Taking a sick child to a supermarket carrying a bowl to be sick in

[Auburngal]

My mum saw this at the supermarket. Child was about 6 at a guess. He looked sick and was carrying a bowl with some sick in it.

Supermarkets are open longer, have food couriers (Just Eat etc) and supermarkets' own food couriers - Sainsburys ChopChop, Tesco Express Whoosh and now supermarkets offer later day deliveries. Plus the mum could have messaged a friend, relative etc to pick up some food items to tie her over til child is well enough. I know the food couriers charge a lot more. We had a customer a few days ago on the food courier service we have ordering one loaf of bread costing 80p in the store and cost them £4.10!

I'm sure the mum wasn't all alone - no contact with anyone who could help. Plus there are local FB groups - Spotted.... I bet someone would respond to her pleas.

Fellow shoppers and my mum were horrified with sight. Not sure if anyone said anything to the mum. My mum was worried that people could pick up the bug the boy was carrying. Mum doesn't know if he touched anything in the store.

Would you drag your DC if they were throwing up in a supermarket?

It’s not ideal but I doubt she particularly wants to be there and has no other option.

My son was really sick on a bus last year, I wasn’t expecting it at all and we got off at a shopping centre where I cleaned him up as best I could but then we had to get the bus back home armed with some plastic bags that I had asked a shop for. Was it ideal? No. Did people judge me for being out with a sick child? Probably. What else could I have done?

If it's an absolute unavoidable emergency (i.e calpol, absolutely no food in house, too poor to pay for delivery/whoosh/click and collect) it shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to grab those emergency goods and pay at selt service. If you HAD to take a vomiting six year old, surely you could leave him sat on a chair (as most supermarkets have) in sight of staff and alert them to what was going on rather than traipse him round with a vomit bowl.

When I've been in this situation, I've got an emergency shop delivered for £15 from the Coop within an hour. Sure there are some things I maybe didn't need like frozen peas or chips, ice lollies to make it up to £15 but if you can't get out you can't get out.

My Mums generation would send a taxi to the chemist, corner shop while we stayed home etc and we weren't rich. It came out of the "rainy day" fund which they were always careful to have.

It would be very unusual surely for someone to have absolutely no family, no friends, no neighbours, child's school friends parents to lend a hand and zero extra money to afford delivery/taxi/click and collect. What would happen to the child if mum became very ill?

I can't believe how many people are defending this. Sure, you can always make up some far fetched scenario about the mother because you want to call OP judgmental and give her the traditional AIBU kicking... but actually, the mother is putting every immunocompromised person who shops there at risk by taking her germ laden offspring round the shop! It's incredibly selfish and entitled behaviour. If people weren't so determined to blame the OP and accuse her and her mum of being the baddies, it would be easier to acknowledge that.

The other party in an AIBU post isn't automatically in the right just so you can lay into OP. Especially when that other party is actually putting a lot of people at very serious risk.

I wouldn't leave my unwell 6 or under child in a car alone.

I was absolutely ABUSED one day in the car park of a Tesco express as the worst mother ever because I left DC1 in the car while I returned a trolley, and he was completely in sight the whole time. Clearly the guy who did that was a prick but even I could not really recommend that a parent go inside and so don't even have sight of the (sick) child in the car. Too many people are judgemental twats - and it is absolutely the case that it should not be assumed that this lady had a car in the first place.

If I saw this I would find it slightly gross. But my default would not be to assume the worst of this lady. Enough people act that way and the world is a worse place for it.

It is discusting if they had a bug. But unless you ask the mom how do you know? The child could have somethjng else wrong not a catchable bug.

I’m afraid there are people with literally nobody else to call on for help. There are people who cannot afford delivery fees, let alone a car. Sounds like the woman was out of options. Or perhaps the kid got ill while out? Alternatively, she could just be lazy and grubby. But my instinct would be to sympathise with the woman.

Yes I do. I think there's people out there who would refuse to break their routine and wouldn't see this as a big deal to be honest.

If it's an absolute unavoidable emergency (i.e calpol, absolutely no food in house, too poor to pay for delivery/whoosh/click and collect) it shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to grab those emergency goods and pay at selt service. If you HAD to take a vomiting six year old, surely you could leave him sat on a chair (as most supermarkets have) in sight of staff and alert them to what was going on rather than traipse him round with a vomit bowl.

Firstly it would take longer to find a chair, alert staff and leave the child with instructions to behave or whatever than it would to nip round with him.

Secondly it would totally unfair on the staff who are already poorly paid and far too busy to be keeping an eye on an unwell kid they don't know for a parent who might take an hour for all they know.

What makes you so sure she had people to. All on to help? I don't. And I don't always have money available to pay by card sometimes it needs to be cash so what would you recommend. Not everyone is lucky enough to have help and be financially ok

When my DC were very young I had a real phobia about sickness and I can remember several incidences where parents sent kids to school/other places with children knowing they were sick

One mum at a sports club that our kids went to. Older kid had an after school lesson, she took younger toddler into the bar area where parents socialised, and child puked over the toys. (I heard her say the child had been sick throughout the day)

Another time I was at a sports activity and one of the other participants (we were both SAHM at the time) regularly used to put her toddlers in the sports centre creche when they had been sick.

Children sent to school after less than 48 hours after vomiting...and then they either fell asleep or were ill at school (most had a SAHP)

....so it's not always a no choice/desperation situation

This is what corner shops are for

I really hope you run into people just like you and the OP if you're ever in such a position.

You know nothing about the woman's situation, neither does anybody else. My default is compassion for someone in a difficult circumstance, not a rush to judgement and to post on a chatboard. Pathetic.

I really wish I believed in karma.

Hope this child is feeling better now and the woman got what she needed without judgemental twats tutting at her.

I lived in a village for years with no shops at all!

Sometimes needs must and no one has any idea what their situation was. The child may not even have been ill but possibly has gastro issues (I carry around little sick bag things for my daughter). I know it’s not a nice sight but perhaps just try and think that they don’t have another choice.

Yes I do think it's more conceivable that she brought her sick child out rather than go through the slight awkwardness of asking one of the people I suggested on my post.

Interesting that lots of people insist that the person probably had nobody at all to ask ...via any method.

I wonder if they are the same people who sneer at "school mums" and dont want to be friends with them, hate class whatsapps, think neighbourhood whatsapps are sad, don't speak to their colleagues/neighbours etc

If you have a car I suppose

I've never taken my DCs in a supermarket if they are being sick but I have had my DS once throw up in supermarket I was mortified and notified staff and cleaned it up myself once they were able to hand me paper towel etc as I didn't want some poor staff member having to mop up my own child's vomit so sometimes with little ones these things can happen.

But agree I wouldn't be taking my DCs around shopping with sick bowl in hand etc.
Can easily order online or click and collect even better they stay in car while you quickly shove items in the boot of your car.

Are you mad? Leave a child sat with a random member of staff to ‘keep an eye’ on them? Leave them in a car alone when they’re vomiting?

Ok cool I’ll leave my child unattended, if they aspirate their vomit alone then at least I didn’t incur the judgement of random strangers at the supermarket.

Honestly why would you be so quick to prioritise strangers, at the expense of the safety of your child? If they were there to get a prescription it’s not a 2 minute job. And as the mother knows why she’s there and no one else does, she’s probably in the best place to do what’s most sensible isn’t she?

They could have become sick very suddenly, so no time for mum to change plans or leave them somewhere. Kids sometimes get sick from eating too many sweets, or car sick? She may have been buying medicine for him? It doesn't necessarily mean he has a contagious disease. People go to the shop with a cold all the time. Not that it's a good plan. I fail to see why she would choose to take the kid there if she had any other choice whatsoever. I've had a stomach problem and had to run out of the shop to be sick in the kerb in the street. It's not contagious though. And I didn't realise I was going to be sick when I chose to go there.

And if you want over the counter medicines from the pharmacist then the pharmacist normally needs the sick person to be there.

At one point I had no one, we moved to a different area and I knew no one there. Family were all 7 hours away and it was really hard. We also lived rurally which just adds to the difficulty as we didn’t have a local shop and neighbours were few and far between

When I was in the position of having nobody at all to ask anything I had just moved to a women's refuge in a new area, obviously no social media due to my ex, hadn't spoken to anyone at school, the only adults I talked to were refuge staff who wouldn't be allowed to look after my kids, we weren't allowed to have deliveries at the refuge (they had a separate address for post etc) we weren't allowed to babysit each others kids either.

Its actually not that unusual to have nobody at all.

There is no defending it. You don’t take your child into a supermarket when they are carrying actual vomit around. It’s disgusting. Assuming she drove then she could drive to a garage where she could grab milk and bread or whatever emergency supplies were needed while she could see the child in the car. Even if she had to drive a bit further to find a garage.