To stop opening door for sister

[thegroundskeeper]

My younger sister (22) and I live with my mum.

Sister can be unbelievably rude, unreasonable and aggressive so we don't have much to do with each right now to keep the peace. However, she keeps misplacing her front door keys!

I always let her in, but she is so rude I don't feel inclined to keep doing it. This is what happened last night:

Bell rings, I open door
Sister stomps past me and slams her bedroom door
Me, quietly: Are you going to say thank you?
Sister, screaming: OMG I just got home. FUCK OFF!!!

AIBU to go on strike and stop letting her in? That will just get me in massive trouble though. Putting a key under a plant pot or welcome mat doesn't work as that goes missing in a day or so as well. Mum won't do anything. FWIW yes I suspect she's neurodiverse but that's no excuse for the really personal insults and aggression. She doesn't reflect/apologise later.

Thank you is not a bit weird from someone you live with. That’s normal to say thanks if someone opens a door for you. Your sis is rude

@Trulyme

Of course it’s not about physically opening the door, it’s about the sister’s entitlement and rudeness and refusal to look after her own key, the mothers refusal to intervene, and the OPs irritation at being the one who has to sort out their problems.

then, as I posted before she does one of these:

sit on doorstep until mum comes home.
go and find a pub/cafe until mum comes home
go to Mum's workplace and borrow her key
go round to a friends house until mum gets home.

She. is. an. adult.

Are you planning to live at home forever? Could your sister live independently?

I wouldn't bother @thegroundskeeper - I doubt it will have the result you are after, tempting as it may be.

I would try to disengage as much as you can and go with the path of least stress.

Just open the door and say hi - don't say anything else.

Don't think there is much to be gained by escalating the situation or lowering yourself to her level.

@thegroundskeeper

she only shouted fuck off because you poked the bear 'are you going to say thank you'.

if you'd just let her go to her room, she wouldn't have.

Bit weird that you think it's fine to shout fuck off at anyone for being corrected on your manners. 😆

You can still be a twat and autistic

22 hormones are still everywhere. And as as adult having to knock on the door and not have responsibility of a key would piss me off then having a sister who behaves like her mum also. I’d be annoyed.

She keeps losing her keys so yes she should say thank you.

I’d make her say pls through the letter box first!

Presumably this 22 year old adult isn't so vile at work or to her friends so her raging hormones only seem to affect her at home.

This made me laugh, why didn’t I think of getting her to ask first. Maybe next time she rings the bell I’ll say “What’s the magic word?”😂

In all seriousness thanks everyone for your responses, have calmed down now and will just open the door and leave her to it going forward.