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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking a sick child to a supermarket carrying a bowl to be sick in

438 replies

Auburngal · 15/03/2024 13:07

My mum saw this at the supermarket. Child was about 6 at a guess. He looked sick and was carrying a bowl with some sick in it.

Supermarkets are open longer, have food couriers (Just Eat etc) and supermarkets' own food couriers - Sainsburys ChopChop, Tesco Express Whoosh and now supermarkets offer later day deliveries. Plus the mum could have messaged a friend, relative etc to pick up some food items to tie her over til child is well enough. I know the food couriers charge a lot more. We had a customer a few days ago on the food courier service we have ordering one loaf of bread costing 80p in the store and cost them £4.10!

I'm sure the mum wasn't all alone - no contact with anyone who could help. Plus there are local FB groups - Spotted.... I bet someone would respond to her pleas.

Fellow shoppers and my mum were horrified with sight. Not sure if anyone said anything to the mum. My mum was worried that people could pick up the bug the boy was carrying. Mum doesn't know if he touched anything in the store.

Would you drag your DC if they were throwing up in a supermarket?

OP posts:
Gothicashoker · 16/03/2024 20:05

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/03/2024 13:14

I do find it inconceivable that someone would have no one to call on. (Conceivable, that they might not have liked to ask, but I would have thought this the lesser evil than taking out a vomiting child)

The child is 6, so presumably at school - so there are parents of other children in their class.
If the mum has a job she has colleagues. If she's a SAHM she will have people she meets in the day.
Unless they live in an isolated location, there will be neighbours.
There are FB groups (as suggested in OP).

Show quote history

God your judgy aren't you. As a single sahm who literally has no one to call on and sometimes has 10p to my name I can say with certainty she probably didn't want to drag him out but had no other choice! Get your head out the sand and realise we are in a cost of living crisis. Some weeks I only have £20 to try and make up meals for the week. So I have to go to the shops and budget because delivery costs extra!!!

Gothicashoker · 16/03/2024 20:10

T1Dmama · 15/03/2024 22:09

My daughter has just been off school all week with a sickness bug… vomiting Sunday night through to Wednesday evening. I’ve popped out for bread a few times as it’s all she could stomach…. There’s no way I’d have dragged her with me round the supermarket with a
bucket !!
I struggle to believe someone would have no one in these circumstances! My DD is old enough to leave for half hour though, but if she wasn’t I’d have asked a friend or even knocked a neighbours door. But again I’m lucky to have nice neighbours who would help if needed and who I have shopped for too in the past.

Some of us literally have no one to ask for help. I'm miles from family and friends after moving away with my ex and he turned abusive. Just because you all have perfect lives with friends and family around able to help doesn't mean everyone does.

Havinganamechange · 16/03/2024 20:42

Not everyone is lucky enough to have their mum living locally or alive. Some people genuinely don’t have anyone to turn to for lots of reasons. Is it ideal and what we would all want to happen? No of course not. But it’s helpful to show a degree of compassion and understanding that she genuinely may have been so stuck and just had to take the child with her. There are plenty of deliver options if you live in an area that has these options but they can be very expensive for someone on a low income can’t they.

Pupinskipops · 16/03/2024 21:01

EmmaGrundyForPM · 15/03/2024 13:12

You can do a "click and collect" for free, and sick child could stay in the car.

Show quote history

Click and collect is not necessarily available for free at a time you need it, and there's a minimum order which is actually quite a lot if you're on a very low income. Perhaps she was just after medication for her sick child.

How can you possibly know whether she was all alone or not (I was, as a single parent), and no sensible parent would look to people on a Facebook group to look after their child.

It's not an ideal situation and I'm sure the mother would be aware of that herself. It's more likely that she didn't actually have any other options. We can't possibly know her circumstances but I'd be inclined to cut her some slack rather than judge her.

ILoveEYFS · 16/03/2024 21:02

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/03/2024 13:14

I do find it inconceivable that someone would have no one to call on. (Conceivable, that they might not have liked to ask, but I would have thought this the lesser evil than taking out a vomiting child)

The child is 6, so presumably at school - so there are parents of other children in their class.
If the mum has a job she has colleagues. If she's a SAHM she will have people she meets in the day.
Unless they live in an isolated location, there will be neighbours.
There are FB groups (as suggested in OP).

Show quote history

I don't have anyone close enough to ask and I don't know my neighbours other than directly next door and I don't know them well enough to ask. I have no siblings and my parents are not able to help. I help them. I don't live in ab area where whoosh, Chop chop, retired, deliveroo, beedelivery operate. I don't have time to wait until tomorrow either. If I need calpol, I need it now.

Whatwoidoyoudo · 16/03/2024 21:06

Maybe this child has an illness which means they are sick at any moment? Maybe they have anxiety and it causes sickness?

maybe this is re only option. No one spoke tk the parent so you have no idea. Wash your hand regularly and keep your distance from strangers.

BruFord · 16/03/2024 21:14

Whatwoidoyoudo · 16/03/2024 21:06

Maybe this child has an illness which means they are sick at any moment? Maybe they have anxiety and it causes sickness?

maybe this is re only option. No one spoke tk the parent so you have no idea. Wash your hand regularly and keep your distance from strangers.

@Whatwoidoyoudo If that were the case, I imagine that they’d have some bags instead of forcing the poor child to carry around an open bowl of vomit. How humiliating for them. 🙁

Engagebrain · 16/03/2024 21:33

Have you considered the child could have recently had chemo? The mother may literally have nobody to help her.

pineapplesundae · 16/03/2024 21:57

I was a single parent and I would never have done this. One, it would gross people out and more importantly, I wouldn’t drag my sick child around a store or anywhere else. I’d take them home and care for them. Surely, there were other options.

Milliemoo6 · 16/03/2024 22:03

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/03/2024 13:14

I do find it inconceivable that someone would have no one to call on. (Conceivable, that they might not have liked to ask, but I would have thought this the lesser evil than taking out a vomiting child)

The child is 6, so presumably at school - so there are parents of other children in their class.
If the mum has a job she has colleagues. If she's a SAHM she will have people she meets in the day.
Unless they live in an isolated location, there will be neighbours.
There are FB groups (as suggested in OP).

Show quote history

Not sure what you're suggesting here - that someone this SAHM meets someone randomly during the day and asks them to either look after her child or do her food shop for her?! Are you insane? My child is in school, we have neighbours, and I'm part of many Facebook groups. No way would I ask any of them to do my food shop for me! Madness.

Milliemoo6 · 16/03/2024 22:07

Auburngal · 15/03/2024 13:07

My mum saw this at the supermarket. Child was about 6 at a guess. He looked sick and was carrying a bowl with some sick in it.

Supermarkets are open longer, have food couriers (Just Eat etc) and supermarkets' own food couriers - Sainsburys ChopChop, Tesco Express Whoosh and now supermarkets offer later day deliveries. Plus the mum could have messaged a friend, relative etc to pick up some food items to tie her over til child is well enough. I know the food couriers charge a lot more. We had a customer a few days ago on the food courier service we have ordering one loaf of bread costing 80p in the store and cost them £4.10!

I'm sure the mum wasn't all alone - no contact with anyone who could help. Plus there are local FB groups - Spotted.... I bet someone would respond to her pleas.

Fellow shoppers and my mum were horrified with sight. Not sure if anyone said anything to the mum. My mum was worried that people could pick up the bug the boy was carrying. Mum doesn't know if he touched anything in the store.

Would you drag your DC if they were throwing up in a supermarket?

So many assumptions and judgements here, really nasty. Maybe your mum could have asked this woman if she needed any help/if she was ok, rather than just b*tch about her afterwards?

Kona84 · 16/03/2024 22:12

Maybe the kid got sick in the supermarket and she grabbed a bucket in store and was then gonna rush to pay and leave.
also people assuming she has a car.
are you sure she was mum too? Maybe a child minder? Babysitter

blubberyboo · 16/03/2024 22:14

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/03/2024 13:14

I do find it inconceivable that someone would have no one to call on. (Conceivable, that they might not have liked to ask, but I would have thought this the lesser evil than taking out a vomiting child)

The child is 6, so presumably at school - so there are parents of other children in their class.
If the mum has a job she has colleagues. If she's a SAHM she will have people she meets in the day.
Unless they live in an isolated location, there will be neighbours.
There are FB groups (as suggested in OP).

Show quote history

What utter rubbish

most people don’t have jobs in their own towns never mind have colleagues around the corner.

pity OPs mother didn’t run over to offer to do her shopping instead of just bitching about her

PriOn1 · 16/03/2024 22:16

Milliemoo6 · 16/03/2024 22:07

So many assumptions and judgements here, really nasty. Maybe your mum could have asked this woman if she needed any help/if she was ok, rather than just b*tch about her afterwards?

Show quote history

My thoughts exactly. I’d have probably offered to run round the shop for her, so she could stay outside in the fresh air with her poor son.

There’s not much point in speculating as to whether she had any choice or not. I have a lovely friend whose stepmother did this to my friend as she didn’t care about others or her stepchildren. I’ve also overheard idiots who’ve taken their children out to McDonalds to cheer them up as they’ve been vomiting.

So this woman might have been in an impossible situation or she may have been an idiot, but it’s a shame if nobody offered to help her. I’d happily pay for a small shop for someone in those circumstances.

Milliemoo6 · 16/03/2024 22:19

PriOn1 · 16/03/2024 22:16

My thoughts exactly. I’d have probably offered to run round the shop for her, so she could stay outside in the fresh air with her poor son.

There’s not much point in speculating as to whether she had any choice or not. I have a lovely friend whose stepmother did this to my friend as she didn’t care about others or her stepchildren. I’ve also overheard idiots who’ve taken their children out to McDonalds to cheer them up as they’ve been vomiting.

So this woman might have been in an impossible situation or she may have been an idiot, but it’s a shame if nobody offered to help her. I’d happily pay for a small shop for someone in those circumstances.

Show quote history

Finally, a bit of common sense. Honestly, I think half the posts on here are trolls trying to just stir people up.

MigGirl · 16/03/2024 22:28

SableGrape · 15/03/2024 13:13

You can't book click and collect for the same day, and you can only use them if you actually have a car.

Show quote history

Actually you can now book click and collect and delivery for the same day it it's latter enough and they have a slot.

If I really could leave the child at home and had no alternative but to go out, I'd probably nip to our local corner store and leave said child in the car. Oh hang on a minute I've actually done that before (I now get flamed by mumsnet for leaving a child for 5-10minutes in a car). I would avoid taking them into a shop.

1214Happy · 16/03/2024 22:41

Love this reply

Busybee44 · 16/03/2024 22:47

nooooo very very wrong!

BruFord · 16/03/2024 22:47

Milliemoo6 · 16/03/2024 22:03

Not sure what you're suggesting here - that someone this SAHM meets someone randomly during the day and asks them to either look after her child or do her food shop for her?! Are you insane? My child is in school, we have neighbours, and I'm part of many Facebook groups. No way would I ask any of them to do my food shop for me! Madness.

Show quote history

@Milliemoo6 Genuine question-why wouldn’t you ask a neighbor to help you out in this type of situation? I’ve asked various neighbors for everything from borrowing an egg when I’ve realized we’ve run out in the middle of a recipe to grabbing some medicine for an unwell child, or milk/bread, etc. I’ve done the same for them and also been woken up late at night to babysit when a neighbor needed to go to A&E and the children were sleeping. I rang neighbors when DH was in a car accident and I needed to pick him up.

Just this week a neighbor asked myself and another neighbor whether one of us could drop her DD off at an activity, as she had a clash. None of our children were going to it so it was a favor to her.

Don’t neighbors rely on each other anymore? I’d have been in a real fix many times without mine and vice versa.

Summerglowing · 16/03/2024 23:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Summerglowing · 16/03/2024 23:27

Why didn't your Mother ask if she needed a hand? I have been in a very similar situation longterm; no family, friends or neighbours to help in an emergency.

Actually sit with how hard that is, especially for women.

I am completely aware of how challenging life can sometimes be. So, I will always step in and ask people (especially other women) if they need help- parents, elderly, children - anyone. My child has seen me do that, so I hope one day they help also others. Instead of gossiping on Mumsnet about another womans potential misfortune.

I suggest people start being kind. One day you will need that kindness.

jelly79 · 16/03/2024 23:33

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 15/03/2024 13:18

Carrying a bucket of sick around a supermarket? I find this hard to believe.

Agree. It's unlikely the child was 'dragged' to the supermarket too

chubbychopsticks · 16/03/2024 23:58

Did someone in the supermarket offer to help this mum?

Calliopespa · 17/03/2024 00:00

Summerglowing · 16/03/2024 23:27

Why didn't your Mother ask if she needed a hand? I have been in a very similar situation longterm; no family, friends or neighbours to help in an emergency.

Actually sit with how hard that is, especially for women.

I am completely aware of how challenging life can sometimes be. So, I will always step in and ask people (especially other women) if they need help- parents, elderly, children - anyone. My child has seen me do that, so I hope one day they help also others. Instead of gossiping on Mumsnet about another womans potential misfortune.

I suggest people start being kind. One day you will need that kindness.

I agree . I can’t really think of any options she might have had ( leave DC with DH or DM; send DH out for groceries; enlist help of the nanny ; order on Ocado and use full fridge in interim) that would not have been preferable to lugging a vomiting child around the supermarket.

im therefore giving the lady the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t really have an option . It could have been a single mum whose dc was dehydrated and could only face apple juice, or she needed Calpol. I’m just not going to judge because it doesn’t sound like a situation anyone would choose . Life can be hard without being judged for your struggles. Kindness is a better knee jerk response than criticism.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 17/03/2024 00:19

There’s a lot of perhaps and maybe speculation about how hard it is for the mother but we really don’t know what childcare was and wasn’t available to her. Maybe a little kindness should have been given to the vomiting child who was being made to walk around a supermarket holding a bucket of sick. Did anyone offer to help him?