To think milk means milk

[Bluemonkey2029]

I was having my nails done recently and was offered a coffee - lovely. They asked if I wanted milk and I said yes please. They brought the coffee to me with the milk in a separate jug and luckily I noticed the colour difference and asked what milk it was - was told it was oat milk!

Now that's probably not an issue for most people but I'm coeliac and almost all oat milks aren't safe for me including that one. Had I not noticed or had they put it straight into the coffee I'd have been very unwell. Another coeliac friend has had this happen to her when at a friend's house and was really unwell. AIBU to think if you are planning to give a milk alternative you should let people know? Nut, soy and oat milks all contain allergens (as does cow milk but at least if you have a dairy allergy you'd probably expect to ask for an alternative).

I should add, I live in a city with a comparatively high vegan population

YANBU - 'Milk' means dairy and if it's an alternative it should be specified.
YABU - If you have an allergy you should always check if someone says milk that they mean dairy.

I think I would be tempted to send them a message explaining exactly why this is so important, @Bluemonkey2029. I’d mention the recent cases where people have died because they didn’t know there was a specific allergen in their food. I’d also tell them the short term problems and long term permanent damage that can be done when someone with coeliac disease consumes gluten.

Even if they don’t care about the damage they could do to someone’s health, surely they don’t want to leave themselves open to legal action?

As a previous poster said, all they have to do is say “It’s oat milk - is that OK?”

Of course but that's not quite the same because it sounds like you could see the difference and it doesn't sound like it made you unwell? I'd love to be able to not give these things another thought and pre-coeliac diagnosis it would have been a non-event. I actually preferred oat milk to regularly milk when I could drink it!

Yes, all oats are cross contaminated unless certified gluten free so gluten free oat milks do exist but are uncommon. Oat allergies do also exist though so it's still a risk not to specify.

I’d rather have the juices from oats and nuts in my tea than pus/hormone filled cow secretions biologically made for baby calf’s :) oh not to mention the cows that are locked in 2x2 pens and impregnated over and over. But I suppose you believe they all skip happily in green fields!

OP - I’m coeliac too and a vegan. I think with such a serious autoimmune issue you should probably just specify you want cows milk. Lots of places offer oat as a default now - many of Nero and Starbucks drinks are made solely with oat. You have to request cows milk in these cases.

I would feel the same as I do when cafes ask if I want butter of my baked potato or whatever, and I find it swimming in vile "spread".

I agree you should send them a message completely spelling it out.

and yes, milk means milk produced by a mammal, I’d assume cow. Milk alternatives should be explained.