To never have any news

[yesihavenonews]

I rang a family member for their birthday and they wanted to know my news.

I guess anything would do - but I have no news. My views on politics and world events are unremarkable. My job is the same stuff as last year, just slightly worse-resourced. There are no promotions on the horizon, no improvements on the house. We're not going on holiday due to the cost-of-living crisis. The children seem happy enough in school - I'll find out at Parents' Evening.

I have no gossip. Nothing, other than the daffodils are looking good this year, and there are no trains next week.

It's partly that the immediate pressures of each day take up all my headspace. Besides that, there is genuinely nothing on my side that is interesting to report, other than 'the playdates clash this weekend' and 'the dentist is pleased with the children'. I think I used to find more to talk about, and don't know where it went. It's like a light switched out.

My AIBU is whether I'm unreasonable for just accepting this. I practice gratitude and appreciate all the small things, but they're nothing - literally - to write home about.

I read it as Carl’s a Porsche too! 😂

Is this someone you don't speak to often?
It's hard to share news if nothing interesting has happened but easier if you speak to someone regularly.
You can tell them about places you've been, films you've watched, yes the play date clash and all the little bits of 'news'
It's just not newsworthy to share with people who don't know much about your daily life.

Ask them their news, if it's my relatives it's the house, the health, the garden, why Mrs at no. 12 hasn't taken her bin in yet, should she go over to see if she's alright, I think I might try a new hairdresser, but then again I might not...

Love the boredom poem :)

I always say " no news is good news and I'm happy with that" then ask about them

They aren't asking for 'world news' though, they are asking how you are / what you've been up to.
"I got soaked the other day. Nipped up to the shop and the sky was blue then the heavens opened when I was part way home"
"DD was at Brownies last night - she really enjoys it at the moment. Can't get ds to stick at Beavers though"
"I was wondering about starting swimming lessons for them - what age did yours start?"
"Work is still what it is - nothing exciting there - but it pays the bills. I had to renew my car insurance last week - couldn't believe how much the prices have gone up. Have you had a renewal recently ?"
"It's a bit difficult to get out much what with work, and the dc being the age they are. I've been watching more TV than I used to. Have you seen {whatever you've watched recently}... then you can discuss. "Or anything you recommend?" or "Did you watch 'the match' / Bake Off / Happy Valley / Panorama / Strictly last night?"
"Think I'm going to have to get dd some new shoes - her feet seem to be growing non stop at the moment."

It's just about the little things - yes, the mundane things - that are going on in life. Keeps you in touch with each other.

I think I'd like no news, my life is spent going from one disaster to the next.
As an example Sat my son broke his computer monitor accidently, ordered replacement which arrived yesterday. Today took my uncle to hosp appt 50 miles away and my son rang to say he'd been sick all over computer keyboard so that needs replacing, he's had a virus for a couple of weeks and antibiotics not helped. Spent 3 hours at walk in centre with him only to be told to ring GP in Morning for blood test.

My other Carl 🤣 - as if I know two blokes called Carl (which I actually do). Common name when I was at school.

I used to sit next to Carl in primary school. The teacher used to scrub his hands every morning with a huge scrubbing brush and a large block of Fairy Soap. Wouldn't be allowed now.

I haven't driven my Porsche for two years now - all that tax and insurance just going to waste.

I always get weirded out when people say 'what have you been up to?' And my mind goes blank So I try to pre plan an answer to that before social occasions! Even things you've been researching or reading or watching can be good conversation topics

@yesihavenonews

Agreed OP.. you have had hard times in the past and now you are appreciating having no news. Enjoy it!

I have a teen DD with mental health issues. It's a rollercoaster and the very first thing I get asked about whenever I speak to anyone on the phone.

The second question is about how is my awful ex (DCs dad( and has be done anything horrible this week.

I don't really have money to do nice stuff either.

Please enjoy having absolutely no news and hopefully for a long time to come.

Fabulous Wendy Cope poem!

I'm the same OP. I'm happy, things are stable, but also conversations about this kind of thing don't interest me. Have you had a nice weekend, how was your holiday, any nice plans for the summer, seen any good films lately, boring boring boring topics! Maybe necessary social glue, but dull.

"It's more that I've lost faith that it's all 'for' some greater purpose, though I'm not sad about that."

Don't be sad, although I was waiting in for parcels all day yesterday and had to keep reframing 'a waste of a day' to 'a day to chill'. But there isn't a greater good, we are just highly developed land mammals. While we should make the most of it, that looks very different for each of us.

I'm happy for you OP. You have life sussed.

I used to lead a very exciting life always doing things career, study and travel-wise. I'm retired now and content as a pig in muck in my little town by the sea, my quiet life in my little house set in a tiny bird-filled garden.

People who know the old me expect zingy news and say they think that one day I will click back into the old shape and start having lots of excitement to share. Not a chance, this is the happiest I've ever been. I think I'm sailing through calm waters in a patch nirvana and I hope it lasts as long as possible.

The Wendy Cope's poem is fabulous. She has another on the same kind of lines which I love.

The Orange

At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—
The size of it made us all laugh.
I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—
They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do
Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.
This is peace and contentment. It’s new.

The rest of the day was quite easy.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I’m glad I exist.

A good book about contentment with the little things is Devorgilla Days by Kathleen Hart. I've read it twice I loved it so much.

@SomersetTart Funnily enough that’s the poem I was thinking of initially, and then I read the other one which seemed even more apt. But The Orange is one of my favourites. It makes me think of my family, and how lucky I am to have a very simple, ordinary, content life.

I've have the exact same problem as the OP but never thought of it this way before. I always thought of myself as boring for not having any news but the privilege of being this way really cannot be overstated so thanks for that insight.

To paraphrase the great Dolly, it has taken a lot of effort and a lot of therapy to get my life this quiet!

I was once friendly with someone who worked on a long-running TV programme. One of the stars had just joined from a teen soap.

My friend asked him what he did outside of work, for fun - just making conversation. 'I go to the gym?' he droned in reply, in upspeak.

Yesterday I realised that this is now my life, without the fame, fortune and good looks. And I'm now less judgey of the star!

@yesihavenonews

To be honest the only time I - or any of my friends - have anything "interesting" to report is usually when it's something bad (redundancies, divorce, family member being diagnosed with an illness). Most of the times it's "what's new?" "oh nothing really!".

I have had plenty of times in life where there has been drama / bad things happening and I have been desperate for simple and mundane! So now I have it, I appreciate it and feel happy and content with the fact that nothing is really happening, we're just existing peacefully and enjoying the simple things in life.

Also remember there are a lot of people out there who would give anything for a quiet and "boring" life.

Right now if someone asked me for news, I wouldn’t know where to start! There is so much going on. Not necessarily bad, but all stressful and life feels very uncertain.

and what I would give for there to be no news…everything is up in the air and it’s super stressful.

You post has reminded me to be thankful when things finally return to being ‘boring’