To never have any news

[yesihavenonews]

I rang a family member for their birthday and they wanted to know my news.

I guess anything would do - but I have no news. My views on politics and world events are unremarkable. My job is the same stuff as last year, just slightly worse-resourced. There are no promotions on the horizon, no improvements on the house. We're not going on holiday due to the cost-of-living crisis. The children seem happy enough in school - I'll find out at Parents' Evening.

I have no gossip. Nothing, other than the daffodils are looking good this year, and there are no trains next week.

It's partly that the immediate pressures of each day take up all my headspace. Besides that, there is genuinely nothing on my side that is interesting to report, other than 'the playdates clash this weekend' and 'the dentist is pleased with the children'. I think I used to find more to talk about, and don't know where it went. It's like a light switched out.

My AIBU is whether I'm unreasonable for just accepting this. I practice gratitude and appreciate all the small things, but they're nothing - literally - to write home about.

Well, are you bored with your life?

Honestly I think having no news is the most incredible privilege. Everything is ok. That's just wonderful. Enjoy it!

Take it from someone who has had to tell people the worst news, and needs to keep repeating it for new people: no news is a very good place to be.

When people ask me how are you/how has your son been etc I always end up saying ‘same as always’ etc. I think it’s good to not have anything dramatic or potentially bad happening, I like my cosy little comfortable existence.

Not at all, you sound like you have your head firmly screwed on. Life is all about the ebb and flow after all, and if you’re having a reasonable patch then what’s wrong with that? I’ve just moved house and I think that all I have to talk about is boring moving bullshit - essential though it is - I feel like one of those dolls that you pull a cord on the back of and it repeats the same stuff. I would much rather be in a mellow frame of mind with less to report.

Also when people ask you your news they generally are just checking in on you, it’s a bit of love language that on the surface might look a bit generic but in reality is just a way in if you need to share anything in either direction. Enjoy your zen and please send some my way!

Oh my goodness I feel exactly the same.. I dread the question..also hate being asked how my work is (been at same company far too long..)
I know I need to ring in the changes a bit but I am the world's worst procrastinator and with being sleep deprived for what feels like a million years I just can't summon the energy (I'm fine with doing nice things with my small children).
You've put or really well saying it's like all the immediate pressures take up your headspace. Feel that's it with me too.

100%
You do have news - we're all well, the children are thriving and the garden is waking up from winter beautifully.

So that’s your news and it’s good.
child 1 is happy at school, they’re doing well especially at xx and are doing xxx and xx out if school,
child 2 did a great assembly in xxx and are live the trip we had to xx recently.
my works doing well. I’m glad a did room the xx role or went on xx trip.
Funny thing happened with a play date clash last week (explain)
we’re thinking about decorating the xxx
oh and saw xxx at the cinema last week -have you seen it?

Well, are you bored with your life?

A bit, but there's not much I can do until the children are more independent. It's more that I've lost faith that it's all 'for' some greater purpose, though I'm not sad about that.

So, there's no bigger picture.

I have a good friend that this reminds me of, we can talk for hours in person but we don't live close so thats rare, the catch ups in between are always similar, and brief.

"How are you both?"
"Plodding along nicely! Dc settled well at school. How are you and OH? More importantly how's the dog?"
"OH great apart from snoring... so may have killed them before you come next. Dog is wonderful." photo of dog
"Cant kill OH, who would walk dog when youre at work? Can't wait to see her (dog)! Give my love to your parents"

Every time. One of my favourite people in the world.

Same OP but I am glad of it!

I’d probably say something like “oh nothing important to report but kids are doing great at school, work is good if a little testing at times and everything is ticking over nicely really… I’m looking forward to the summer and lighter nights and hope to do X (insert anything like a weekend away / see a film / plant some new bulbs) soon!

dont forget news doesn’t have to be about something which has happened, it can be an interest in something you’d like to do or something you’ve seen on tv or a book you read recently.

Im grateful I don’t have any gossip in my life but there are tons of things I like and tons of things I’d love to do in the future so I usually pull on these areas for general chit chat!

Honestly I think having no news is the most incredible privilege. Everything is ok. That's just wonderful. Enjoy it!

Yes - I feel this very strongly! There have been very tough times. So I'm very, very grateful for lack of excitement, and I do value it!

I have someone in my life who always wants "news". I don't have any! Sometimes I think they want drama and are disappointed that I don't have any to give them.

Sometimes they just want the mundane stuff, we took them for haircuts, DS1 is learning drums, etc

I like having no news. After an absolutely horrific decade with a hideous divorce, serious illness, shock bereavement, so on and so forth, I feel glad when I can say "nothing to report". Don't worry about it OP.

This made me smile OP. I don't like being asked for my 'news' either. You do you. 😀

Well, but I’m also in the same job as last year, haven’t done any recent house renovations, haven’t planned a holiday yet, but it will just be pootling around Italy with friends, have a child who is reasonably happy at school — but those wouldn’t be the interesting things about my life, anyway! No one’s really interested in anyone’s holidays or the fact that they retired the bathroom.

Enjoy OP!

You could lurch from one catastrophe to another 'like wot I do'.

Currently sat on my own experiencing a bit of chest pain and don't know what to do.

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche Currently sat on my own experiencing a bit of chest pain and don't know what to do.

Oh goodness... I hope you're okay, and can get help if you need.

OP, I feel like this Wendy Cope poem was written for you;

Being Boring
'May you live in interesting times.' Chinese curse

If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.
There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion - I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last.
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.
I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

Hmmm.

Touch of angina - only sat watching tv. Did nothing to bring it on 🤔

Waiting for it to stop.

I'll be rait - as they say in Yorkshire.

Can you make some excitement. I took up football in my 40s (shite but enthusiastic), singing (ditto) and learnt to play rh piano.
I play matches, have concerts to sing in and made loads of friends.

Take lots of care, I have a dodgy ticker too.

@toastandtwo That poem has made me unreasonably happy!

The replies have been revelatory. I realise now I was feeling a mixture of guilty and annoyed - but it would be better to just natter away without overthinking, rather than not playing along.

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche I hope you feel better soon. I love your name - I'm slow on the uptake and was wondering why your other Carl's a Porsche. For a second - like the joke about the male fantasy being a girlfriend who turns into a pizza - I thought perhaps your ideal man was a man who turned into a flash car.

Take care!!!

Oh man, my DM is like that. Her: what’s new? Me: nothing (and I’m happy with that) her: but how is that possible? Me: I don’t live in a circus with a new program daily 🙄