Stag do, 35 weeks pregnant

Funnyboness · 2024-03-15T12:38:33+00:00

35 weeks pregnant in a low risk pregnancy. This is our first DC so not sure if I’m being precious. So far everything has gone fine so DH left to go to a stag party this weekend. I had a midwife appointment this morning and babies growth has dropped off according to their measurement, she hasn’t grown at all since 31 weeks. They tried to get me in for a scan today but couldn’t get anything until Monday. If it were you would you ask DH to come back? Rationally he can’t do anything but midwife has asked me to be extra vigilant with movements and I’m obviously worried.

Bakewellpuddingandcustard · 15/03/2024 12:41

No I wouldn't expect him to stay home, especially as your scan isn't until Monday and he has already left for the stag do.

Mrsttcno1 · 15/03/2024 12:42

I’m also 35 weeks and although I can understand your worry, no I wouldn’t ask my husband to come back. You’re booked in for a scan on Monday, there’s nothing he can do anyway.

Also worth remembering I assume they are going off of fundal height from your midwife appointment which is notoriously inaccurate, so much so that most places don’t even bother doing it anymore.

Try not to worry, see if any of your friends or family can make plans with you for a coffee or something over the weekend but other than that just relax x

Singleandproud · 15/03/2024 12:42

No, there's nothing he can do.

Mintgreendressinggown · 15/03/2024 12:43

I mean there’s nothing you can do until Monday… I would just try and be patient and take it easy until he returns which I assume is Sunday?

hopefully it is all fine ❤️

toomuchfaff · 15/03/2024 12:43

Mrsttcno1 · 15/03/2024 12:42

I’m also 35 weeks and although I can understand your worry, no I wouldn’t ask my husband to come back. You’re booked in for a scan on Monday, there’s nothing he can do anyway.

Also worth remembering I assume they are going off of fundal height from your midwife appointment which is notoriously inaccurate, so much so that most places don’t even bother doing it anymore.

Try not to worry, see if any of your friends or family can make plans with you for a coffee or something over the weekend but other than that just relax x

This...

Wenttomowameadow · 15/03/2024 12:43

No, there's no point. If you need to go in go in but it sounds like there's not much that can be done until Monday anyway.

kcchiefette · 15/03/2024 12:45

My DS failed to grow from around 36 weeks and placenta was declining more rapidly. They advised they weren't going let me go too much over due date if he didnt arrive, so I was induced 4 days after instead of 10. No issues with DS or the birth.

Do as they advised. Take it easy. Enjoy the peace. Put your feet up. Your partner will be home soon and I can almost guarantee that nothing will happen until then.

Let him enjoy his holiday with his friends before his life drastically changes.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 15/03/2024 12:49

As you said yourself, he can't do anything even if he comes back.

If you are feeling extra anxious, could you ask a friend or sister to come visit you over the weekend.

Waiting is horrible but if they were really worried they wouldn't be waiting until Monday.

NoelJo · 15/03/2024 12:49

There very much is something he can do and that is emotionally support you through a worrying time. If you think that would be of huge benefit to you then yes I would ask him to consider coming home but if you think for example you could see a friend, ring your mum, go for a nice bath or walk etc and that would help just as much then no I wouldn’t ask him. I would also definitely make sure he is aware of all the information so he can decide for himself whether he wants to be home with you regardless of you having to ask him to be home.

MakeTheRumourTrue · 15/03/2024 12:51

No, I wouldn’t expect my partner to come home, there’s nothing he can do and nothing is confirmed.

Is it just the midwife measuring with a tape measure that is indicating a possible issue? If so, I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage as it’s often inaccurate.

Try to relax and distract yourself.

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 15/03/2024 12:53

Probably wouldn't ask him to come home but would like him to be contactable in case of an emergency (which he should be anyway I guess!).

Easier said than done but try and keep busy if you can, seeing friends, going for a walk etc.

If they were super worried they'd scan you sooner than Monday. But as your midwife will no doubt have said, the best indication that babies are well is moving as normal so keep an eye out for any changes and ring triage if you do notice a change.

shakeitoffsis · 15/03/2024 12:53

No of course I wouldn't.

bumbledeedum · 15/03/2024 12:56

Be reassured that your scan isn't until Monday. Is the midwife was concerned you would be in hospital now. Try and put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet for the weekend and keep an eye on movements. Fundal heights are crap measures too.

IfYouDontAsk · 15/03/2024 12:56

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this, it’s about what you feel would be best for you.

Fingers crossed you get some reassuring news on Monday. PS if the measurement was based on measuring your bump then I would agree with PP that this really isn’t the be all and end all when it comes to measuring the baby. Midwives were expecting me to have huge 10 lb plus babies based on this- both were a very average 7 lb something. Just wanted to mention that in case it reassures you a tiny bit.

FirstTime867 · 15/03/2024 12:58

You poor thing, you must be so worried. Realistically no one can do anything but he can provide some moral support, I'd hate to go to bed alone at a time like this but I'd also probably cope fine, if that makes sense. There's no right answer.

IfYouDontAsk · 15/03/2024 12:58

bumbledeedum · 15/03/2024 12:56

Be reassured that your scan isn't until Monday. Is the midwife was concerned you would be in hospital now. Try and put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet for the weekend and keep an eye on movements. Fundal heights are crap measures too.

Agreed!

Original poster

Funnyboness · 15/03/2024 12:59

I feel like movements have changed but baby has also changed position since my last appointment. Previously they were sideways but now luckily they’re head down! I don’t want DH to come back unnecessarily but the decision is all on me which feels like a lot of pressure.

OP posts:

Mrsttcno1 · 15/03/2024 13:07

Funnyboness · 15/03/2024 12:59

I feel like movements have changed but baby has also changed position since my last appointment. Previously they were sideways but now luckily they’re head down! I don’t want DH to come back unnecessarily but the decision is all on me which feels like a lot of pressure.

What decision though?

You are the only one who can feel your baby moving right now anyway, which means only you can judge whether there is any need to go get checked out, so regardless that decision would still be yours alone to make- he can’t comment on something he has no experience of. If you feel there’s been any change, call triage and you can go in to be monitored just the same as you would if he was here.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2024 13:07

NoelJo · 15/03/2024 12:49

There very much is something he can do and that is emotionally support you through a worrying time. If you think that would be of huge benefit to you then yes I would ask him to consider coming home but if you think for example you could see a friend, ring your mum, go for a nice bath or walk etc and that would help just as much then no I wouldn’t ask him. I would also definitely make sure he is aware of all the information so he can decide for himself whether he wants to be home with you regardless of you having to ask him to be home.

This. The 'nothing he can do' refrain is strange. He can support, be with his partner, discuss things together. If that would be a help to both or either of them, then it's something.

TheSnowyOwl · 15/03/2024 13:08

If you call your labour or planned assessment unit to explain you potentially have IUGR and would like to be hooked up to have the baby’s movements checked as you are worried, they will let you go in and it might help with your peace of mind.

I’d leave your DH where he is.

Is the lack of growth based on fundal or scan measurements? The former are very unreliable and whilst the latter also have a large error margin, it’s not as much. Typically, if your baby isn’t growing, you will have steroids and just keep monitoring to make sure movement is ok before labour as normal.

I used to have a midwife check with a fundal measurement at the start of each week and a scan at the end of the week. The fundal measurement showed a smaller than average baby and the scans showed a massive one. Baby was fairly average sized in the end.

MakeTheRumourTrue · 15/03/2024 13:09

don’t want DH to come back unnecessarily but the decision is all on me which feels like a lot of pressure.

What decision?

Thedogscollar · 15/03/2024 13:11

Hi @Funnyboness
Congrats on pregnancy. Fundal height measurements are subjective in that if different midwives have been measuring it could be something as simple as technique of measuring that has made baby look like no growth has taken place.

Baby's pattern of movements are very much key and if these are normal for your baby then that is a very good indicator baby is well. If you notice any difference in your movements call maternity triage they will invite you in for fetal monitoring.

The scan on Monday will accurately check the baby's measurements and blood flow from the placenta. After the scan you should have a review with an obstetric registrar who will make a plan of care with you as you approach your due date.

Your husband can stay at his stag weekend as having him home really won't change anything. Maybe if you have a friend or relative that could stay with you over the weekend that might help you feel less anxious.

Goodluck with the scan on Monday and you will know more then, plus your husband will be back home.

CALLI0PE · 15/03/2024 13:11

IME you’ve be better to call your most calm and reasonable female friend/ relative ( who has given birth ) and ask to meet up this weekend.

They are likely to be much more helpful and reassuring than your DH, because he knows even less about it than you do.

KarmaCaramello · 15/03/2024 13:13

Aw I'm sorry you've had this scare. I will say as others have said, fundal height measurements are extremely inaccurate. I was diagnosed with IUGR all the way through one of my pregnancies recently, told she would be under 4lb, scanned every week, and she popped out almost 7lb!

Keep an eye on the movements. Definitely have a chat with your DH and talk about what you want to do. If there is a friend or family member you can be with until DH comes back, do that, or if you really want him to come back, do that - it's up to you and what you feel.

On its own though these kind of growth worries are super common and usually come to nothing - it's good they're keeping an eye and you said you're keeping an eye on movements which is great. So I wouldn't immediately think it was an emergency if that makes sense.

Good luck <3

Boobettes · 15/03/2024 13:15

I think I remember your thread about not wanting him to go in the first place.

But no, I wouldn't want him to come back, in fact I wouldn't even say anything to him about any of it until he's home.