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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours family blocking my drive.

230 replies

Whatdoyouthink65 · 14/03/2024 11:35

So I know this is a first world problem,
there’s much worse things happening but I can’t stop being annoyed non the less.

i live on a ‘ normal 1930 residential street. The house has a dropped kurb a in front of the garage side of the frontage, and we have a small driveway. I have an EV vehicle which lives on the drive ( when not being driven) so that
a) I can get the 2 under 3 year olds out/in easily and
b) it can charge when not being used. We have solar panels on the house and all the time they’re producing and the car is plugged in- it charges the car - essentially for free.

Our next door neighbour is elderly, and her daughter in law comes in a few times a day to care for her. If the space directly outside her house is taken by someone else she parks across my drive whether I am in or out.

usually there is a space outside my house ( not blocking the drop curb) as although literally anyone can use it, when my DH goes out to work it typically doesn’t get filled until evening when he may or may not be able to park there. We 10000% accept that on the on road parking it’s pot luck but I really really think I should be able to park on or get off my drive whenever I want.

i have asked them lots of times to stop doing it, but it falls on deaf ears. The final straw was that yesterday I was 35 minutes late picking DD up from nursery because I had to walk there unexpectedly after not being able to get my car off the drive… and today I’ve come
home with both kids and a full car of shopping and had to park about 800m away because she has parked half in the space outside the house and across the drop curb.

ive tried knocking on to ask them to move , but on both occasions they haven’t answered the door. They stay 90-120 mins per visit ( not a few minutes like just dropping off).

AIBU to be absolutely fuming?

OP posts:
YouJustDoYou · 14/03/2024 13:51

Hi op, does your area have a number to call to report to a mobile parkng warding? The county I live in has one, a chap/chappess comes out on a motorbike to issue a ticket. They can't tow legally. But enough tickets would get the message across. Hopefully your country has something like it. Good luck!

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/03/2024 13:52

Whatdoyouthink65 · 14/03/2024 11:35

So I know this is a first world problem,
there’s much worse things happening but I can’t stop being annoyed non the less.

i live on a ‘ normal 1930 residential street. The house has a dropped kurb a in front of the garage side of the frontage, and we have a small driveway. I have an EV vehicle which lives on the drive ( when not being driven) so that
a) I can get the 2 under 3 year olds out/in easily and
b) it can charge when not being used. We have solar panels on the house and all the time they’re producing and the car is plugged in- it charges the car - essentially for free.

Our next door neighbour is elderly, and her daughter in law comes in a few times a day to care for her. If the space directly outside her house is taken by someone else she parks across my drive whether I am in or out.

usually there is a space outside my house ( not blocking the drop curb) as although literally anyone can use it, when my DH goes out to work it typically doesn’t get filled until evening when he may or may not be able to park there. We 10000% accept that on the on road parking it’s pot luck but I really really think I should be able to park on or get off my drive whenever I want.

i have asked them lots of times to stop doing it, but it falls on deaf ears. The final straw was that yesterday I was 35 minutes late picking DD up from nursery because I had to walk there unexpectedly after not being able to get my car off the drive… and today I’ve come
home with both kids and a full car of shopping and had to park about 800m away because she has parked half in the space outside the house and across the drop curb.

ive tried knocking on to ask them to move , but on both occasions they haven’t answered the door. They stay 90-120 mins per visit ( not a few minutes like just dropping off).

AIBU to be absolutely fuming?

To me the worst thing would be that she doesn't answer the door and mover her car when required - I mean, legally speaking she shouldn't be parking across a dropped kerb at all, ut as long as it wasn't inconveniencing me I wouldn't be worried about it.

However this is greatly inconveniencing you, and the staff at nursery, and your DD who might have been frightened that you weren't going to collect her, so yes, you should complain to the council and the police, and to her when you see her. It's appalling behaviour.

Is there any way that you can block her in when she does this, so that she has to come to your door to ask you to move your car? Then you could let her know this isn't acceptable.

CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 14/03/2024 13:53

@Whatdoyouthink65
I would report to your council as inconsiderate parking. You should be able to report online. Take photos and upload them.

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/03/2024 13:54

TheSnowyOwl · 14/03/2024 11:47

I would keep ringing on the doorbell until you get a reply, photograph and report to the council and non emergency police. Finally I would get a solicitor to send a letter if needs be.

Solicitors' letters are expensive, though.

BTW OP - did you have an extra charge at the nursery? If so, give the neighbour the bill. Cheeky buggers.

Bettyfromlondon · 14/03/2024 13:57

It is worth checking your local authority's website. In my case I was able to report the vehicle and upload photos showing the dropped kerb and the car registration. An avenging parking officer appeared on a moped and ticketed the car. Presumably if the car had since driven off a fine would have been sent through the post.

MikeRafone · 14/03/2024 13:58

i have asked them lots of times to stop doing it, but it falls on deaf ears. The final straw was that yesterday I was 35 minutes late picking DD up from nursery because I had to walk there unexpectedly after not being able to get my car off the drive…

go and ask who is going to pay the bill for late fees?
Park your car on the drop kerb during the day and charge the car at night
contact the "local neighbourhood police" and take photographic evidence of them blocking your drive - photograph every time they block you in to your drive.

ElleLeopine · 14/03/2024 13:58

Are you able to catch her as she is parking, before she goes in?

Or just camp outside until she comes out?

MikeRafone · 14/03/2024 13:59

I would report to your council as inconsiderate parking.

nuisance parking can end up with an ASBO

I doubt it has occurred to the daughter in law that she could get an asbo for her behaviour.

DazedandConfused1234 · 14/03/2024 14:00

Could you get the Council to paint a yellow line on the road across your drive? Or do it yourself if they won't...

pam290358 · 14/03/2024 14:00

MaloneMeadow · 14/03/2024 11:46

It’s not daft - the other OP was blocking her neighbours in for pettiness..

Show quote history

Because they were being CFs accessing their own makeshift driveway from a dropped kerb OP had paid to have installed in front of her house to access her own driveway.

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/03/2024 14:07

Itslegitimatesalvage · 14/03/2024 12:30

You need to start calling the police non emergency when she does it. Report it every time. Make a nuisance of yourself.

When she does it, just go round and hammer the door for the whole 90 minutes she is there. Maybe they’ll call the police on you and she’ll end up in trouble!

Unfortunately with two toddlers, OP probably can't stand hammering on a door for a couple of hours (tempting as it would be).

pam290358 · 14/03/2024 14:10

DazedandConfused1234 · 14/03/2024 14:00

Could you get the Council to paint a yellow line on the road across your drive? Or do it yourself if they won't...

You can actually apply to the council, to have a white line painted on the road in front of the dropped kerb. If anyone parks there after that it’s an offence for which they can be fined and you can ring 101 to deal with it. You need to give the council a reason why it’s needed so just cite nuisance parking from your neighbour, despite repeated requests to stop.

ScierraDoll · 14/03/2024 14:11

Dogdilemma2000 · 14/03/2024 11:41

I’d start taking photos.

Maybe accidentally spill a bag of poo filled nappies because you tripped?

I like the way you think.
It would be entirely accidental of course. We must not encourage people to behave badly

MenopauseSucks · 14/03/2024 14:13

So you have an H bar as well as a dropped kerb & they're still parking on it?

My local council says that in this case you call the 'parking enforcement team' & also log a call with the non-emergency police number if there is a car on the driveway.
Check with your council.

Plus I would stand at their door with my finger on the doorbell, call through the letter box, bang on windows, just to get my point across.

Eustaciavile · 14/03/2024 14:19

Sorry if I’ve missed this, but has the neighbour’s daughter in law actually told you WHY she won’t stop blocking you in? It’s really strange behaviour.

I would try waiting for her again to discuss reasonably, but if she won’t respond, phone 101 for advice and leave a letter on her car stating what you’ve done.

Don’t bang continuously on the neighbour’s door; she’s clearly vulnerable and might be scared, and it’s not her fault.

Ignore those suggesting you let DIL’s tyres down etc. it’s criminal damage, and if your actions cause her to have an accident, it would be your fault.

DinnaeFashYersel · 14/03/2024 14:19

There are great suggestions on here but please ignore the ones encourage you to commit crimes likes slashing tyres and breaking windows.

GoldEagle · 14/03/2024 14:25

Give them one warning that if they continue to block your driveway, you will have their car towed.

caringcarer · 14/03/2024 14:26

@NinetyPercent the district nurse asked for your permission this neighbours DiL doesn't ask and is there for hours.

steppemum · 14/03/2024 14:29

I do think you need to get firmer.

Yes to naging and knocking continually until they open the door, but I see that you already did this.

So, print off the law which says you can't block a dropped curve, add to it an invoice from the nursery for late fees incurred when you couldn't get your car out.
Put in the letter that you will report take photos every single time and report to the council/police for breaking the law.
Put the whole lot through her door.
And copies under the windscreen of the car next time it is parked there.

But also print off large A4 sized notices which say - you are blocking a dropped curve, this is illegel, move your car and don't do it again.
Stick those to the side windows and the windscreen with somethign that is harmless but hard to get off. Kids glue stick/pva glue; honey; lipstick.

(be very careful not to get anything on paintwork that might damage)

I would also visit the mother when the daughter isn't there and ask her if she realised that this was happening?

I mean it is really tempting to get a traffic stop strip and accidentally drop it underthe car, but that would be crimanla damage

WatchandWaitorNot · 14/03/2024 14:30

pam290358 · 14/03/2024 14:10

You can actually apply to the council, to have a white line painted on the road in front of the dropped kerb. If anyone parks there after that it’s an offence for which they can be fined and you can ring 101 to deal with it. You need to give the council a reason why it’s needed so just cite nuisance parking from your neighbour, despite repeated requests to stop.

Edited
Show quote history

She says she already has one.

OP, the Council are your friends here. They love any chance to get parking fine revenue. Have you spoken to them?

caringcarer · 14/03/2024 14:30

FirstFallopians · 14/03/2024 13:05

I’d just buy the windscreen sticker sheets online and use them each and every time she does it. She’ll soon stop.

It’s not worth trying to appeal to these kinds of people’s sense of reasonableness. They don’t care.

Iv learned something new. I never knew these windscreen sticker sheets existed. I've got a person who lives opposite me who the adult son visits and sometimes blocks me in on my own drive. Sometimes he partially blocks me in and I have to drive down my drive slope half on drive and half on grass to get off. I'm buying some of those stickers.

steppemum · 14/03/2024 14:31

I should add that when I say visit the mother, I don't mean in an intimidating way, just as a neightbour and see if she knows. I bet daughter isn't telling her, and I bet she wouldn't be happy with the daughter upsetting her neighbour.

Saymyname28 · 14/03/2024 14:32

You're gonna have to ring 101 and take photos everytime it happens. It may not be an urgent matter but she will get fined for it. Make sure you take pictures of the licence plate and note what days and times it arrives and leaves as best you can.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/03/2024 14:33

To me the worst thing would be that she doesn't answer the door and mover her car when required

That's what my neighbour - the one who bought the wheel lock - said, and apparently that blocker used to pretend (?) she was talking on the phone while looking out of the window and smirking at him Sad

LaCouleurDeMonCiel · 14/03/2024 14:35

You need to be a pain so they will park somewhere else just to make you stop.
Ring the doorbell, call, etc not just when the car is there but also afterwards. Ask you neighbour for the DIL’s phone number and also for her son’s number (in case DIL doesn’t answer). Ask where they work, maybe you could call their work if they don’t answer their cells. Etc.