To get married with a newborn

[Dustpanandbrush]

Yesterday I found out I’m pregnant (1-2 weeks according to clear blue) estimated due date will be 16th-20th of November and our wedding date is set at 23/12 ahhhh!

there’s part of me that’s thinking the obvious - this is 2nd baby so I’m under no illusion about how hard the early days are, and I know it’s on one hand a crazy idea to go ahead - the practicalities of dress, feeding, sleep deprivation etc.

HOWEVER there’s another part of me that thinks it could be a lovely thing - sure it’ll look different to what we imagined but babies and weddings are both wonderful things and the time of year would be lovely to get everyone we love together to just celebrate everything. I feel quite relaxed about the wedding prep, the venue is all inclusive so I don’t have to handle separate suppliers.

is it completely crazy?! Does anyone have some nice stories of newborns at weddings?!

thanks!

There you go. I'm due for a name change anyway 🤣

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

I do understand it would feel so disappointing to postpone, but I think this would be quite mad.

My baby was a brilliant sleeper from birth and established breastfeeding relatively easily, but this would have very tough.

I had an emergency c section with a very good and easy recovery, but 2 weeks after birth I could only walk for about 30mins before needing a 2 hour nap. At 6 weeks I was just starting to cycle but my scar would ache after a 20 min cycle and I'd be shattered. And that's with a good recovery! I have friends who were still in agony at 6 weeks.

A PP mentioned the germ exposure for your newborn which is certainly something to thing about, especially in winter.

Appreciate what you’re saying! I have to say though, I’m not concerned about germ exposure, we will have a child at school so there will be plenty of germs going around from day one 😅

PP is right. If you’re planning on taking a career break for maternity leave and/or to work part time, and you’re not the main earner, you are putting yourself at financial risk by not being married. Do it sooner rather than later. Read one of the many threads on Relationships from women whose partners have left them with nothing to find out why.

@Dustpanandbrush I read this and first thought was Noooo, don't do it. However, having read your subsequent posts maybe it is a good decision for you. I say this as someone who wished they savoured her wedding day for when her 18 month old was a bit older. I felt like I rushed it and although happy to be married for well over a decade now, I wish I'd made better decisions and felt like more of a bride than a frazzled mum on my wedding day.

First ask yourself....
Is the wedding itself a really important to you, or is being married the main thing? You are going to have to be really easy going with a lot of things, you say you're not really worried about the wedding prep etc so I guess the fine details aren't really a huge consideration and you're ok with being flexible about the dress, the prep and general the aesthetic side of things?

You could be physically in great shape but are you ok with potentially bleeding and changing maternity pads all day, recovering from potential stitches and other physical side affects of birth can be unpleasant? Also, you'll likely be very tired with a newborn. Again, it doesn't mean it's impossible but you're not going to feel your very best and you will still be feeding and potentially bleeding.

If it really is all about the celebration and coming together of loved ones and you are wanting it to be low key and fuss free, then I don't think you are mad but if you are paying a fortune and want this to be a stand out day to remember, I'd consider putting it off and having it to look forward to at a time when it can be all about the wedding and celebrating you and your husband as inevitably you will be feeding and being mum all day, even with a babysitter you will be significantly less present than most brides would hope to be on their special day.

Only you know but if you truly are just wanting to be married and a low key party then it sounds perfect for you.

Edit: of course being married is the main thing, I meant is being married immediately more important than waiting so you can celebrate it at a more convenient time.

Absolutely no way! I'd move it. My first was 16 days late and I had an emergency cesarean. On your time frame I hadn't really got the hang of breastfeeding and could barely move! It's not just the ceremony, there's a lot of planning organising and doing stuff in the run up and if you are barely mobile that would be a nightmare! It's hard enough with 2 young children

My little one was about 3 months old when we got married. My three year old DD and SD were flower girls, and my 4 year old son was a ring bearer. My oldest stepson walked me down the aisle, and my youngest stepson, although too shy to participate, was heavily involved in the wedding planning. It was a lovely wedding. We have some lovely pictures of us all, including the newborn. Go for it, and good luck!😉

Gawjuss! I luv the high necked wedding dress and tiara 😍.

I did it and it was wonderful! My whole life changed in 3 weeks: I moved house, a day later I gave birth, 1 week later I went to a friends wedding with baby, week after that I got married! It was all whirlwind and tiring but it was perfect.

I would advise buying a second maternity style dress for the evening ( I bought a pink lace one from Tiffany rose) it helped with feeding. Had a room at the venue which greatly helped and a huge number of willing baby sitters! The photos were so beautiful.

The only thing we didn't do was a honeymoon- still waiting on that! 3 years down the line I have happy memories.

Only thing I would say is I was induced, I suppose it would have been difficult if I had been guessing the day! Also I had big pants on (the tena sanitary ones) and I was a little sore but it didn't stop me from having a great time x

Whoops zombie thread... and I already posted on here 😂