To get married with a newborn

[Dustpanandbrush]

Yesterday I found out I’m pregnant (1-2 weeks according to clear blue) estimated due date will be 16th-20th of November and our wedding date is set at 23/12 ahhhh!

there’s part of me that’s thinking the obvious - this is 2nd baby so I’m under no illusion about how hard the early days are, and I know it’s on one hand a crazy idea to go ahead - the practicalities of dress, feeding, sleep deprivation etc.

HOWEVER there’s another part of me that thinks it could be a lovely thing - sure it’ll look different to what we imagined but babies and weddings are both wonderful things and the time of year would be lovely to get everyone we love together to just celebrate everything. I feel quite relaxed about the wedding prep, the venue is all inclusive so I don’t have to handle separate suppliers.

is it completely crazy?! Does anyone have some nice stories of newborns at weddings?!

thanks!

I did exactly this. Covid changed our wedding plans and moving date. I moved house on the Friday, gave birth on the Saturday, went to a wedding on the following Saturday had my own wedding the Saturday after!

He was 2 weeks old at our wedding, I have to admit that I was tired, but it was a lovely day, my dress fit ok, and I have some absolutely adorable baby photos! It was great for almost every family member to see him and have a cuddle!

But it was a mad three weeks! And my 'well this happened, then this happened' Craig David seven days story!!! X

You will be fine, just buy a dress that's not too fitted (I bought a maternity dress for the evening, pink lace number which was so much better than my day dress) and big underwear! X

Personally, my second baby was a breeze. Harder to establish BF but I was up and around two days later with my newborn and her 2.5 year old sister. I was back at work part time when she was six weeks old. I would advise against it if it was your first baby. Only major complication would be if you needed a c section.

Oh and I asked for maternity wear advice on here, and was I was stupid, that I should LTB because of the timings and that my wedding would be a miserable affair..... it was none of those things!!!

Wait, what? 😂

Ahhh, thank you for this!

I am seeing the wedding as more of a family celebration as opposed to a day about us, so on the one hand it just feels like another reason to celebrate.

I guess there are ‘what ifs’ regardless of your situation!

Really! That’s reassuring to hear. Even if it’s just to know I’m not nuts for considering it 😂

I couldn't have managed this personally, I had a forceps delivery and at 3-4 weeks post partum could still only manage short walks and was regularly icing my stitches, not to mention still bleeding, which would definitely have put a dampener on the wedding day! I understand the reluctance to postpone when you've been looking forward to it and clearly some people have a much breezier recovery than I did but, as others have said, it's worth considering what happens if you don't...

Honestly, I think I'd say fuck it and just go for it!

Yeah you might be tired, you might have a colicky baby, you might not look princess perfect, but if you have the right sort of personality for it, it could be great!

If you are a laid back sort, good at rolling with the punches but also well organised and plan ahead, don't mind having to be a bit more selective about the type of dress, and have friends and family who will be supportive and helpful, it could be wonderful.

Does that sound like you?

If you will put yourself under loads of pressure to look "perfect" , don't like to accept help, and are disorganised, I'd be more inclined to suggest rescheduling.

No I don't. Do you think you could have a car accident uninsured then take out car insurance to cover it..? I guess if you haven't yet booked certain vendors they might be able to cover that, but since you're already pregnant it might be excluded. You generally need to take out wedding insurance before you even pay deposits or vendors won't be covered. I suggest you change the date or risk losing all your money! Also PP makes a great point about the guests, it's one thing to gamble your own money but you'd also be risking theirs.

Now you've got me thinking 'just do it'. 🤣

Just to mention, I had a forceps delivery, episiotomy, was induced, the wound got infected. But again I managed it fine! What's important is that you buy a comfortable dress, I had one I could breast feed in, wasn't too fitting would hide big pants.

I popped up to my wedding night hotel room every now and then to either breast feed or pump, but I had a willing crew of baby sitters- so I could definitely let my hair down and do some boogying! My venue in the evening was like a 3 sided barn which really helped because it wasn't that noisy in places so the baby had plenty of places to go away from the music.

Tiffany rose- was the maternity wedding gown web site I got my dress from for the evening- it was lovely.

Ahhh so inspiring! Thank you!! I remember feeling super human and in love with my body for about 6 weeks after my first so if it’s the same it could be a great time to do it! 3 month sleep regression made me question everything 😂 so I think that would be worse

all the accommodation is on site too so our baby sitter could spend most of the time in the room letting me know when I’m needed for food/comfort. I don’t drink anyway so I wouldn’t be missing anything it that sense. (Trying to convince myself) 🤣🤣

I went to a wedding where the bride had a 3 week old once. It was lovely. Not what they’d planned but they had a fabulous time!

@canttellyouwhereorwhatido Why does it matter so much if you have planned the wedding when baby is more of a toddler? Hubby and I had a baby before we married as at 39 and 45 we weren't getting any younger (and had already met later in life).
We married when our daughter was 18 months and tbh wouldn't have wanted to do so when she was any younger than that really.

I wouldn't do it. Too many unknowns. Also feeding / sleep deprivation.

Don't want to state the obvious but not all babies arrive on time!

Personally I was fit and able straight away afterwards, that's not necessarily an issue, more you could be in labour!

Just reread, 6 weeks later, that's fine

I did this, but it was my first baby. Picture perfect delivery. Everything went very smoothly.

However… baby was absolutely the focus of the day and it was very hard working around cluster feeding in the evening. Had guests complaining that we hadn’t cut the cake yet etc. Husband and I have very few memories of the day as we were very much in a sleep deprived state, and shopping for a wedding dress at 4 weeks post partum was depressing!

If I could do it all again, I’d have delayed.

Another thing to bear in mind… it worked well with my first child as that birth was straightforward, but would have been impossible with my second, who was an emergency section. There were all sorts of complications. It’s worth thinking carefully about.

I did it at 2 months old. It was fine. He was an angel baby though.

Noooo! If you had easy delivery and can only remember sleep from newborn stage (even if challenging in other ways) - not to be gloomy but it sounds like you had a very easy ride.

My firstborn was colicky and screamed endlessly, I barely slept. My second born slept well but episiotomy recovery was not straightforward and I got constipation-related anal fissures that were agony. You also have to contend with how firstborn responds to baby - the early weeks and months were hard and raw and emotional.

Maybe have a registry office wedding well before due date then a big bash when baby is one or so?

I think it depends whether the big day is really important to you or whether you’re happy just getting married, if that makes sense.

I certainly couldn’t have coped with a big party (but we had a pretty shitty birth) but I could have done a registry office with parents and best mates and then gone for lunch. You could have the party later!

I did this!
My baby was 3 weeks old when we got married. It was lovely, I'm a very laid back person though. We had a small wedding and meal just for close family and friends then 100 at the night do (yep, another mn sin).
I didn't have a babysitter I just passed her round in between looking after her between the 2 of us.

I did have a room in the hotel to take her to when needed but apart from a feed and change we didn't use it.
I'd say do as much prep beforehand (making wedding favours while in labour was a challenge) and keep it relaxed.
I'll try to find a photo.

We got married with a 3 month old and a 3 year old. We planned as much of the wedding as possible before the birth. It was all absolutely fine and a lovely day. Having a sleepy newborn that could be passed around was much easier than an older baby I would say! I did have to take the baby away a few times to breastfeed because I had to get half undressed but apart from that it was all good!