins full of vomit, that's your call.

Thank you, she’s a tough kid but they really wear her down. I’m hopeful that we can learn to manage them more, especially when more medication is available to her

I’m so heartened by reading so many non judgmental replies. There have been so many of these goady threads recently which turn into child-hating and class-bashing.

Also, as someone with a chronic health condition it’s great to see that loads of people recognise that not all illness is down to infectious bugs. Although I do get carrying sick around isn’t ideal - sometimes it happens!

Maybe single mother who needed calpol/antibiotics?

@Nounderwireplease There's a massive difference between a young kid suddenly getting taken ill, and their parent appropriately leaving to take care of them - vs entering the shop with a bowl containing vomit. The latter is what happened here and it's not defensible under the guise of being somehow chronic illness related. It puts disabled people at risk, it's not somehow attributable to us.

I'm sure the mum wasn't all alone - no contact with anyone who could help

You have deduced this how exactly @Auburngal ? 🙄

Haven’t read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been mentioned. Maybe you shouldn’t pass judgement without knowing the situation. My DC gets car sick sometimes and if it’s really bad he will continue being unwell even after we have completed the journey. I avoid car journeys and try to keep them as short as possible but sometimes it’s just not possible. This may not be the exact situation in this instance, but it’s just one example of something you may have not considered before making a judgement on someone you don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, only if there's a spot available which is unlikely at a very short notice.

It's grim.
We don't know the circumstances - may have come on suddenly, may be a regular occurrence, maybe it was just more convenient for her to take him to the shop with her than take up a support option, maybe she had no choice.

I think the assumption that no mum would do that unless they're forced to is wishful thinking.
Just look at the number of parents that insist that their child's alleged need/desire to attend school / go to a softplay / visit someone in hospital / go to a baby/toddler group, go to a restaurant or whatever with a contagious illness trumps anyone else's desire not to be made needlessly ill.

Gross, selfish and really cruel.

The fact the mother had given the poor child a bowl speaks volumes.
She could have gone without groceries {the kid won't be eating} and stayed at home with him.

Possibly norovirus - so everyone else in vicinity is now at risk.

I think it's obvious it's not an ideal situation but you can't assume she had any other choice and also you don't actually know why the child was being sick - maybe it was something he ate, maybe stress, maybe a bug. Think how hard you'd have to be pushed to take out your sick child with a bowl, I'd say this sounds pretty desperate.

Doesn’t really matter if she had an alternative or what the reason for vomiting was. People are clutching at straws here, it’s totally inappropriate to have a vomiting child clutching a bowl of uncovered vomit in a place where food is being sold. The staff should have told her to leave. Possibly just give her a loaf of bread for free or out of the food bank collection.