To think it doesn't hurt to be helpful (shop staff)

[PopandFizz]

I was moaning about this to DH and he thought it was unreasonable to be slightly miffed at.

Going to make that clear, I'm not complaining or hurling abuse at a staff member, there will be no raising of the issue with anyone. I just thought it doesn't hurt to be kind/helpfulespecially when you're in a customer service style situation.

I was at the morrisons till with 4 year old DS. They are disabled and I would say they are 'obviously' disabled. They are blind and have very thick glasses, during the exchange I did at one point say 'they cant see the perspex cos they are blind' because i had to reach over and put my hand over the edge of one of this perspex advertisement things that was sticking out so he didn't run into it. They are also severely delayed and autistic, at this age this is also obvious.

So I said to the woman at the till, 'this is our first time not in the buggy or a trolley at the supermarket so we are a bit excited'
I'd just bought 5 items, I was holding my kids hand who is trying to escape. I asked for a paper bag.
Kid slips my hand, I have to grab him and bring him back. I start trying to pack, meltdown ensues and they are literally pulling so hard to lean I have to use both hands to stand them up properly before they dislocate something.
'Sorry, can i pay on card' continue to try and get a pair of kids jeans in the bag with screaming, thrashing child, who escapes my hand again just after I tap the card, have to go grab him again. Clearly his patience time is up for the trip. Trying to pack one handed to hold the kids hand with great difficulty.
There is now a queue behind me on till.

So the assistant didn't at any point offer to help me pack the bag which I was clearly struggling with at all, or say anything whilst I'm combating meltdown and packing the bag. Cos it was a paper bag it kept closing so it was hard to open and pack.

I just think it wouldn't have hurt her to help pack the bag but DH says it's not their job.
YABU - DH is right, it's not their job and I shouldn't expect a hand.
YANBU - the shop assistant could have helped out and seems harsh that they didn't.

If I want help I always just politely ask, oh could you put those in here, and just hand the bag. Some stuff I always need help with as I've got ortho issues.
I have only been to Moz are couple of times and the staff were not great. I would not choose to shop there.

I used to be a cashier, I'd have helped pack and probably tried to distract your son for you. It's just the kind thing to do really isn't it.

Christ, I've played catch over the screen with a ball of paper with random children whose parents were desperately trying to shop before they had a meltdown and made god knows how many blue tack animals for the amusement of small children. I don't even particularly like kids but it's just the decent thing to help someone who is struggling.

What an awful experience. I appreciate we can ask for help but think isn't always as easy as it sounds, especially when trying to deal with a difficult situation.
In contrast, I used to take my mum shopping from time to time - she had vascular dementia but on a good day could manage with support and liked to choose things for herself. On one occasion she suddenly became very flustered and upset at the till (transpired she was brewing a urinary infection which always used to knock her sideways). The cashier was lovely, suggested I took mum to the cafe where it was a bit quieter and said she could put the shopping through and bag it for us to collect and pay at Customer Services if that would help. As we got into the cafe another member of staff also noticed we were struggling, came to the table to see if we needed any assistance and offered complementary drinks. They were life savers that day - thank you Sainsburys.

Of course the cashier should have died or tried to help. I worked in retail for a long time and definitely would have offered or just packed your bag for you. Unfortunately, good customer is a:skill and can't be done by anyone, but has been massively undervalued for years. This along with employers generally cutting staff to the bone and not treating staff very well, with a bigger focus on selling rather than service, that good customer service is very rare these days. I don't think the social skills people seem to have lost during Covid along with an increasingly narcissistic society fed by social media has helped either (in terms of how both staff and customers are relating to each other). Plus we've got the Cost of living crisis making people more stressed and unhappy. Along with the move to online shopping which has put greater pressure on businesses to cut costs and therefore staff. It's all a bit shit at the moment. I do hope we can reverse some of it as life and society is generally pretty unpleasant at the moment.

As a sales assistant, mother (to a child with SEN) and decent person, I’d have packed your shopping for you. Do I have to do that? No, not really but I absolutely do all the time because I’m not a dick and it usually helps the queue move faster anyway.

I think that you should have asked and he should have offered to help.

I’ve seen cashiers at all kinds of supermarkets help pack for customers for reasons like broken arm, grumpy baby, elderly with mobility issues … and thought that was good customer service.

Even if someone wants to take the line of 'it's not her job, did you even ask', what about the person behind you at the till? I don't understand watching ppl struggle, it feels perverse to watch all that unfold & not lift a finger to help.

I'm sorry no one gave you a hand, I think that's incredibly sad.

I literally still have palpitations going into supermarkets with my DS and he’s 8 now, he genuinely turned into the devil reincarnated at the mere sight of a Asda logo.

She could have helped you. I’d of offered help if I was behind you. Worst case scenario you’d of said no.

Sorry it was a shitty experience.

I think it's less likely the assistant wasn't helping because they were lazy or uncaring than because they didn't know what to do that couldn't backfire, so didn't do anything.

Yeah I think she should have offered. If I was a customer I would ask if you needed a hand let alone staff.

YaNbu OP. As check out staff myself, it's simple customer service to ask if you want help when someone clearly needs it. I had a customer struggling to reach into her trolley and put her shopping on the belt so I offered. Yes it may take an extra minute but honestly we're there to do a job and part of that job is helping customers. I'd have been annoyed if I was you too.

Of course the cashier should have died or tried to help.

I don't think they need to go that far.

I would have helped if this happened when I worked on a till, but that's just me

Use your words

Not telepathy

To be fair l have been in a queue and heard the assistant offer help only to be met with "Do l look like l need help?" response. They can't win.

They can, because most people don't respond rudely. I worked on checkouts for years in 6th form and uni and yes, sometimes people were rude arseholes but generally they weren't. An offer to help was almost always either gratefully accepted or politely declined. And if someone rudely snaps "do I look like I need help??" well screw them, they can pack their own bags and go on being miserable gits.

This absolutely

You need to ask for help people aren't mind readers. The cashier might have rigid thinking

She might have tried to give you eye contact and nod towards the shopping? Or, "You OK, need any help?" Would also have been fine imo

They aren't you. They don't know your struggle. You told them how excited you were to be shopping so for all they knew you were trying to show your child how to pack

For all you know she's at the end of a long shift she's found out some bad news and she's just in a bit of a brain fog. People aren't robots

Or be inexperienced and under confident.

YANBU to feel a bit miffed. But YWBU to do anything/complain.

I similarly felt irritated after leaving the supermarket (doing a BIG fortnightly shop) when the cashier basically threw everything at me but it’s just one of those things.

It would have been ideal if the cashier had offered to help but given that she didn't at first, you just needed to say something. There are always threads where people are irritated by checkout staff who didn't respond to mute glaring or huffing but they didn't, like, just ask. There are as many people who take offence at being helped or having a stranger pack their bag badly, she wasn't to know.

I keep receiving little reports with photos on my FB page about Asda employees who have performed some noble caring task for a customer in distress. I assume you were not in Asda.

Couple of responses like this, which is interesting, I'd have felt it was rude to ask her to pack my bag for me if she hasn't offered.

I don't think a cashier offering to help pack your bag could be offensive by many, this used to be standard behaviour so I wouldn't even see it as 'beyond duties' or singling me out for not being able to.