Who pays?

[hippityhoppityhelp]

Please help. My job has changed and now I have to work 5 days a week, longer hours for the same pay or lose my job due to a drop in price of something my job centres around. I am going through a divorce. My ex works 2 days one week and 3 the next. So it is fair, I am proposing that out of the 10 school pick up/drop offs that we do 5 each. However I work away from home 2 nights a week/3 days so I can’t do the school pick ups on Monday mornings (I have to leave for work at 6 am), Monday evenings, Tuesday mornings, Tues evenings and Wednesday mornings as I work. I pay for my children to go to before/after school club Wednesday evenings, Thursdays and Fridays before and after school. My ex won’t split the costs of the childcare. He says I should pay more as I work more days. We both earn the same amount of money. Who is right?

YABU he shouldn’t pay half
YANBU he should pay half

Anyone?

How much money are we talking about here before I get invested?

He pays on his days and you pay on yours

YABU to expect him to contribute to childcare on your contact time.

Just like it would be unreasonable of him to ask you to contribute to childcare on his time.

Isn't this more about who has the kids overnight/which days?
You split residence based largely on availability ideally, then you each pay for childcare on your days?
Or you split the cost of childcare equally and the each of you gets to deduct the cost of the days you can cover.

So I am guessing you don't have the children Sunday night-Wed any week? Then you pick them up from after school club on a weds?
So Ex has 3 nights per week?
He pays his days you pay yours

£340 a month.

Hey?

We both take/pick yo for the same number of days. Why should I pay all of the childcare costs?

He takes them to school before/after school club on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays mornings. I do the other half of the week. That’s an equal number. Why should I pay for more?

We share childcare 50/50

Nights-
Monday- Him
Tuesday- Him
Wednesday- Me
Thursday- Me
Friday-Sunday nights- Alternate weekends

He is saying I should pay more for before/after school club than him. We both earn about £30 000 a year it’s just that he earns this in 2/3 days a week whereas I earn it by working 5 days a week.

You each pay for the childcare on your own days

So you pay for the childcare on your days and if he uses childcare on his days - he pays. If he doesn't then you don't book it.

If he is also using before / after school clubs he should pay on his days. Ask the school to split the bill? Send his share directly to him.

I agrée with others you both pay for any childcare needed on your days.

So you are using the club because you can’t make the standard pick up/drop off time so require additional support. This is your responsibility. If he needed extra support to manage his drop offs you wouldn’t expect to pay for it.

Yup. Your time, you pay.

No as he is off work on the days I have the children. He is off Thursdays and Fridays but has to attend a meeting every Wednesday morning if he is in work or not so children have to attend before/after school clubs every week day.

I am a bit confused. He uses before and after school care Mon and Tues on his days (and pays for it? You don't mention you pay this in your first post). You use it and pay for it on Wed and Thurs on your days. That seems fair so far. Friday you pay for and use every other week? And he uses it the other Friday or he doesn't need it?

I don’t understand this. what are you saying no to? You don’t want hi, to pay for childcare on his days? That’s your problem then.

He can’t make the standard pick up drop off times either though!!! Please explain why I should pay for the children to attend before/after school clubs on his designated days. I just don’t understand why it isn’t fair! He uses the before/after school club for 3 mornings and 2 nights and I do for 2 mornings and 3 nights. Why do I need to pay for the times he picks and drops them off???

You need to pay for the childcare you need on your contact days.
He pays for what he needs on his contact days.

If that works out as you needing to pay more, then that's just the way it goes unfortunately.

It seems a strange set up if you have the children on days he isn’t working. Surely it is better for them to be with the parent not working if possible?

Why is it so hard to understand? I want to pay 50% of the childcare costs. He is saying I should pay for everyday. Why is this fair? We share 50/50 time with our children. We both earn about the same. Why should I be paying ALL of the childcare costs?

Nobody is saying you should

He pays for the three mornings and two nights he needs.
You pay for the two mornings and three nights you need.

Because in your OP you stated that “ I pay for my children to go to before/after school club Wednesday evenings, Thursdays and Fridays before and after school” You didn’t say that they went every day or that you pay everyday… this is why everyone is misunderstanding you…

His job share works the other days. This was the set up before the divorce. I work full time but am required to work in Scotland Mondays to Wednesdays and my manager covers the area on Thursday and Fridays. I got this job just before the divorce. I didn’t know I was going to get divorced. He can’t change his working days and neither can I.

Well I do currently pay this but he now wants me to pay all of it