Advice please - tricky situation with restaurant

[hairbearbunches]

Any advice on this welcome. I'm not sure what to do next other than chalk it up to a poor experience and move on, but I'm pretty cross about it. Went to a pretty upmarket restaurant last week not far from where we live. Second time I've been. DH has been a few times more with work colleagues. The waitress dropped some cutlery behind my chair as she was clearing away the plates of the table next to us - group of 5 women. Loud noise, nothing more than that or so I thought at the time. As we were leaving, DH went to loo and asked me to take the dog who had been sitting underneath his side of the table the entire meal. I took her lead and she started paying serious interest in my coat which was hanging off the back of the chair. When I looked down, it was covered in grease marks, there was pretty much a perfect imprint of a greasy knife up the left hand side of the sleeve as well as other biggish greasy marks. It was quite obvious what had happened so I went and told the waitress who had dropped the cutlery. She looked a bit rabbit in headlights and I got the distinct impression she knew it was already there and had been hoping we weren't going to notice. The coat is a waxed coat from Toast. I got it in the sale but it still cost £175. It can't be dry cleaned, hand wash cold only. I've tried to get the grease out and made a decent stab of it, but it's not the same coat. There are still stains on it.
Anyway, long story short, I finally got an email back from them tonight saying they'd spoken to the waitress and the knife (singular) she dropped was nowhere my coat and therefore they believe that my coat was already greased up before I got there and the dog licking it has made it worse (the dog licked it once).
What would you do? Put it down to bad luck and accidents happen or pursue it further. I'm pretty hacked off with their dismissive attitude. I walked in to their restaurant with a pristine coat and walked out with it in a right mess and they've made me feel like I'm trying to pull a scam on them.

But whenever I read shitty reviews of a restaurant that otherwise has lots of decent reviews, particularly if they're from an aggrieved and entitled sounding customer swearing that something very expensive has been ruined by a few drops of gravy, I tend to think the person posting the review must be a bit of a wanker. It makes no difference at all whether I'd dine there or not. Most of the one star reviews on Trip Advisor etc seem to be written by grifters looking for freebies or unreasonable people who are impossible to please.

People can stop reading the thread if it no longer interests them.

You're assuming the OP would write an aggrieved and entitled-sounding review, but maybe she'd write a calm and moderate-sounding one. (I do know the kind of hysterical TripAdvisor review you mean and they make no difference at all to my decisions either!)
And if a friend told me about the scenario the OP has described, I'd take it seriously. Word of mouth is important and carries a lot of weight and a good business recognises this.

Nobody says that the waitress should not have dropped the knives, or that she is in any way at fault.

In fact, the factors that you describe “working in a restaurant and kitchen, long hours, waiting on people, on your feet, your knees tremble, your ankles start hurting , your wrists get bad joints”

are exactly the sort of issues that create a risk in a commercial environment and these are the reason why the employer has to accept that sometimes accidents will happen and liability will be incurred. It’s a risk of doing business and the consequences should be borne by the business. Insurance is taken out to respond to incidents which result in a bigger financial liability than in this case. Nobody is blaming or seeking to punish the waitress.

You say “the poor waitress” - but it would be the restaurant who ought to be paying for cleaning the coat/whatever. Not the waitress.

You ought to pity the OP having her stuff damaged. Just because she can afford a £175 coat doesn’t mean it’s ok for it to get damaged by someone else’s mistake. Are you an inverted snob? Because that’s just as bad as being an ordinary snob. In both cases, it’s just mean behaviour towards someone who you consider different to you. Unacceptable.

Bin the coat and make a mental note for next time to buy something that can be easily cleaned.

I'm wondering how 'upmarket' this restaurant was when the coat was slung on the back of a chair and they let smelly dogs in? Was it a gourmet pub?

Frankly, I'd just chalk it up to one of life's bad experiences and force myself to swiftly move on: Somethings aren't worth the anxiety or negativity. Spin it into a positive: Now you have the excuse to shop for a new coat... and something that can easily been cleaned!

I'm sure that poor woman, the waitress, feels dreadful about the whole situation. Move on and let it go!

I wonder if the reason the waitress doesn't want to own up is because they'll dock her pay for the cost. 🤔
From your pov The Restaurant should deal with this as a business. And personally, I would be expecting honesty from the waitress, as that's the right thing to do. So I get where you coming from.

The waitress is not being honest, she could just be that sort of person... Or... It could be the restaurant aren't good to their staff and the consequences of owning up would land on her personally.
I've worked in similar roles back in the day and some employers were good - 'team restaurant' all the way.. and some were not - 'fuck you and the horse you rode in on' all the way....
We can only guess what the situation is here.

It's your word against hers now, so I'd drop it as it isn't likely to go well. They've told you their stance.

It's unjust and for that reason it stings. I'd just never go back.

I'm guessing you don't understand the concept of burden of proof? I've got a dirty old coat in the cupboard, if I tell the restaurant I went to last night that it happened in their establishment is that proof?

I'm assuming she'd approach it as she has here, with a patronising attitude to the waiting staff and the strong implication that she wants money.

The price of the coat is utterly irrelevant and just makes people sound petty and chippy.

I've worked as a waitress and in a kitchen, yes.

This waitress lied and said she dropped only one knife.

If this had happened to me when I was waitressing, I wouldn't have lied, I'd have admitted to how much cutlery I dropped (a restaurant full of people saw/heard it anyway). And I was doing this job as a gauche and shy 17- and 18-year-old. This waitress was a grown woman and you'd expect more strength of character.

Having said that, I do think, as I said earlier, she was probably badly trained and/or knew or suspected she'd be made to pay personally, which is a reflection on the business more than on here.

Jesus wept.RTFT.

I think restaurants attitude has been appalling. I would go in and speak to the manager. (Ideally what you should have done on the day) When I worked in a restaurant we wooulf offer to pay for the dry cleaning or offer an voucher, free meal, free drinks.....anything so the customer would return and not write a bad review. Give them one more chance before you decide to write a bad review.

I am wondering what the response here would have been if, instead of a butter knife landing on OP’s jacket, it was a steak knife that had landed in the back of her head?

I'm wondering what the response would have been if the OP hadn't mentioned the words upmarket or dog.

I don’t think this is ok. If they are an upmarket restaurant- they should, in my opinion, foot the bill for specialist dry cleaning.

Accidents and mistakes happen, but their response has been poor.
Also, having had this same thing happen to me in a restaurant, how did you not notice cutlery falling down the back of your chair- where you not sitting at it?

Oh believe me, I understand burden of proof. I’ve sat on a jury and had to let a rapist go free because a couple of jurors said they couldn’t find a him guilty unless there was a video of him doing it.

that aside, the restaurant is not a court. The op took a clean coat in, a load of greasy stuff was dropped right by the coat, and the coat is greased up. The op is not some sort of con artist - she didn’t take a dirty coat in and the restaurant can see that. They ought to pay to get it cleaned - even in the absence of 100% proof.

vote with your feet op. Eating out these days isn’t much of a pleasure.

I would also insist on the manager and yourself watching the cctv of the time and date. They will have it.

The restaurant will have insurance - just take it to the small claim court and get your money for a new coat. It will cost you initially about £70 and that can be claimed back if you win.

Basically let someone with legal capacity decide - or the restaurant may settle before it goes that far.

I had a sort of similar experience OP, when Tesco delivered my groceries covered in bleach because a bottle of bleach was leaking over everything. It was already on my clothes before I realised and left pink burn marks all over my black top and trousers. Unfortunately I was really struggling financially at the time and couldn't afford to replace the clothing, nor could I afford to lose the clothes. I chased Tesco about it but they stonewalled me, never offered to reimburse me for the clothes. They were absolutely shit about it.

I realise the waitress didn't drop the greasy knife on your coat deliberately, but it happened nevertheless and the restaurant ought to give you the money to replace it if it can't be cleaned. It's not your fault it got damaged. They are at fault here. I'm also sorry the first few replies you got were from such snide arseholes. It's often the way on AIBU. Literally any scenario you can possibly imagine and the first few posters will be clamouring to say it's all your fault and stop moaning, it almost doesn't even matter what it is, they just sit at home waiting for somebody to stick the boot into I think.

I imagine the impact was dulled by the large, thick coat.

I have. OP only heard the cutlery drop. She didn't actually see it make contact. Neither did anyone else. As such the burden of proof is impossible to establish. Hope that helps.

Jesus wept yourself cup cake xx

Not necessarily. Having worked in retail CCTV, there are ALWAYS blind spots the cameras don't reach. This is usually because the establishment doesn't want to pay for better coverage as it means more cameras and more initial expense.

09:03
09:28
09:48

Those are the times of my posts which explain the burden of proof and the evidence available to the OP to discharge it. You’re welcome.

Exactly.

I don’t think different, it was odd though, upmarket is not anything other than Maccy d’s and the term upmarket and dog under the table were a contradiction in terms.